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[adorabastard]

[ Hello, Hadriel. Have a handsome twenty-ish guy with a Ferelden accent (aka British) who clearly has no idea he's supposed to look at the camera. ]

Oh! Good, it worked. Ah. [ CLEARS THROAT. ] Hello there. I'm Alistair, a Grey Warden. I'm on your "phone" [ this is clearly a new word ] to ask you some questions.

Are you feeling a bit wild? Maybe a touch destructive? Do you want to punch things, and burn things, and generally destroy everything in sight? If so, let me know, and I will come ... er. Find you. For ... fun!

[ Yup. Fun. Totally NOT to stop the violence. NOPE. Definitely not. ]

You can reach me on this "phone." [ A pause. ] Right, now I push this, an—

[ Click! ]

Comments

[utulien_aure]

I'm no expert, Warden Alistair, but I believe you should turn your head a bit to the side. I've a fine view of your cheekbone, but I imagine that wasn't your intent.

You haven't been affected by the current revels?

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[adorabastard]

Ah. Right. Sorry about that!

[ Give him a minute to adjust. And hey, there's most of his face! He's still looking at the wrong spot, but it's better than it was. ]

Well, I was having a lovely time a few days ago. Now, not so much.

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[utulien_aure]

It's no trouble; in truth, the angle might have helped your performance. [Because that was a terrible lie, Alistair. Just plain awful.]

Things were going well until the brawling started? [Fingon gives a slightly amused grin and a shake of his head.] I've certainly attended worse parties.

[More soberly] But if you're looking for trouble, you'd best take someone with you. Do you have someone who would be willing to go?

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[leashed]

Are you attempting to incite destruction?

If so, I'll have to ask you to stop.

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[adorabastard]

No. Definitely not. Even if I wanted to, I wouldn't need to. It's already happening.

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[leashed]

I realize that. I want to prevent it from happening more.

[blessedmaiden]

Subtlety isn't your forte, is it?

Anyway, please don't try to make the situation less pleasant than it already is...

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[adorabastard]

What? Me? I'm very subtle. Extremely, even. In fact, I should get some sort of award for it. Maybe a big, colorful hat.

[ Then, seriously now: ]

Anyway. Making it worse is definitely not my intention.

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[blessedmaiden]

Well, if it's something colorful you'd like perhaps I'll be able to make you something green and bright. You know, to be discreet.

[She lets out a small sigh]

I'm afraid that whatever is going on is just another one of the local deities's... attempts to gain power, our power over it is absolutely limited. And trying to challenge others... would probably only bring more violence to the table.

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[farsighting]

( Oh look, another one that doesn't know how phones work. Quaint.

That might also make him kind of gullible, since it's hard to totally read his insincerity just looking at a part of his face. )

Hey! I TOTALLY LOVE VIOLENCE and fire :)

I'm in the ( quick where's the furthest place from her spire ) orchard! Chopping down trees and terrorizing forest wildlife.

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[adorabastard]

[ Excuse him while he's COMPLETELY DISTRACTED. ]

How did you make those little pictures? And what's the second one? It looks like a ... burning horse. Or something. I can't tell.

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[adorabastard]

[ Wait he got distracted. QUICKLY FOLLOWS IT WITH: ]

Really? Well, don't do that anymore. I mean, not until I get there! Then it'll be really, incredibly, wonderfully fun.

[ He needs to hurry and stop this! ]

[farsighting]

You should have an emoji app! Filled with other pictures and violence stuff! The last one is a garbage fire, which is actually more metaphorical than violent.

( Oops, get it together Elise. You're a violent warlord rampaging through a forest, not a teenage girl versed in Internet culture. )

There's plenty of tree burning to go around, so I'll be waiting~