video; 001

[knockthemdead]

[For the sake of dramatic effect, Kravitz waits until the video starts to transform into his skeletal form.]

I shall keep this brief.

While I hold no doubt that they can take care of themselves, consider this a warning all the same. Do not attack Lup or Taako. If you hold any intentions of caving to an unknown, foolish entity, do not so much as touch a hair on their heads. Do not look in their general vicinity.

If you so much as try, I will come for you. I will destroy you. Completely.

[While the words might be amusing to some, his empty eyes show no sign of anything but a deadly- hah!- seriousness. The video, short as promised, ends here.]

Comments

video;

[restinglichface]

Well this is embarrassing.

[Lup makes a vague gesture up to her own skeletal face.]

One of us will need to change.

video

[pocketspa]

[Oh my god. He fuckin-- he saw Taako's name on a hitlist and just came out here and did this. And not just his. He asked for Lup too, made sure to actually take note how important she was to him.

What the fuck. How is he so nice. What the hell!!!]

Babe.

That's gay.

[hellosirs]

Good speech, sir, that was very spooky and intimidating!

[ Thumbs up! ]

[knockthemdead]

[He didn't expect her to take it seriously. Doing his best to bury his very real anger, Kravitz puts on a light-hearted tone.]

Yikes. Can't have anyone catching wind of this faux pas, can we?

[In an instant, he's a real boy with flesh and hair and all that fun stuff again.]

Better?

[restinglichface]

Not as pretty as me when I've got skin, but it'll do.

[And legally Kravitz is not allowed to argue with her because her and Taako have the same face. If he does, he goes to jail immediately.]

Soo, you know Taako and I are like the most accomplished wizards of all time, right?

[knockthemdead]

[If he knew Taako's idea of a 'nice' boyfriend is one who generally just gives a shit about his and his family's well being, Kravitz would be in an uproar.]

I suppose that would accurately describe it, yes.

...Although I was shooting for a little bit closer to threatening.

[He looks a little flustered at being called out like this.]

[knockthemdead]

[He did encourage Angus to not be afraid of him. So this is, actually, not so much frustrating as it is endearing.

...Even if he hopes other people's reactions this post are quite different.]

I'll take your word for it. I trust you're keeping your nose out of this mess?

[hellosirs]

Well, I want to help if I can, but I haven't had my name put on a hit list, if that's what you mean.

[so_dark_a_road]

[ Laughing. ] I do love a well-worded threat! Even if it's aimed at me. Which in this case, it's not.

I support you 100%.

Oh, and the skeletal part is really good use of illustration! [ Joke. He can see that it's a physical transformation, not just a technical trick. ]

video

[weedbgon]

[ POPCORN DOT GIF ]

Oh yeah, he'll do it big time! I'm qualified to know! Lay that intimidation on, buddy, you've got this.

[ Look. Sometimes Merle likes not being the only tryhard in the squad. ]

[pocketspa]

[Listen, Kravitz, don't even be mad here. Taako's the shitty boyfriend in this situation. He only seeks out people who don't care on purpose, so he doesn't get into this Emotional Gauntlet. Except now he's in hell and he's not even complaining.]

I mean, pretty sure there'll be other people who're scared. Y'know, people who, uh, care about skeletons or whatever? But I'm pretty sure I'm the most immune person to that shit at this point.

[knockthemdead]

[He’ll consider himself very fortunate in that regard.]

Yes, well, that’s - that’s fair. I would hope so.

...You know, we’re going to have to talk about your sister being a lich once we get out of here. I’m quite happy to set it aside for the moment while we have more pressing issues at hand, but...

[knockthemdead]

[A very valid point. As much as Kravitz certainly doesn't think himself hideous or anything, Taako is on another level. And Lup! Well! Shares that face!]

You know, I'm fairly certain I know where this conversation is going, but I'll allow it to- to play out. Yes, I do, Lup. Please continue. Why do you ask?

[knockthemdead]

I- well, not exactly, but that's a good start, yes.

I would advise you to not make your opinions on the Null public, if you wish to keep it that way.

[Why is he tossing out advice to this child. He doesn't!!! Know!!! Don't ask.]

[pocketspa]

[He just sort of. Hums. Mmmm oh dear.]

Uhhh. Yeah. I mean, when you say outta here, do you mean outta this current clusterfuck, or outta the cave, 'cause I dunno what you're planning on doing here? But I will probably veto it.

[knockthemdead]

[He's grown a little serious, as he so rarely does with Taako.]

Out of the cave. I have no intention of even pretending the natural balance of things has a place in this cave. But after- well. We can cross that bridge when we come to it. If that works for you.

[pocketspa]

Grrrreat. 'Cause, uh, kinda thing we have bigger fish to fry, if you know what I mean.

[Also, this lets him pretend That Isn't Happening Or A Problem for as long as possible. Score one for Taako.]

Should probably also let you know her boyfriend is also a lich. He's not here, but uh, he might show up later? Don't knife him either. He's cool.

[restinglichface]

Also, just reminding you, I'm currently like, super dead.

[In case he needs the reminder.]

Which means the sentiment is sweet and all, but try not to worry too hard about us. We're more than capable of crushing anyone who tries anything. We've been fighting our whole lives, this is nothing.

[hellosirs]

I'll, um... I'll certainly keep that in mind. For the future.

[ Angus is pointedly avoiding eye contact, because he might have already spoken the Null a little bit. Whoops? Luckily for him, they lost interest pretty quickly. ]

video;

[storyseeker]

I think they'd probably blow up anyone who tried something. But that's really sweet of you to look out for them.

[knockthemdead]

[Fuck. Another person laughing at him.]

I... thank you. I think. [He sighs. He's giving up, at this point.] You're not even a little intimidated? Just a tad? A smidgen?

[so_dark_a_road]

[ Well, maybe a little. But mostly, he's laughing with him. ]

Not intimidated, not even a little. But if I were one of those people who intended harm to Lup or Taako, I might be!

I'm one of Lup's friends, by the way. I haven't yet met Taaako. You seem very concerned about them, and I applaud you for your efforts to protect them.

[knockthemdead]

[He doesn't even know why exactly, but Merle acting psyched up is psyching him up. Tryhards 4 lyfe.]

Yes I will! Big time! Absolutely!

[What the fuck, the accent is slipping out. Krav is sounding more British by the second. Is this the anger??? Maybe he just has a lot of energy he needs to work out of his system??]

If you think you've seen intimidating- you, you imagine a gigantic golem made of very smashy rock! Who is also the grim reaper! And very pissed off!

i love kravitz so Much

[weedbgon]

[ holy shit merle forgot about the accent. he's dying. ]

Oh, you're pullin' out all the stops! All right! Assassins beware, he tried to turn me into a crystal and murder me one time! Very deadly.

[knockthemdead]

[He's aware that's probably the way Taako is viewing it, but... well, this was Kravitz's idea, and it works for him. Taako is right. They have much bigger issues at hand. Loathe as he is to-

Wait.


What.]

...Taako. Are you telling a joke in poor taste? Please?