hadriel | twelfth; voice (live through this and you won't look back)

[The dust has settled, the suns have risen, and Nick survived, sure, but she's struggling with what survival in this instance means. So she's turned to her old trusty coping mechanism - alcohol, an emergency bottle she'd stashed away for just in case. She's not completely trashed by the time she starts talking, just drunk enough to feel as fragile as necessary to talk about herself with strangers about things she doesn't normally open up about.]

You know, I've been thinkin' ... now that we actually got time to think again ... how many of y'all fought in wars before? 'Cause we don't really got wars where I'm from. I mean - there are wars, sure, but nothin' like what happened here. Not anywhere near me, anyway - the last war that happened in my country was like, a hundred and some years ago. Wars are somethin' you read about in history books, or watch movies about, or you see on the TV, in the news, happening in other countries so far away you don't even really know where they are on the map.

[A pause; the slosh of liquid against glass as she takes another swig.]

I, uh - I grew up in a real small town in the middle of nowhere, and a lot of the kids in my school had dreams of joining the military and fighting to defend freedom or whatever, but that was never me. I didn't have dreams of doing anything with my life. Hell, I figured I'd be dead by the time I got as old as I am now.

[A whole twenty-seven years old. Practically a grandma, right?]

But I - I had this friend I made here, a while back - he's gone now, but he'd lived for like, a thousand years. He'd been through wars, personally, and we had this mind-link thing happen once, on accident, when Confusion first turned up. I got to see what war was like, through his eyes. It was every bit as awful as the history books and TV reports and movies will have you believe, but ... it still wasn't anything like what happened here.

[She misses Ushahin, even though he was gone by the time she returned. She misses Chris, too, now that he's disappeared. She inhales a shaky breath, and it's not enough to keep her voice from wavering.]

I don't - sorry, I don't really know what I'm doin' here, y'know? I'm just a bartender from Chicago - I used to sing in a band. I'm not a fighter. I'm not a hero.

[And then, muffled, through her hand, before she kills the feed:] ... This is stupid.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Is that like, code for something? Or do you actually run around with one of those - what d'ya call 'em?

[Scythe is the word she's looking for.]

No, it's not a code and no, I don't use a scythe. I don't have to. Just touching the soon-to-be-dead person is enough to break the link between their body and soul.

Shit, man. [That doesn't sound fun at all.] You sign up for that gig?

No. I died and took the place of the Reaper who came before me. I didn't get a choice in it, it was just--handed to me.

Well, that's real fuckin' shitty.

[And - well, kind of relatable, actually.]

I didn't have a choice in Becoming, either. I was just - born this way, I guess, and never knew it until a couple years ago.

That's what I said. No one else bought it.

[George has never considered her condition relatable]

Seriously? That's bullshit. You'd think someone would at least warn you or something.

Yeah ... well, no one really knew, I guess. I was adopted - Nightbane usually are - and I didn't even know that until I Became. [She laughs dryly.] With how much my ma hated me, you'd think she would've said somethin' about it at some point.

Seriously? They didn't even bother to tell you that you're adopted? That sucks. [her voice turns tentative] Your mom--hated you? Seriously?

Yeah, seriously. First time I ever heard of it was from the other Nightbane who gave me the big explanation after my Becoming. [She not-quite-laughs.] Graham said all Nightbane are adopted, no one really knows why, that's just how it is. But after that, I called up my ma - first time in like, seven years I talked to her - and I asked her, and she said yeah, I was, and she'd promised my dad to never tell me. Guess she loved him a hell of a lot more than she ever loved me. But yeah, she was pretty direct about hating me - for about ten years, after my dad died and before I was old enough to leave town.

[George's relationship with her mother was complicated as hell, but at least she's relatively sure that she never hated her]

...shit. That sucks. About your mom and everything.

Mm ... thanks. It's OK, it's not like I ever have to see her again. And if I do end up seeing her again, at least I'll be able to scare the shit outta her.

[Nick can do a lot more damage now that she's a Nightbane.]

Not unless you want to. And who'd want to see someone who hates them? Not me, that's for damn sure. [she laughs a little] Now that's looking on the bright side.

[and George is just a Reaper. theoretically capable of doing a lot of damage to another person, but she doesn't know that yet]

Nah. I moved out of her house the day I turned eighteen and never looked back. And anyway, unless she somehow turns up here, it ain't gonna matter much. I kinda get the feeling we're gonna be stuck here forever.

[Yup ... silver linings. Ish.]

Makes sense. And bartending's one of those jobs where you can make some decent cash if you're good at it, isn't it?

And you're not the only one with that feeling, trust me.

Yeah ... I mean, this is my third time here. If I'm not stuck here forever, I'm prob'ly just gonna keep coming back.

[Which. Makes Nick very Tired to think about, honestly.]

Bartending's decent money. Pays the bills and doesn't get too boring. It's really about attention to detail - you figure out what people are there for and give it to 'em. Not just drinks - a lot of the time they just want someone to talk to. Listening's a big part of the gig.

So you were here, got to go back to your real life, showed up here again and so on? Fuck. That's some shitty luck. [not said unkindly, more like commisserating]

Well, you're easy to talk to, so there's one of the job skills down. What do people usually wanna talk about?

Yeah, tell me 'bout it.

[Nick laugh dryly. She knows just how much her luck stats suck, when it comes to Hadriel.]

Thanks ... I like to think I was pretty good at my job. People who go to bars by themselves are the ones who usually wanna talk to the bartenders, mostly 'cause they got no one else to talk to. As for what they wanna talk about ... honestly, it's a lot of girl problems, or boy problems. You get to be real good at pretending you know what you're talking about when it comes to relationships - or at least I did. Or sometimes they wanna talk about their job problems, or family problems ... hell, I had one guy who was a regular and liked to tell me in detail about all his various health problems. Not a super old guy, but he had like three heart attacks, some seizures, had to have most of his teeth pulled out. Always left good tips, though.

I guess it's cheaper than therapy. More fun, too, since most therapists don't provide alcohol. Or maybe sadder, depending on what kind of drunk they are.

I dunno if I coulda dealt with the health-problem guy. I'm better at the end of life thing, not the in the process of it thing.

Depends on what you order. Some of that top-shelf stuff gets pretty pricey, especially if you're racking up a few on a tab, or buying drinks for your friends, or whoever you're looking to go home with.

[Because that is definitely a thing that people do at bars, yes.]

Health problem guy was all right - most of what you gotta do is just pretend you care. And look busy. [She laughs.] Even if it's a slow night, there's always glasses to take care of, shit to restock. You work out looks with your coworkers so they can come rescue you from a super Chatty Cathy - you know, kinda like good cop, bad cop.

I'm strictly a bottom shelf kind of girl. Unless it's the Speakeasy, then it's all free.

[George wouldn't really know. about the buying drinks for friends or looking to pick someone up]

I guess pretending to care has gotta be easier than actually caring. Safer, too. [she is resolutely NOT thinking about any of her Reaps right now, nope!] And all of this stuff is news to me, I've never held down a job outside the fast food industry. No one expect fast food workers to be happy.

twelfth; voice (live through this and you won't look back)

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