hadriel | voice

...It can’t be…
...a nightmare…failed...
...couldn’t have… died…

[He’s muttering to himself, so only a few stray words are clear enough to be heard, at first. He hadn't intended those to be heard, necessarily, as he's checking that the phone is even on. Then, he clears his throat and speaks normally.]

Kain Highwind of the Guard reporting in. What is the current situation with the demons? I can… [He pauses, more mentally disoriented than anything. The reality of the situation is still sinking in, the memories of being possessed are… deeply unsettling. Not again. He can’t believe he’s lost himself again.] I can go anywhere I’m needed to continue our fight.

[Sigh. Well, there it is. He's in a bit of denial over what happened, but he knows deep down the truth of the matter. He'd been possessed, and... killed. Shadow, that hedgehog had ended his suffering. For now, he’ll throw himself into fighting, a warrior above all else. Mental distress will just have to get shoved deep down inside. But there is… something else bothering him. He belongs to the air, to the wind. He wants to feel that breeze on his face, to see the sky change in color. He’ll even take overcast if he could just see clouds again. The withdrawal is real.]

This is unrelated, but… How can everyone withstand a place without a sky for so long, anyway? Does anyone know if there's some way to see it again, even for a few moments?

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[As he comes to, manifesting in the temple, Kain doesn't move for a few moments. He's a bit disoriented and trying to come to terms with what happened. He simply lies there and breathes at first, taking in one breath after another. Slow and steady... Mentally, he's a bit of a wreck, but physically, he's in one piece again. That... has to count for something.]

[His mind is his own again. As he moves to slowly sit up, he's pretty astonished at the sensation of... simply having control over his own body. That, and breathing. He takes another long, deep breath, savoring it. He's alive. He's alive...]

[But he was dead not too long ago.]

[The thought horrifies him, of course, that it had come to that. But the alternative, being controlled by something else, is far worse. Kain stretches, glancing around for his weapon, trying to get his bearings. If he'd died again, does this mean he's ended up in another world? That seems to be how it goes, after all.]

Where am I...?

[Kain has died before this himself, though the circumstances differed quite a lot. He's woken up here. So of course, he's worrying about ending up in another world again. Well, he might as well look around more, and find out what's become of his lance, he kind of needs that.]

[There's still a weird creepy feeling, though. That feeling when you know you're definitely not alone. Hmmm. After a moment, he starts glancing around... looking around in all directions... then upward...]

[As his gaze goes upward, it catches those eerie eyes first. Kain gives a startled shout as he notices the shadowy figure lurking up there. It takes a moment after that initial surprise to collect his wits, and realize who that is. Are all hedgehogs this creepy?!]

[But as he stares at him, unwanted memories spring back to mind. They'd fought. It's all still a bit of a blur, a mess in his head... because he hadn't been in his right mind at all at the time. Oh, god... had he... had he really given in... allowed himself to be possessed? He'll never forgive himself if so.]

What are you doing here? Where are we?

[Kain stares up at those creepy red eyes, taking in what he's told him. So he hasn't left the cave, and he's now in the Temple of one of their gods. He'd been possessed, and now here he is, waking up as if from a nightmare. But... everything that happened was real... and he isn't waking from any regular sleep, is he?]

[The memories keep falling into place, one by one. He gasps, realization hitting him.]

I fought you, didn't I? [That makes Kain lower his gaze to the floor, in guilt. He'd done it yet again.] I fought you, but not of my own will.

Wait! Shadow-

[Kain approaches him, unsure what he's even doing right now. Mentally, he's in a world of confusion. He has some really disturbing memories lingering in there... of being forced to move to another's will... No. No, not again... To be controlled by any outside force is a fate worse than death and-]

[Death. That's it. Everything finally sinks into place, and he gasps. Shadow had... he'd...]

You killed me.

[There's a long, drawn out pause, before Kain sighs. He's not angry, not after what had happened. In fact, he's glad someone put an end to his misery before he'd done too much harm to others.]

Thank you.

[Well. That wasn't exactly what he'd have expected. Or maybe it should be, Kain is getting this distinct impression that hedgehogs are just tiny rage-filled creatures. At least this one seems to be. Staring at Shadow in annoyance, Kain finally folds his arms, letting his typical coldness take over.]

You don't seem to understand. What I'd become... that was a fate worse than death. You spared me from continuing to exist in such a way... so you do deserve thanks.

[Kain grits his teeth, wondering if all hedgehogs are this infuriating. He shakes his head, more confused than anything, but a lot of frustration in his tone as well.]

Why did you do it, of not for mercy? I didn't make you do anything! I couldn't even- I- [This is so hard to admit, but it's important to his argument, Kain knows.] I couldn't even control my actions. I did nothing purposeful out there, not of my own will. Which is all the more reason why I was better off dead.

[When Shadow's fist flies at him, it takes Kain by surprise. He cries out, falling flat onto his back. Owwwww!!! He probably needs to stop underestimating Shadow... he always forgets that he's so much stronger than he looks. Well. Of course he is, he'd killed him after all. Sigh. Kain's eyes stray away from Shadow, a shameful expression on his face.]

You're wrong about that. I fought with all my might to keep my free will intact... it just... wan't enough... [He adds, grumbling under his breath,] It's not as if it's the first time this has happened.

[Kain sighs heavily, miserable with his fate. He can't believe he'd ended up controlled by another force yet again, subject to another's will. Some part of him almost wishes he'd stayed dead, it might have been for the better.]

I don't know. But I need you to understand, I did everything I could, I fought with all my strength... it just... wasn't enough.

[Ugh, he's so frustrated with himself right now.]

[The last thing Kain ever wants is pity, but he did want to... explain himself a little. Not that it's working too well, he's realizing.]

No! You're wrong!

[Kain is so very close to drawing his lance out on him. He manages to hold back that impulse, but it's oh so very tempting. He shakes his head, furious about Shadow's words.]

I deserve another chance, to be stronger than before. That won't happen again! I won't allow it.

[Kain frowns deeply, angry and agitated by this whole thing. Thinking back to the way the demon had tricked him is one of the worst things imaginable. One of the worst memories he's ever had... He folds his arms.]

Yes... It tempted me by making me believe I would become stronger, as I had set out to do back home... I know I shouldn't have listened. Believe me, I tried hard not to.

[But it just wasn't enough, and he feels like such a massive failure now. Of course, Shadow isn't helping.]

I'll still repay you for helping me!

[He stays where he is, but calls out to Shadow as he retreats. It's just what Kain does, who he is. He's always thought it important to settle what he considers as his debts. Someone who spared him from a demon... well, he definitely owes him for that favor.]

And I'll be stronger from now on. I promise you that.

( action )

dragoon_pride - 2017-01-11 06:41 (UTC) - Expand