[ Technically, it really hasn't been that long since he slept with someone. He's only been stuck in this place a few weeks, and he'd had some fun with a local girl on a mission back home, just before getting here. But a few weeks is still longer than he usually goes without sex, so he's definitely missed physical intimacy, too. Now that they've started, it's like an itch being scratched and he's hooked, he wants this. She's fucking beautiful and she wants him, and hey, bonus points, he can make her feel really good for a little while, too. Take her mind off some shit. He's just a second away from letting her take his shirt off, when some sense of reason kicks in. It's rare for him, but it happens.
On the whole, he's made some questionable and fairly terrible choices in the past when it comes to sleeping with people. Nothing about Caedra herself really makes him doubt his choice to have sex with her right now, but rather, it's his own issue with what comes after. He can't remember the last time he slept with anyone and then actually had to see them again after the fact. If he sleeps with her now, then what? They're stuck in the same place for who the fuck knows how long. She's a nice girl, she even gets him on a level that's rare for him to find in other people. That's an alluring quality, no doubt, but for once, he's actually considering the consequences. Maybe she won't care about hooking up again later. Maybe his modus operandi of fucking and running will serve him just fine. But he can't be sure, and he doesn't honestly want to make things worse for her. She's been through enough. His motivations aren't entirely selfless, but mostly, he doesn't want to inadvertently heap any extra shit on her. He's a fucked up guy with weird attachment issues, no need to get her caught up in his disaster of a life.
So, despite really wanting to take good care of her like he said he would, he stops himself, kissing her one last time, but then pulling back with a heavy sigh. ]
Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, I'm sorry. I know what I said, but - we gotta stop. I have to.
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On the whole, he's made some questionable and fairly terrible choices in the past when it comes to sleeping with people. Nothing about Caedra herself really makes him doubt his choice to have sex with her right now, but rather, it's his own issue with what comes after. He can't remember the last time he slept with anyone and then actually had to see them again after the fact. If he sleeps with her now, then what? They're stuck in the same place for who the fuck knows how long. She's a nice girl, she even gets him on a level that's rare for him to find in other people. That's an alluring quality, no doubt, but for once, he's actually considering the consequences. Maybe she won't care about hooking up again later. Maybe his modus operandi of fucking and running will serve him just fine. But he can't be sure, and he doesn't honestly want to make things worse for her. She's been through enough. His motivations aren't entirely selfless, but mostly, he doesn't want to inadvertently heap any extra shit on her. He's a fucked up guy with weird attachment issues, no need to get her caught up in his disaster of a life.
So, despite really wanting to take good care of her like he said he would, he stops himself, kissing her one last time, but then pulling back with a heavy sigh. ]
Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, I'm sorry. I know what I said, but - we gotta stop. I have to.