duel 6. ( video. )

[puzzlingly]

「He's been stalling on this for a while now, not sure of how to address it any longer, back then, when he first had learned about it, he was angry, frustrated, but now, not so much, he just wants answers. Might as well do this before there is more people coming into the city.

He looks thoughtful, mostly, as he stares idly at the camera not caring to hide the Millennium Eye stuck in his left socket as he did when they took pictures at Delmar's home. If everything went right, this would be the last time he would be seen wearing that creepy eye.」

Since everyone seems to be on the topic lately, I might as well remind you that there is a murderer among us. One that remains unpunished.

「Or so he thinks. He cannot keep wondering any longer, he needs to know. He needs to make sure there isn't someone running around killing people just because they think it's right. If that's the case.」

You, the one who killed Yukari, he might have deserved what you did to him, you made him pay for what he did, but you don't have my gratitude for it. Don't think you can hide forever. I will find you, no matter what it takes. And I will make you pay on his behalf.

「The tiredness in his voice, the aloofness in the way he speaks, the passion lacking in his usually prideful speech, doesn't quite make up for a good threat, maybe it's is not intended that way, but, it doesn't mean he's less determined about it. He will find them, he will read every person's mind in this city with the Millenium Eye if he has to. He can, why not simply do it?」

Comments

video; private

[aroundthecoroner]

[Right. This is exactly what he needs right now. For a moment, he considers just saying he did it to the whole network. Let them kill him or whatever, he doesn't care. But he's not quite that far gone. He has the wherewithal to hit the private filter before he starts talking.]

I'm not hiding from you, I'm right here. And I didn't do it for your gratitude.

[He looks maybe a little worse for wear, like he's been in a fight or hasn't slept in days or both. His eyes still have an unnatural blue glow to them, more visible in the gloom of his apartment.]

video; private

[puzzlingly]

「For the briefest moment, Atem doesn't recognize Michael in the screen. It takes him but a second, because of the gloomy environment, because of the state he is in — and those eyes, what's up with those eyes? — but that voice, remembers it well.

He freezes and pales, his eyes wide open from when realization when his words hit. He talked to him, he told him who had attacked him! He... Had it been his fault?!」

Mi... Michael?

「No, no, it must be a joke. The guy couldn't even talk to him directly! He was there with Delmar and the rest! This is not... this is not what he expected.

What was he expecting, though? A monster? Someone easier to judge?」

[aroundthecoroner]

[The surprise kind of hurts, actually, but in one of the more vile corners of himself, Michael feels weirdly smug about it. Yeah, murderers aren't just psychos with axes, kid. Sorry to break it to you.

... He really is sorry about it, actually, breaking that (admittedly thin) trust. It takes some of the spite out of him.]

You were probably expecting someone else, but I'm not making this up. And I'm not making excuses for it, either.

[puzzlingly]

「For a brief moment his first impulse is to turn off the feed, throw the cellphone to a wall and, honestly? Go to bed. He really needs a good night of sleep after these past weeks, and this is just a great excuse to do so.

But he doesn't, he started this, might as well finish it.」

Why— What did y— ... Why?

[aroundthecoroner]

[God, what a hard question to answer. He's tempted to go for the simplest terms, but saying "because a ghost made me do it" feels too much like an excuse. Yeah, the Visitor actually killed Yukari, but Michael was the one who set it loose.]

Because I needed someone to- I'm not alone in here, and the other one... has demands. It had to be a killer. Yukari didn't succeed, but he tried, and apparently that was good enough. So I let it have him.

[Hopefully Atem can... parse that.]

It wasn't because of you, if that's what you're worried about. You're not even the one I found out from.

[puzzlingly]

「Not alone... That certainly speaks volumes to Atem, enough to remain silent for far longer than he intends. He had told Michael about his other self, surely he understood perfectly what he even was thinking about, no ancient artifact needed to read his mind or anything. It makes him think of a time when it was him who took over to deal with people he considered evil, he did exactly what he wanted to do with Yukari's murderer. He never quite aimed to kill them, just to... make them learn a lesson. But Karma always got them first, not him, it was their own greed, their own scorn who made them lose the game. Not him...」

Does it... 「It?」 Does it make you do it?

「Does it take over? Is it, how he used to be? Gods, this is messing him up, it wasn't supposed to go this way.」

[aroundthecoroner]

[Michael isn't sure where Atem's going with this, and that makes it worse. Is he trying to understand? Why? It doesn't change anything.]

Not directly, no. It's persistent, to put it mildly, but I have the final word. I have to agree. I have to let it out. This isn't a possession, not really.

[Can he make it any more clear that he's the one in charge? Mostly.]

[puzzlingly]

「Yes, he is trying to understand, that much is clear.」

Why did you let it out? What made you believe you had the right to take someone's life.

「If he's in charge, then it is him who killed him. What a little hypocrite, right?」

[aroundthecoroner]

[He isn't sure if he wants to be understood, but at the same time, he's irritated that there's some kind of miscommunication here. Then again, what isn't he irritated by these days?]

I didn't "believe I had the right". [The air quotes are palpable, even if he doesn't do them with his fingers.] Why doesn't anyone get that? You can do something shitty and still know it's shitty.

I did it because I was selfish, is that what you want to hear? I did it because I wanted some fucking peace and quiet.

[Michael stops, takes a breath, pulls off his glasses and runs a hand over his face. He needs to calm down.]

[puzzlingly]

You're hardly the victim here, don't act as if you don't deserve everyone to know what you are, what you keep inside.

「He's not helping... But then again, what would?」

So what does that mean? That you will do it again?

[aroundthecoroner]

[He needs to calm down but there's the anger spiking again. Oops.]

I didn't say that. I said the opposite of that. I know I'm not a fucking victim. Are you threatening to out me? What do you even want from me?

[Being outed is not ideal, but he's not going to beg. He's not worried about the potential that someone might try to hurt him as revenge, or that people might think of him as a monster. He deserves that much. He also maybe deserves the thing he is afraid of, which is someone trying to lock him up or something. He doesn't know what he would do, but it would definitely be bad, and the fear is feeding into his steadily building fury. He shouldn't have answered this, he's so stupid.]

I can't guarantee I wouldn't do it again, if the gods ever sort us out. I can't make that promise. I'd hold it off as long as I can, but everyone has a breaking point. Judge me all you want, I don't care.

[puzzlingly]

「The answer is daunting. It's met with silence and Atem can only stare at him for so long before looking away, thoughtful. How could anyone live like that and not ask for help? It is something he cannot understand up to this date, it's hard to see how lucky he's been despite of everything he's been through.」

You don't have to do this alone.

video -> text

[aroundthecoroner]

[For a solid three seconds, Michael just stares at the screen. What? That's not the reaction he expected, nor is it the one he wanted, he realizes. You don't have to do this alone. That's basically what Harlan told him. Fuck.

Michael abruptly looks away and cuts the video feed. He doesn't want Atem to see him cry.]

you can't help
you don't understand
it's in my head
that's the very definition of alone

video 5ever

[puzzlingly]

「When his own reflection meets him in the screen, Atem panics. He didn't intend to scare him off like that! In fact, he doesn't understand why, after nearly threatening to kill him and expose him to everyone, something so simple as offering help is what breaks the deal.

But the text arrives and he's even more confused.」

You don't have to doom yourself like this, Michael. I can help... if you let me.

「Please, let me.」

[aroundthecoroner]

[That's exactly why it breaks the deal. He'd rather face the harsh consequences of his earlier actions than the gaping hole he's facing now. He doesn't want sympathy, he wants anger.]

Don't.
what would you even do?
you can't just walk into this and fix it
that's not how it goes
if it was that easy do you think I'd still be like this?

[He might, actually, but that's beside the point for now.]

Either you'd exorcise me or lock me up
and I'm not letting anyone do either

[puzzlingly]

I can lock it up. Take it away from you.

「Okay, no, he's not sure... But he could try.」

What else do you have to lose?

[aroundthecoroner]

no, you can't.
Right now we're all combined.
We're stuck.
What makes you think I'd want that anyway?
I told you, you don't understand.
And maybe I don't have much to lose anymore
but that just means I'm not giving you all I've got left.

[puzzlingly]

That's not all you've got left! What about those who care about you!?

「Way to be a downer, Michael.」

You're right, I don't understand, why would you want to keep killing people when someone is giving you a chance not to?

[aroundthecoroner]

[Spoiler alert he's always a downer.]

What? Do you care about me?
A couple minutes ago you just wanted to tell everyone I was a killer
You made it sound like you wanted to get revenge.
Did that change because of who I am?
Am I not an acceptable target anymore?

[It's much easier to try and antagonize than it is to try and explain. How does he tell Atem that the Visitor was the only thing that gave his life any purpose? A bad purpose, but what does it matter? He's a bad person anyway. This, in some small way, at least justified his existence.

And yeah, he knows, he knows that there are people here who would say he doesn't need to justify his existence, that care about him just because, but that doesn't matter to him right now. He doesn't want to be understood, he doesn't want to be helped. He doesn't want any of it.]

[puzzlingly]

Of course it changes things! Of course I care about you! But what about you Michael, do you care about anyone at all?

[aroundthecoroner]

[The only thing that keeps Michael's phone from turning into a smashed mess against the wall is the fact that he needs it. Harlan's not coming back, but just in case.]

Why?
Why does it change?
It doesn't matter if I'm a friend or not I still killed him.
If I wasn't someone you knew would you still offer to help?

[And that second part. Mmmmmmm buddy.]

You're not being fair.
Caring about them doesn't mean I have to let you do whatever you're trying to.
That isn't fucking fair and you know it.
This isn't helping.
You can keep trying but you're not going to force me
I'm done with being forced

[puzzlingly]

That's not what I mean! 「What does he mean though? Michael is right, he's not being fair, but the whole thing is not fair at all.」 This is not about me! This is about you telling me you will not stop hurting others if you cannot help it.

「He doesn't know what to do... He doesn't want to hunt him down that's so season zero.

He lets out a shaky sigh after a moment of silence.」

Tell me how to help you.

[aroundthecoroner]

[By now he's too worked up. He's too furious to calm down in an hour, much less at the drop of a hat like this.]

Forget it
If you want an easy answer I don't have one.
There isn't one.
I'm not going to hurt anyone right now
and if I did it would just be a murderer
It's no different than what you were going to do to me
until you found out who I was.

[puzzlingly]

I didn't even know what I was going to do, Michael. I wouldn't have killed you. I don't do that.

「That's all he can say.」

[aroundthecoroner]

I saw those other messages.
I'm not that oblivious.
Torture or imprisonment were apparently on the table.
You can do worse than kill someone you know.