[alright, so, yeah, he gets how shocking it is to see someone you knew cold and gone. he's seen it so many times, too many times, that he knows he's one more dead friend away from doing something drastic. even the thought of it makes him a little ill.
still, though, he didn't think it would've affected kaz that much. after all, the man was kind of... vindictive. even before their falling out, he had been like that. john thought, at the least, he would've derived some kind of pleasure from seeing big boss done in by his own foolish hand.] You come with conditions now?
[despite himself, john kind of smiles. more like a quirk of his lips, a huff of breath that might have been a fond sigh in another life.] I'm not going to say I won't die, but... I promise I won't be the one that causes it again.
[ It had come as just as much of a shock to Kaz when he hadn't reacted to the news of Big Boss' death with some sense of triumph. There's a number of different reasons why that hadn't been the case, and he doesn't need to lay them all out to anyone, not even himself. He doesn't think Snake has earned much in the way of explanations from him, given how he'd failed to provide that after his escape from the hospital.
He'd thought he was in on it, Kaz reminds himself, but it's not a good enough excuse for him.
Kaz spots that smile, but doesn't mirror it. He's pretty sure those muscles in his face have atrophied, replaced with frown lines. ] I came with a lot of conditions when we first met too, I'll remind you. [ No one can completely prevent his own death, so that promise is the best he can expect. Kaz nods, then straightens in his seat on the couch.
He feels the distinct lack of a clipboard, but anyway... ] So, let's talk strategy. I think we need to look into utilizing the skills of the other captives here. We're a stronger force than the gods in pure numbers. [ This is easier, something without emotion, something he's comfortable with. ]
[oh, he remembered. he remembered everything about how they met. but he doesn't dwell on it, as fond as the memories continue to be. this isn't the time and he doubts kaz really wants to hear about it.
where kaz straightens as he gets down to business, john uncrosses his arms, puts a hand on his hip as he relaxes. he continues to stand across from where miller is sitting, simply because he's on the only couch and john doubts he wants to be sitting close together. big boss can practically see the clipboard in his former second's hands.]
Great idea, but... Getting these people here to do anything together is like herding cats. Others, including me, have suggested banding together. Didn't happen. [never mind there was the matter of finding the gods. they were never at their temples, never anywhere near those who had been brought here.] And there's only going to be more.
[ Some people might have been annoyed by Big Boss' insistence to remain standing, but Kaz barely notices it. It had often been the same way back at Mother Base, thinking back on it. Snake has always been a man of action, waiting for the next excuse to hop into their chopper and head out on an op. Taking a load off isn't something that comes easily to him.
When Big Boss offers his pessimistic view, Kaz scoffs and shakes his head. ] That's probably because those people weren't going about it the right way. A lot of people volunteered to help with digging up those who were buried. They might need some pushing in the right direction, but if we get people split into teams and everyone understands what their jobs are, we could make some real progress here.
[ Actual escape might be a long way off, but learning how to work as one cohesive force would be a step in the right direction.
After a brief pause, Kaz tilts his head at Snake, his tone half-confusion and half-challenge. ] You were never the type to give up on anything that easy. What's with the defeatist attitude? [ It'd be great to get an admittance that Snake isn't as effective without him, but Kaz isn't delusional. ]
[john understands where kaz is trying to go with this, but people leaping to their friends and loved ones aid isn't exactly inspiring. after all, he knew the lengths to which people would go to for others they cared about. he was a prime example. did that mean they would risk themselves for people they had never or would never know?
john wasn't sure. could their fellow kidnappees band together for a cause they had no personal stake in? could they follow through on something that might not have an immediate reward after?
but he's not going to argue. let kaz have his chance to prove big boss wrong.] I guess I just don't have much experience with people who aren't military. [somewhat untrue. he had trained others to follow orders, but those budding fighters had wanted to learn. you can lead a horse to water, etc. etc.]
There are a few people I trust here. They would support your idea.
[ The way Kaz sees it, they all want the same thing in the end, and that's to get home. It would be stupid for them not to pool their efforts and do whatever it took to get back to where they came from.
(It's occurred to him that he doesn't have much waiting for him back there now that Skull Face has been put down, but he can't shake the fact that he needs to return all the same. He isn't done yet.)
At Snake's uncertainty about civilians, Kaz shrugs as best as he can. ] There's still a lot of fighting to be done here. I'm sure you'll figure it out.
[ Trust isn't something that Big Boss gives out easily, so that comment alone is enough to grab Kaz's interest. He leans forward and then takes a look around the living area. ] Do you have any paper? And something to write with?
If you just want their names, I can do better than that. [john motions for kaz to stay where he is, though he's sure the man isn't going to rush to jump after him. still, though, he doesn't want miller to know all of his secrets.
big boss makes his way to his bedroom and disappears into it for a minute to retrieve what he's looking for. since he's arrived in hadriel, john has made sure to keep detailed notes on anything of interest: including the people that lived there. he fishes a thick book from underneath his mattress and opens it: the bulk of the pages have been hacked away to create a storage area. there's dossiers on everyone he's come across (and some he's read up on using the network) in there, folded pages stacked carefully to create as much space as possible. he takes a couple, puts everything back, and walks back out to he living room.]
Here. Dossiers. [john places the pages down on the table. they're obviously torn from the backs of various books at the library, considering the different sizes and colors of each page.]
[ It's a little bit dramatic, the way that Big Boss disappears into his room without any real explanation, but Miller has to admit that he's used to that. He leans himself back against the couch, not quite getting comfortable but taking a look around the immediate area while he has the chance. There isn't much to it, but there are small touches that make this place undeniably Snake's. A backpack sitting near the door, no doubt packed with survival gear, for instance.
When Big Boss returns, Kaz leans forward to look over the carefully put-together pages, picking them up to place them into his lap instead. ] Someone's been doing their homework. [ Not that Kaz should expect any different. When Snake wants to be thorough about something, he really goes all the way. ]
Too bad there isn't a Xerox machine around here, huh? [ He'd like to look this all over in some more detail, but he knows taking the sheets back to his place with him probably won't fly. ]
[what's life without a little drama, kaz? besides, when have their lives ever really been considered stable and normal?]
Keep 'em. [john conveniently doesn't add that every single one of his dossiers has a copy. the originals are all in russian, with his personal thoughts scribbed here and there. the copies, what miller is currently holding in his hand, are in english and just cold, hard facts. after they had finally agreed to work together, john had spent the time transcribing everything.
because, why not? there was little else to do in his free time.] One of those is for Kerrigan, who you've already met. The others are for Commander Rutherford, Thom Rainier, and Commander Greystone.
[ Kaz's life hasn't been stable or normal since he decided to leave his homeland behind.
There's no way that Snake would have handed these over unless he had copies, so Kaz doesn't feel particularly bad about taking them. He nods and then tucks them into an inner pocket of his coat. He can look them over in more detail later and commit the names to memory. ]
I guess I shouldn't be surprised that you were drawn to other military types. It seems like there's enough of us here that we could try to add some order to this place, that's all I'm saying.
[ With everything, even the buildings, falling apart around them, they need to try and find structure somewhere. ]
Sure. One problem: you've got sporadic outside influence. [the stress of what could possibly happen next was always floating over all their heads. sometimes the gods' undue influence was easily ignored, allowing people to breathe a sigh of relief, but it wasn't often enough.
trying to establish a sense of order on already shaky foundations was difficult, to say the least. kind of like trying to train a dog that was constantly being distracted by a third party, for better or worse.]
But maybe you'll figure out how to deal with that.
Well, I probably can't stop these gods from messing with people's heads, but we can try to have some sort of response effort. Damage control, that kind of thing...
[ Maybe it is a fool's errand, and maybe Big Boss will end up getting to rub this all in his face and say he told him so. But Kaz has to at least try.
After a pause, he heaves out a sigh and looks to Snake more directly. ]
How about you? What are your plans?
[ Now that they've agreed to work in tandem instead of against each other, he should be allowed to know at least that much. ]
[he thinks for a moment, not really sure if he had any concrete plans. there were still too many unknowns when it came to the cave and the gods. every trip everyone had ever taken into the catacombs had ended with absolutely nothing to show for it. how could they formulate a plan for escape with odds like that?]
It doesn't matter. My plans are your plans from this point on. If you want to look at any of the intel I've built up, just ask.
[ Just like that, they're partners again. At least, that's the way that Big Boss phrases it. What he actually feels about it as harder to say. Due to that lack of emotional intelligence, Snake can be difficult to read.
Kaz has no idea how to feel at this point. He's the one who had suggested they work together in the first place, which at least grants him some amount of control over the situation. He's so tired of feeling weak for this man.
All the same, he nods. ] All right. Show me everything you've got.
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still, though, he didn't think it would've affected kaz that much. after all, the man was kind of... vindictive. even before their falling out, he had been like that. john thought, at the least, he would've derived some kind of pleasure from seeing big boss done in by his own foolish hand.] You come with conditions now?
[despite himself, john kind of smiles. more like a quirk of his lips, a huff of breath that might have been a fond sigh in another life.] I'm not going to say I won't die, but... I promise I won't be the one that causes it again.
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He'd thought he was in on it, Kaz reminds himself, but it's not a good enough excuse for him.
Kaz spots that smile, but doesn't mirror it. He's pretty sure those muscles in his face have atrophied, replaced with frown lines. ] I came with a lot of conditions when we first met too, I'll remind you. [ No one can completely prevent his own death, so that promise is the best he can expect. Kaz nods, then straightens in his seat on the couch.
He feels the distinct lack of a clipboard, but anyway... ] So, let's talk strategy. I think we need to look into utilizing the skills of the other captives here. We're a stronger force than the gods in pure numbers. [ This is easier, something without emotion, something he's comfortable with. ]
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where kaz straightens as he gets down to business, john uncrosses his arms, puts a hand on his hip as he relaxes. he continues to stand across from where miller is sitting, simply because he's on the only couch and john doubts he wants to be sitting close together. big boss can practically see the clipboard in his former second's hands.]
Great idea, but... Getting these people here to do anything together is like herding cats. Others, including me, have suggested banding together. Didn't happen. [never mind there was the matter of finding the gods. they were never at their temples, never anywhere near those who had been brought here.] And there's only going to be more.
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When Big Boss offers his pessimistic view, Kaz scoffs and shakes his head. ] That's probably because those people weren't going about it the right way. A lot of people volunteered to help with digging up those who were buried. They might need some pushing in the right direction, but if we get people split into teams and everyone understands what their jobs are, we could make some real progress here.
[ Actual escape might be a long way off, but learning how to work as one cohesive force would be a step in the right direction.
After a brief pause, Kaz tilts his head at Snake, his tone half-confusion and half-challenge. ] You were never the type to give up on anything that easy. What's with the defeatist attitude? [ It'd be great to get an admittance that Snake isn't as effective without him, but Kaz isn't delusional. ]
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john wasn't sure. could their fellow kidnappees band together for a cause they had no personal stake in? could they follow through on something that might not have an immediate reward after?
but he's not going to argue. let kaz have his chance to prove big boss wrong.] I guess I just don't have much experience with people who aren't military. [somewhat untrue. he had trained others to follow orders, but those budding fighters had wanted to learn. you can lead a horse to water, etc. etc.]
There are a few people I trust here. They would support your idea.
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(It's occurred to him that he doesn't have much waiting for him back there now that Skull Face has been put down, but he can't shake the fact that he needs to return all the same. He isn't done yet.)
At Snake's uncertainty about civilians, Kaz shrugs as best as he can. ] There's still a lot of fighting to be done here. I'm sure you'll figure it out.
[ Trust isn't something that Big Boss gives out easily, so that comment alone is enough to grab Kaz's interest. He leans forward and then takes a look around the living area. ] Do you have any paper? And something to write with?
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big boss makes his way to his bedroom and disappears into it for a minute to retrieve what he's looking for. since he's arrived in hadriel, john has made sure to keep detailed notes on anything of interest: including the people that lived there. he fishes a thick book from underneath his mattress and opens it: the bulk of the pages have been hacked away to create a storage area. there's dossiers on everyone he's come across (and some he's read up on using the network) in there, folded pages stacked carefully to create as much space as possible. he takes a couple, puts everything back, and walks back out to he living room.]
Here. Dossiers. [john places the pages down on the table. they're obviously torn from the backs of various books at the library, considering the different sizes and colors of each page.]
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When Big Boss returns, Kaz leans forward to look over the carefully put-together pages, picking them up to place them into his lap instead. ] Someone's been doing their homework. [ Not that Kaz should expect any different. When Snake wants to be thorough about something, he really goes all the way. ]
Too bad there isn't a Xerox machine around here, huh? [ He'd like to look this all over in some more detail, but he knows taking the sheets back to his place with him probably won't fly. ]
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Keep 'em. [john conveniently doesn't add that every single one of his dossiers has a copy. the originals are all in russian, with his personal thoughts scribbed here and there. the copies, what miller is currently holding in his hand, are in english and just cold, hard facts. after they had finally agreed to work together, john had spent the time transcribing everything.
because, why not? there was little else to do in his free time.] One of those is for Kerrigan, who you've already met. The others are for Commander Rutherford, Thom Rainier, and Commander Greystone.
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There's no way that Snake would have handed these over unless he had copies, so Kaz doesn't feel particularly bad about taking them. He nods and then tucks them into an inner pocket of his coat. He can look them over in more detail later and commit the names to memory. ]
I guess I shouldn't be surprised that you were drawn to other military types. It seems like there's enough of us here that we could try to add some order to this place, that's all I'm saying.
[ With everything, even the buildings, falling apart around them, they need to try and find structure somewhere. ]
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trying to establish a sense of order on already shaky foundations was difficult, to say the least. kind of like trying to train a dog that was constantly being distracted by a third party, for better or worse.]
But maybe you'll figure out how to deal with that.
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[ Maybe it is a fool's errand, and maybe Big Boss will end up getting to rub this all in his face and say he told him so. But Kaz has to at least try.
After a pause, he heaves out a sigh and looks to Snake more directly. ]
How about you? What are your plans?
[ Now that they've agreed to work in tandem instead of against each other, he should be allowed to know at least that much. ]
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It doesn't matter. My plans are your plans from this point on. If you want to look at any of the intel I've built up, just ask.
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Kaz has no idea how to feel at this point. He's the one who had suggested they work together in the first place, which at least grants him some amount of control over the situation. He's so tired of feeling weak for this man.
All the same, he nods. ] All right. Show me everything you've got.