[...Yeah, also not a great response, and only slightly more helpful to the point Lance is trying to get to than the last one was. Unfortunately he doesn't think he's going to be able to carefully lead there, so it might better to just say it.]

Although admirable that you would try to defend your friends if necessary, I was asking because an important part of anger management or avoiding obsessive behavior is recognizing when and how you control it. If, in an extreme situation, you can prevent yourself from acting on it, then you're able to do so at any time if you truly want to do so.

[Which is often encouraging to someone who truly feels out of control, because the might realize they have more control than they thought. It also, of course, calls out people using it as an excuse, but that's another issue.]