hadriel | 06

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06 | Video

[ It's obvious this is being filmed in one of the many temples, all cool hard stone behind her, and, given the subject matter of the video, most likely to be Hope's. Sharon does not look pleased. Furious might be the better descriptor but it's a calm sort of fury. There are a few spatters of dark blood on her cheeks, dried and cracking; old. She has no wounds just stains and memories. She leans in towards the lens and whispers: ]

So, which one of you fuckers killed me? [ Her killer could reply, he might not, but she won't stop until she finds him and returns the favor. ]

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[What she says about getting married and having a family and a normal life, and not being able to reach that future anywhere, is something he understands on a few different levels. On one, it hadn't been true; what happened hadn't ruined his life, and although it had never been exactly normal he'd still grown up, went to school, gotten a job and met people he loves. On the other, it is true; he's never going to get married, he won't see his son be born, he won't reach his thirtieth birthday.

Suddenly he wonders what can he really tell her after all.

But he takes a deep breath, tries to keep his emotions under control, and refocuses. He can tell her the truth, which is--like most things--neither all bad or all good.]

I don't know. We don't exactly have magic or powers in my world, at least as far as most people are aware of, and without knowing more about how yours works I can't give you any answers for certain. All I can say is that the more control you have over your emotions and how the affect you, the more you will likely control your power instead of the other way around.

[And he can try to help her with that part, if she wants it; if she can gain control maybe then she truly could use her anger and hurt in a way that benefits and protects her, and only in that way, instead of it consuming her at all times. On the other matters...]

Wanting a future you can't have is--

[His voice cuts out briefly, an indication that he isn't keeping as firm a control over his emotions as he's trying to, but he tries again a moment later and continues.]

It isn't wrong, but it's also... It'll prevent you from seeing the options and choices you do have. It also might turn out that it's not as impossible as you think, but even if it is that doesn't mean you can't have a different life that is just as good. No matter how hopeless it might seem right now.

[It doesn't take years of study in psychology, or even personal experience, to be able to guess she's depressed and probably suffering from other trauma-related issues that make it difficult to see any sort of hope for the future.]

[ Lance doesn't understand and Sharon finds that she can't really blame him. There are few people here that can, really. Mello comes close but even she can't explain to him that her powers aren't really her own but whatever is in her. She's just the cocoon and one day that cocoon will shed and the thing that comes forth will have the real control.

Sometimes, she wonders if she should find a way a shed that cocoon; eliminate Sharon and Alessa and become the thing she's always meant to. She wouldn't save the world or save people, but at least it would all end.

She shakes those thoughts from her head, her throat tight with fear and ucertainty. ]

I get you're trying to help but... You have to understand, the world I come from, everyone is my enemy. The police, the FBI, the strangers on the street. The things that watch me between our realities. My situation is hopeless, no matter how much I try and I change it. I made myself a little girl and put myself up for adoption just to try and escape.

This is as far away as I've ever gotten and even now, I know it's hopeless. I've accepted that. But hopeless doesn't mean I'm done or out. It just means I have to find other reasons to continue on.

[She's right in that he doesn't understand; this isn't the sort of thing he has any experience with, and some of the things she says make no logical sense to him even if he might have some idea of the situation. So he's following as well as he can, trying to match up general scenarios to those that are similar enough and he does have experience with, but that can only go so far.

So although he feels for her so much that it hurts and he wants to be able to do something for her, he doesn't argue regarding the part about her world; he doesn't know if her view of things is skewed or whether that is truly the case, and debating her on it when he has no real knowledge to speak from is not only pointless but actively won't help.

The other part, though, about being here--]

Why do you believe it's hopeless here too?

[It's a genuine question, not a psychology trick to make her think about the subject; he's pretty sure at this point that she has a reason, and he can't discuss this with her without knowing what that reason is.]

Haven't you noticed? This place is a constant rotation of emotional suffering. One week, we're good, recovering however we can; next week, I may want to murder the people I care about; after that, I'll be forced to go through things I've gone through once and should never have to go through again.

It's kind of hard not to see everything as hopeless when that's all that you've ever had.

[He hesitates several seconds at that, because he understands it--especially that last part--better than he can properly explain, but without doing so his responses run the risk of sounding like platitudes instead of advice. And, ultimately, he doesn't want to get into things, as much as he wants to help her.

So he eventually settles on something of a compromise.]

I can't exactly tell you that this place isn't terrible, especially since I've only been here for a few of the difficult events. But that isn't all there is here, either, although I understand seeing that is easier said than done.

[And again, he says that part from experience.]

But just telling you that isn't going to help, especially not right now. At the risk of sounding like I'm lecturing, you should get some rest.

[Mental rest more than physical, at this point. They can resume this conversation later, when she's had some more time.]

[ Sharon laughs bitterly. Get some rest. ]

Yeah, yeah, I'll get some rest. Maybe the nightmares will be better than the reality.

That's not unheard of.

[Not by far. And he wants to add that he could probably help with that issue, even if she doesn't really believe any of the others can be fixed, but thinks he's probably pushed his luck far enough already. Besides, he's pretty drained himself from this conversation.]

[ Sharon laughs, it's a deep guttural sound, verging on unnatural. ]

Not when you're a precog but a girl can dream.

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06 | Video

[Video--Private] probably a good idea tbqh

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