Accidental Video; Breakdown (Backdated to the 10th)

[ushahin]

[The first thing that is seen when the camera turns on is one bright, beady, avian eye. Fetch has been watching this device for months, and while he may not understand entirely how it works, he's out of options right now. He stares and pecks at it for a moment, then grumbles out a throaty Cawww! For anyone who understands the language of the birds, it's basically a cry for help, for he's become very worried about his companion. He picks up the device in his claws and turns it around.

The view is of the house Ushahin and Shadow share, but it looks as though someone has completely wrecked it. Things are broken on the floor, flung all over the place, the shades are drawn, leaving the room in shadows, and there in the corner the half-man is curled up, his back against the wall with his knees in front of him. His voice is hoarse as though he's been talking for hours.]

Gone. All gone. I should have known. Nothing ever lasts. They leave me, all of them, no matter what. Yes, this is my fate. Of course. That's the pattern Calanthrag showed me.

[For anyone who ever wondered what Ushahin meant when he said he wasn't entirely sane, this is what he was referring to. Those moments that happen where he entirely breaks down, sinking into the madness that clouded his thoughts. Though it is hard to see in the gloom, there is a dark helm right next to Ushahin's figure. This is the Helm of Shadows, a mighty piece of magic that amplifies the powers of a psychic. He traces one of his long fingers over it.]

I can't stand it. Not any longer.

[Fetch seems to know something is coming, and for the first time in his life, he defies his friend. Flying at him, he tries to get him to stop this course of action, trying to claw and peck at him. But it is too late. Ushahin's mind is made up. He bats away the raven and places the helm on his head.]

They will all know what it feels like.

[Then, his powers amplified by the helm, he broadcasts all that he feels to the residents of Hadriel. It won't affect all of them, but it will reach quite a few. There's pain, madness, despair, fear, and everything else that the Dreamer has experienced over the past year of his long life. Losing his best friend had just been the tipping point. The experience won't last for long, only a minute at the most, but it is a minute of sheer agony. When he is finished, he wrenches the helm off, and tosses it to the side. His eyes close, and while he isn't asleep, his strength is spent. At least the madness in his mind has been quieted.]

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[hasitsthorns]

[ The video startles her to begin with but what's a direct result of his mad ramblings and non-cohesive mental state is an even bigger shock. It isn't the first time Rose has had her head messed with though she hopes it'll be the last. It's been too long that now her mind has been a warzone without outisde assistance. She is someone intimately familiar with suffering but to have it thrust upon her so suddenly, so forcefully is another thing entirely.

Still. For as agonizing as it is, Rose isn't worried about herself in this moment. She never seems to be in any moment, really, but especially not now. Through tears burning her eyes and head pounding, the blond sets off towards his abode without time to take care of herself beyond recognizing that she was alright enough to head out. It doesn't take her long to sniff out her friend. He has such a unique scent, after all. ] Ushahin, [ she says, outside his home. ] Let me in, dude.

[ushahin]

[Ushahin doesn't even hear her, so sunk back into misery, insanity, and despair as he is. But Fetch does. The little raven flutters over to the door. Fortunately, the handle is one of the long ones that's tripped by applying pressure rather than a round doorknob that needs to be turned to open.

It opens and there is a very large black raven on the other side, peering around at Rosie, and grumbling all sorts of things in the back of his throat. He just wants his friend back to normal. Please help?]

[hasitsthorns]

Thanks, dude, [ she coos to the raven that gives her entrance. ] Let's see what I can do.

[ Being part animal herself, she can definitely sense the distress in the poor bird's tone. While Rose isn't about to make any promises she can't keep, she... She wants to help Ushahin if she can. So she shadows through the home until she finds him. Her voice is quiet, gentle, ]

One helluva way to get our attention, man.

[ and of course she has to try and make light of the situation because she's Rose. ]

[ushahin]

[Fetch follows her at a distance, waiting to see what she will do. He's worried about how Ushahin might react, considering what had just happened a few minutes ago. Hopefully, her mind is up for anything.

Ushahin has his head sunk down onto his knees, the picture of abject misery. He looks up at Rosie with eyes red from crying and a voice hoarse from talking to himself for hours.]

Did I hurt anyone?

[He's been trying so hard not to over the past few months, but as with everything he tries to do, it's one step forward, two steps back.]

[hasitsthorns]

[ Oh, Ushahin. Rose thinks this but doesn't actually say it. He doesn't need her pity right now. He needs her help. ]

Depends on your definition of hurt, [ she hums thoughtfully. ] Gave me a pretty headache, I'll admit that much.

[ Had drowned her temporarily in the deepest, darkest recesses of her own sorrow. ]

What happened?

[ushahin]

[Ushahin slips his hand into Rosie's, grateful for the small bit of contact. It helps to ground his head, maddened as it is by loss and grief.]

I just couldn't stand it any longer. I've lost so much. It's been a full year to the day since I lost my home, my family, and my god. And then to lose Shadow here.... [Hs voice breaks and he nearly starts to cry again.] ...it was too much to bear any longer.

[hasitsthorns]

[ It's a comfort to her, too, honestly... He might be distressed, but he's still in there - still her Ushahin, after all this - and she can deal with that.

He isn't the only one lately to be shaken by loss. ]

Well, I can't blame ya' for that, [ she offers, pitiful huff of a half-laugh escaping her. ] Feels like... feels like I've lost a lot of people lately too. But, hey, you still got me. I'm not gonna promise I'll always be here, I can't. But I am for now at least.

[ushahin]

[He rubs his eyes with his free hand. They're red, sore, and stinging from too many salt tears pouring out of them.]

I suppose there is some small comfort in that. It is just a terrible to thing to know that I have lived so long, lost so much, and will continue on for much longer with my burdens to bear.

[hasitsthorns]

[ If Rose still had her soothing ice abilities, she'd use them to help the headache no doubt pounding his skull, the fire in his sinuses from crying. She's been in his position. She remembers crying so much it felt like her tear ducts might be permanently dry. She remembers the ache in her soul from it all, hollowly painful. ]

That kind of comes with the territory of longevity, I think. If it means anything, I think... I like you more because of it, y'know? So many long-lived people stop caring. They don't see the point anymore, when everything is so fleeting in comparison to them.

But you still do. You make attachments and you love people and, yeah, it hurts but. It's worth it, too.

[ushahin]

I suppose you are right. I've seen those who have become numb to everything.

[The Ellyl of his world were that way. Beautiful and eternal, but with nothing warm beneath the surface, not even towards their fellow Ellyl. They were stagnant and destined to die out without any love for their fellow races.]

It turns them callous, cold, and cruel. That's no way to be.

[hasitsthorns]

It's not, [ she's quick to agree. ]

Because then you do things like try to kill your own daughter. Purge her from your bloodline because she's a black mark upon it, like my father did.

You're not like him. And I'm glad you're not.