[ Yes, he is allowed! At least, so far as Curufin is concerned. Curufin too was raised in a rigid structure, although in some ways it was a kindly upbringing. He knows the reward and the price of such a system. He will always encourage Atem to feel and be whatever he himself thinks is best, even if that means to break out of the strictures. ]
Want to wrap this one and pick up a new thread?
Maybe. But you have a right to be yourself.