hadriel | Dirty Laundry [video]

[Seel's at the speakeasy, a glass of something very alcohol next to him, having run out of booze at home. It's obvious he's been there for a while as the mound of ash and spent cigarette butts is piled high. There's nothing quite like having to kill your best friend to really hammer home just how much your life sucks. This time at least, Seel's spreading the wealth. Be thankful he doesn't have dirt on the rest of you.

His words aren't exactly properly enunciated after that much alcohol, but at least cloud of smoke around him was dissipating into the rest of the speakeasy.]

I hear Pell's been here a while. You all probably think of him as a nice, upstanding member of your delinquent little society you've built here. I'm here to set the record straight. Nice people don't knock up their one night stands and then try to hide and pay off their dirty little secret. Your marriage is the most disgusting affront I've ever seen and your consort is a manipulative, conniving bitch. Cause that's what happens when you knock up gold digging rock stars. You marry them and they make your life hell and glue diamonds to their nails.

And then to top it all off you invite Cal to become Tigron with you? That's right, ladies and gentlemen. Pell's King of the World. And apparently Calanthe too--because all you need to do to get promoted is to become a lunatic, and a murderer. That's exactly who I would want to be in charge of things.

Oh, and Pell? While he thought you were dead, your beloved was knocking boots with Terzian. You know, the stone hard killer who liked to eat people and collected vats of blood? Their child looks exactly like him.

The rest of you? Pell has a fetish for blondes. Anyone thinking about bleaching their hair? Don't.

Anyone have any more cigarettes?

[/end video]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Please forgive me. I became somehar last night I thought I had put behind me. I realize you're not the har I spoke of, and you're not the har I currently call a friend. But I still respect you and what your opinion of me matters.

[Seel's got an open can of something he hopes is edible in the background. Because he honestly isn't sure. The har can't boil water much less put together a meal.]

You're still my Tigron. I'm sorry. I realize my words probably don't matter much right now.

You are not forgiven.

[ His voice is hard and angry, his expression closed off. The word 'Tigron' doesn't even mean anything to him, he never should have accepted Seel based on the fact that his future self did. On Seel's word, when his words also spoke of things like this. ]

This isn't how I should have found out certain things, and to say I did them to the whole city? Is basically a lie. I don't know that person you spoke of. You didn't show me any of this for a reason, I'm assuming. A reason you should have remembered last night.

Which you is the real one? How should I know?

[Seel visibly twitched. Pell looked too much like the Tigron he would grow into. His heart pounded, looking cowed and subservient. His actions had just been a reminder of how much he could not be trusted with power. Thiede had placed him well, consort instead of leader, able to give advice but not act on it. Here, his balance, his leash so to speak, was gone. Swift's comforting, balancing influence left back home, and in it's place two Tigron's who did not yet wear the mantle.]

I know. I handled myself poorly. I wish I knew who the real me was. I wish I could say this was it, but I'm not sure.

[ Pell sighs. He doesn't soften, just reaches up to press a hand to his face with frustration. He isn't even sure why he called back at this point. What could Seel say that would make him forgive so quickly? He was still doing damage control. ]

Maybe call when you figure that out. Because the har who came out last night isn't someone I like. Isn't someone I want to be around.

[All Seel knew how to do was damage control. That was what he was good at, besides pissing people off and building societies. He knew how to try and say the right things, but this? He wasn't sure who you were at the moment, he didn't know what to say. While he be sincere, with Seel, would it last?]

[Still hearing that Pell, this Pell, didn't like him, well that hurt. He knew this wasn't the same Pell, his Pell, with thirty years of experience on his belt but it was still him. Younger, more innocent. The Pell who would have never dared work hand in hand with Lianvis.]

I'm not sure how. But I'll do my very best.

[An order from his Tigron, even if he wasn't quite adept yet at ordering hara around. He'd try.]

[ Oh come on, Seel, who would like someone who spread shit like this to the city at large? To Pell alcohol doesn't make you someone else, which means that this Seel still thinks so terribly of the things he's going to do. Of him. They can't actually be friends if that's true. ]

Just. It's not possible to hold that much hate for someone and consider them a friend.

[No, the difference is that as far as Seel was concerned, the older Pell wouldn't have let him. Certainly wouldn't have cut him lose. He was a dangerous weapon, with too much information, and weapons needed to be controlled.

All the alcohol did was remove his filter. It's not Pell he hates. Maybe one day he'll be able to express it.]

I don't hate you Pell. I could never hate you. Not you. It shouldn't have come out like this. I should have showed you everything when you asked. Now, you know bits and pieces and it's colored by the drunken rantings of a har you don't know. Let me show you the whole thing. When your ready.

It's not as bad as I made it out to be.

You are a dear friend to me Pell. Sometimes my mouth just gets in the way.

If you did this to hurt Cal, the takeaway wasn't about him.

[ Not that he's happy Seel announced to the cave at large that his chesna was a murderer. Even if Cal didn't care, thought of himself that way. Pell cares.

He wants to turn Seel down flat, say he doesn't want to see any more... but the truth is he sort of needs to know that he's not the horrible person it sounds like he's become. That he really is himself, like he had started to think from the first time they shared breath. He'd just started to think that maybe things would turn out okay, even knowing that Seel was curating the memories. Now it sounded like a nightmare all over again. ]

I'll think about it. About whether I should know more or just ignore what you've told me entirely.

I know. I realize that now. I....chose my words and subject poorly. You have no reason to trust me Pell. I know that. I won't hide things from you--bar one incident I would prefer to keep to myself, you may look, take what you will from my memories. I wont censor, if that's what you want.

[Life would have been so much easier if he just kept his mouth shut, but as usual, Seel seemed to have foot in mouth syndrome, and Swift was no where to be found to help. Or rather, yell at him, tell him how horribly he'd acted and forgiven him after freezing him out for a week or two.

Seel bowed, inclining his head respectfully. Pell might not be Tigron yet, but he was too Seel. He had to make this up to him. Somehow.]

Thank you. For considering.

I don't know what I want yet, Seel. It's a difficult subject to start with. It was difficult even with Flick when he was here and he's my best friend. Just give me some time.

[ He doesn't want to be too harsh, since he actually believes the apology, but won't give Seel false hope that he'll be over this anytime soon either. ]

Be safe.

[ And with that he hangs up, staring down at his phone afterwards. He has a lot to think about. ]

Dirty Laundry [video]

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