voice

[am_i_a_monster]

I'm Abigail. I'm new here. Well, new-ish. I think I've been here around three weeks.

[She paused for a moment, not wanting to say too much about her hallucinations from the stings, or the days after when she was convinced she had become mentally ill and everything was a hallucination. She has the worry that she's inherited something from her father, something seriously wrong with her and this place is so strange that a part of her still thinks she's lost her mind.]

I wasn't myself for a while. I thought I had this other life and was back in high school. And I was taking piano lessons too, which was cool. I was learning to play the harpsichord before I came here.

[She paused again.]

I haven't used social media in a while.

[She wasn't sure how long she was in hiding in her old life. It's strange to be interacting publicly again.]

I guess I just want to say hi. So, hi.

Comments

[am_i_a_monster]

It makes it hard to get into bed too. Nightmares can be really messed up.

But at least it has to better than knowing that the day's gonna suck.

[noctyourking]

Nightmares... right.

I can't imagine we can take this torture for extended periods of time. Have you been having nightmares since coming here?

[am_i_a_monster]

We can find ways to live with anything. And yeah, but I had nightmares before I came here.

[noctyourking]

[ He's not sure on those words, but.. they touch him.. ] Are they different here? The nightmares?

[am_i_a_monster]

[She hesitates for a moment before answering. The only real difference is that now, in addition to the nightmares about her past, she has nightmares that her father will show up here.]

There are some little differences, but they're mostly the same.

[noctyourking]

How have you been able to cope.. with the nightmares? Do you find any comfort here, any relief?

[am_i_a_monster]

I have a couple of people here that are from my home. They help me.

[noctyourking]

Good... good. [ He sighs and closes his eyes before a hand comes up to rub at his temple. ] I have nightmares too.

[am_i_a_monster]

Do you have anyone you can trust enough to talk to about them?

[noctyourking]

Yeah, ... I do. [ His dad was here, but he didn't necessarily share those nightmares with him. He wrote them down however, in a journal. ] But for a while there.. it wasn't too bad.. despite the lie.. this false town, this Pleasantville, we all were a part of.. it wasn't too bad..

Except I wouldn't ever want to forget who I am or where I came from.. permanently.

[am_i_a_monster]

It wasn't bad at all. It was nice, being someone else.

There are things I'd like to forget.

[noctyourking]

Did you forget those things.. being someone else?

[am_i_a_monster]

Yes, I did. It was like none of the bad things ever happened.

[noctyourking]

Mm. [ He wondered then, if they could ever truly appreciate the good without the bad and even if they were head deep into this delusion if there was something still attached to them all that reminded them of the bad. Enough to really appreciate the normalcy of this good. ] What a tangible dream.. we were in together.

[am_i_a_monster]

Too bad those things never last.