[text] there is water at the bottom of the ocean

[nonscriptum]

[Originally, it started out as a well-meaning adventurous foray for personal edification, yadda, yadda, yadda. Time moves so slowly in Hadriel that Nate has been clawing at ways to occupy it, and since he's exhausted the library of any texts that aren't in gibberish it stands to reason he might seek personal fulfillment elsewhere. After waking up with the usual restlessness he considered the wide expanse of lakeside real estate out his window and thought, yeah, a swim sounds nice.

The swim was less than nice.

Several minor explosions and some (honestly) impressive spell-work later sees him soaked to the skin but otherwise unscathed outside of minor lacerations on one arm - there's really only so much you can do when trying to evade a shark with two fucking heads - scribbling quickly in a notebook with the sort of fervor reserved for the truly mad. Lake-adjacent, blessedly on the shore with a towel slung around bare shoulders, he quickly snaps a photograph of his work with his phone and hits SEND TO ALL.

The message is as follows:]

does anyone know what the hell this is
i found it at the bottom of the lake

Attachment: [monster.jpg]

p.s. don't go swimming in the lake

Comments

[pocketspa]

['It was a good idea, at first' is the thought that gets Taako into 99% of the trouble in his life. Whether that's Lup busting his door down with some half-baked idea, or a joke gone wrong, or something just going very differently halfway through, Taako entirely understands the best laid plans going to utter and complete shit.

But hey, this is unexpected.

As Taako currently sits, he's lying on his bed in the twins' shared bedroom in spire 4, the floating bunks keeping him high above the mess that litters their floor. He's been updating his spellbooks, piecing through memories he now has more clearly, thinking back to some of the more wicked things he managed to pull from a hundred years of study. Thankfully for Nate, one of them is going to be exactly what he needs.

He grins, texting back. He's already gotten the hang of that 'lay-on-his-stomach-and-type' thing. Look how modern.]

at home babe
whats up
sounds urgent whod you piss off

[nonscriptum]

[Nate pulls a shirt on in the hallway and grimaces at the cling-film sensation of dry fabric on damp skin. Don't you hate the way the water makes your jeans all squidgy? is one Harry Flynn-ism he's never going to forget.]

first, i resent the suggestion i pissed someone off and not the other way around

second, did you move? i'm literally standing in front of your door on the third floor right now

[pocketspa]

[He outright claps a hand over his mouth to stop a howling peal of a laugh from emitting over it, still snickering as he texts back.]

listen i know the company i keep and that company is "people who look before they leap and then i have to save them" its whatever

but also oh man
oh babe
i dont live there
im in spire 4 i just wanted to see if youd actually carry me all the way and tuck me into my fake bed
you got the fifth star for doing it btw i feel like i didnt mention that before

and hey! now im ordering delivery again
its still you!
congrats you were so efficient

anyway yeah spire 4 second floor room uhhhhhhh 201
i mean the room doesnt matter its the whole floor
cant miss it

[nonscriptum]

[Nate can't argue that disaster tends to follow him around like a persistent shadow, because it does, but this new revelation feels like a real kick to the sack.]

ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME

[He doesn't bother adding anything else. It isn't worth it to argue over something that he'd volunteered for at the time, even if that act of mild heroism was pretty heavily abused, and Taako better pray he actually lives on the second floor of a building on the other side of the city or Nate's throwing him into the lake next.

When he arrives at 201 he's still damp, but at least he isn't dripping. Nate slams his knuckles against the door a couple times and tries to look Mad™.]

[pocketspa]

[This time he does actually just burst out laughing, openly, rapidly texting back.]

noooooope
see u soon bubbleh ;)

[He shuffles to the front of his bed, looking down to Lup on the floor.]

Hey Lup! Guess who just ordered a hot dude direct to our doorstep. Gotta say, didn't expect this place to have that kinda perk.

[The knock doesn't come too long after, and he starts shimmying down the rope ladder to head to the door.]

You want in on this you better come with.

[restinglichface]

[Lup's spent the whole conversation in front of the twin's shared mirror, riffling through Taako's extensive wardrobe to find something new to wear. While Taako texts, she's been draping shirts and skirts against her body, turning this way and that, then flinging it over her shoulder straight to floor when it doesn't met her immediate approval. It's only when she hears Taako laughing that Lup's found something she likes. Wiggling into a pair of cutoffs, she turns just as he's descending to the floor.

Naturally, without a clue to who he's been talking with, she follows.]

You sure you're not getting catfished again? Because the ratio of hot to not here is pretty low. [So far, with some exception, she hasn't been very impressed.

But she trails along anyway, and when the pair open the front door, Lup has her elbow on Taako's shoulder, leaning in close to greet their visitor.]

lord help me

[nonscriptum]

[Nate is a little pissed.

He hiked halfway across the city in wet jeans to ask a favor that he's pretty sure he's owed now given the fact that he carried someone who was faking ill health just for shits and giggles.

When the door is flung open the party inside is treated to a slightly-damp looking treasure hunter on the mat, hair sticking to his forehead, shirt sticking to his chest, frown sticking to his face. He raises an eyebrow slowly, because of course they would be rooming together. They're about as thick as he and Sam were. Are. Whatever.]

I've got one order of the "you're an asshole" with a side of "screw you."

no gods can save you now

[pocketspa]

[To Taako's entire credit, he was feeling pretty shitty when he peeled himself off the floor of the coliseum. Totally slept like a rock that night after he attended to all the feelsy shit he needed to in the interim. But he could've handled it. Once Nate picked him up, it just became about taking it as far as he could possibly go.

So when he speaks, Taako just grins, eyes traveling quickly up and down his body, before he just... reaches out. Puts his hand right there on his pec. It's still kinda wet, like his hair. God. Fantastic.]

Fuckin' exquisite, my dude.

[Alright well now that's over. He drops his hand and actually addresses the question.]

Lup, did you order anything like that, 'cause all I see on the menu tonight is beefcake.

[restinglichface]

[And there's Mr. Exception himself.

Lup's grin goes sharper when Taako takes it upon himself to feel up the other man, her eyes raking over Nate's damp body before letting loose a low, impressed whistle.]

Now that is one choice cut of beef, bro. Hadriel delievery really hits it out of the park.

[With an arm still propped up on her brother, Lup tears her eyes off of Nate's body to shoot the man a playful look. Try as she might to shove down the fake memories that Hadriel forced on her, Lup's easy friendship with Nate was one of the few she didn't completely mind.] Just can't stay away, huh? Well, we do pull focus.

[nonscriptum]

[Nate, to his credit, remains stock-still, a rock of righteous indignation, as Taako leans in and touches his chest. He can take insults and degradation on the daily - although he's experienced substantially less since he went legal - but the objectifying is a little...

Well, it's not unusual. But it's still making him feel put-upon, and Lup isn't helping.]

I'm flattered. [Not entirely a lie.] But I need some help with a- ...diving project.

[pocketspa]

[Ugh c'mon Nate swoon into his arms or something. But hey, Taako can appreciate a driven man. He lifts a hand to his chin to tap thoughtfully on his lips.]

That where you've been all day? What with all the, uh, wet hair and crunchy pants?

[He can tell from a distance those things aren't drying well.]

What're you lookin' for, buddy?

[restinglichface]

[Taako may be a little focused on the state of Nate's pants (hard to blame him), but Lup visibly perks up at the mention of the man's diving project. As much as she may love to sort through their combined wardrobe to try and sneak away some of the best pieces for herself, the cabin fever of not having something significant to do with her time has begun to set in.

So, without even knowing the full details, Lup already feels ready to jump in to this adventure. In fact, she's so ready that she isn't even throwing down her usual 'what's in it for us'.]

Lay down the deets, my man. If it involves watching you go for a swim, we're already in.

[nonscriptum]

Waterproof lights.

[It's the first thing that makes it out of his mouth, even if he knows his priorities should be bigger than just being able to see what intends to rip him open and chew on his insides. Nate shifts uncomfortably - partly because of the wet pants thing, partly because it feels weird soliciting help outside someone's doorway like a vacuum salesman - and better explains:]

...I wanted to see what was at the bottom of the lake, but I got about twenty feet down and saw a shark the size of a school bus. And a shark with tentacles. I can't get to the bottom if I can't reach it without the local fauna taking a bite out of me, and there might be something down there.

You're the only people I know who might be willing to be an- uh, explosive diversion.

[With the kind of naive purity that no thirty-nine year-old adult man should be able to employ, Nate executes the most hangdog look he can manage.]

I need help.

[pocketspa]

[Taako listens when he actually speaks, mind already reeling through spells he knows, contrasting with the experience. But it's when he actually looks pleading, he can't stop his mouth from breaking into a wide, wide smile.]

Buddy, you're thinkin' like, way too small here. We could literally just all be sharks. Hell, did you go down there just holdin' your breath, because that's super small time, my guy.

[He's a transmutation wizard! He turns things into other things! Focus on the big picture, Nate!]

Seriously. I can fuckin' turn you into anything you want, man. You could be bioluminescent. Think fancier.

[restinglichface]

[Shit, Nate works that kicked puppy look pretty well. What the hell is he doing wasting it on them? If Lup didn't have magic at her disposable and could pull off that doe-eyed look as well as he could, she'd be grifting every sucker in Hadriel for all they had.

Sure, Taako's way of doing things was pretty fun, but alternatively--]

Or I could just blow up the sharks. Which kind of sounds like, no offense, babe, but way more fun. [She can't rock the turning into animal thing like Taako can. Somehow, he makes gills work.]

Can you imagine a fucking fireball blasting that stupid shark out of the water? It doesn't stand a chance.

[nonscriptum]

...okay, fireballs and transformations, that's... [The weirdest dive kit he's ever come up with.] ...a start.

[It isn't that the temptation to become a shark for a short period of time isn't extremely persuasive, but Nate doesn't want to go into hostile waters wearing the body of something he does not know how to control. Or. However "transmutation" magic works. They need to finagle something more efficient - much like breaking into a world-renowned museum, this is going to require a certain percentage of relative expertise.

Nate shifts, folding his arms over his chest.]

You got anything that'll just help me breathe underwater? Add some lights and I'm covered, I can get down there myself, but the explosions might keep Jaws 1 through 12 from turning me into fish food.

[pocketspa]

[Now it's Taako's turn to make a face close to a pout. Wow, everyone around here stifling his good goddamn time.]

What part about being a shark isn't fun?

[Seriously, Lup he takes offence to that. But he rolls his eyes and drops it. Whatever, he can go back and do the shark stuff whenever he wants.]

But yeah, I can totally do that, natch. Water breathing's easy. And I guess I can put together a light show for you and figure something out for fighting sharks. Taako, he does it all.

[He adds a little jazz hands display to the end of that, just for emphasis.]

[restinglichface]

[Lup: 1, Taako: 0.

There's an attempt to hide the incredibly smug grin that tugs at Lup's mouth when Nate agrees to her plan over Taako's, but as far as rolls go, it's an absolute critical fail. The elbow resting on Taako's shoulder drops as his sister's posture straightens, the woman stretching her arms out in front of her before cracking her knuckles. Just to rub a little salt in the would, she reaches over to ruffle Taako's hair.]

It's okay, Taako. We'll do your whole fish thing next time.

[She turns that too-toothy grin of hers on Nate now, jabbing a thumb over her shoulder.] Pop a squat, my man. We'll need to prep for this. [Not prep magic, of course, they just need some sweet ass outfits.]