hadriel | 011 [Video]

Entry tags:

011 [Video]

[Lance is clearly back in Hadriel since the video is catching the backdrop of his kitchen, nondescript and standard as always; he really should decorate this place at some point. He's finally done something about his hair though, so although it's still long enough to curl a little it's back under control, if not exactly masterfully styled. He did his best.

But the biggest change after his vacation is that he seems a bit brighter than he has been recently, not as tense and distracted. Things aren't perfect or even really close to truly resolved, but they're better enough that he's making this post.]

Hey, so, I'm back from exploring, and therefore both my actual and metaphorical vacation; this means that if anyone needs any professional advice, or just to talk to someone, I'm available. Especially since the latest event seemed...

['Not great' are the words coming to him, but those aren't particularly professional, so--]

Particularly stressful, to all those involved, for reasons that may be more complicated than usual.

[He also totally stalked all those network posts that happened at the time, and is really glad he missed this event himself. He's keeping in mind the possibility of leaving the city to avoid others in the future if possible, though it's such a simple solution that he's not sure it'll work.]

I'd also like to remind those here, especially new arrivals, that we've recently compiled a list of people willing to teach different skills, and if you'd like to teach something just let me know what. Hopefully we can all stave off boredom and learn something useful at the same time.

[That part addressed, he feels like he should add something else he's been holding off on; it's been awhile, so surely people have noticed by now if they were going to care, but still.]

For anyone unaware, Dr. Brennan disappeared early last month. That means I have her book, if anyone who wanted to read it hasn't had a chance to do so yet.

[Because that's, of course, the biggest issue here. The book.

And, so as not to leave off on a somber note--]

Is there anything important that wasn't on the network that I missed while I was gone?

[Fill him in on stuff, people~]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Yeah. I mean, it's not super easy, but people do it. And there are... you know, enchanted objects and stuff that can move you between planes. Worlds. Whatever.

Do you think it would be possible to travel between your world and mine?

[Because that's what he's going for here, with the questioning. He'd always kept it in the back of his mind as a possibility, that if they were able to use the Door somehow but he couldn't end up choosing what time to return to in his world, then perhaps he could go to another world and then his own that way. But it had been a really low-likelihood plan, and so he hasn't put much thought into it, but if it's possible...

He's not going to continue with that thought just yet, though, until he hears the answer.]

Shit, maybe. I mean, uh... You know, when we used to work for Kairos, we found these cute little silver figurine things? There were like five of them, and Panna said they could let people travel between planes or whatever, but then she took them for safekeeping.

[The air quotes around that words are painfully obvious, and she rolls her eyes.]

Anyway, maybe we should get them back. I don't know why I didn't think of that before.

[There are a lot of what-ifs and maybes involved in that idea, but it's... Something. And Lance has done a lot more with a lot less before.

He chews on his lip for a few seconds, gaze fixed off to the side as he thinks, before he looks back at the screen again.]

Then maybe, if we're able to leave here but can't choose when to return to, it could be possible to go to your world and then mine. I just...

[He sighs quietly, because this always sounds stupid even to him, but--]

I just can't go to another world and stay there, even knowing I won't live in mine. I would spend the rest of whatever life I gained thinking about the people I left, and it wouldn't be worth it.

[Kyna frowns at that, trying to understand it. She's not entirely sure that she does.]

I don't... think I get it.

I know, it's difficult to explain and doesn't make a lot of sense.

[And he thinks it's because his views things a little differently than a lot of people due to past experiences, but he's not sure he wants to get into those now on top of everything else. Why is life always so complicated?]

[Okay, she's going to try very hard here!]

Is it like... You don't think it's worth it without the people back home or something?

[Which feels a little morbid to say.]

[He appreciates the effort, even if this whole situation is awkward.]

Not... Exactly, just...

[Ugh. Words, Lance.]

I don't want to survive just to survive. Purposefully giving up everyone and everything that I've worked toward my entire life, just to take a chance on living a little longer, doesn't seem like a worthwhile trade.

[But isn't that basically what Kyna just said, just in different words? He isn't sure, suddenly, and this topic is just so complicated--and another aspect of the whole issue of what happened to him that he would really benefit from talking to someone professionally about if he had the option--that he can't sort it out yet.]

I think I get it. But if you came home with us, it's not like you'd just sit around in my apartment all day or something. You could work towards things there, too.

[He's relieved that made any sense at all, even if it might not have been a lot.]

I know. But it also feels kind of... Cowardly, I guess, to abandon Daisy and my son just to save myself.

[Even though he knows that logically that isn't true.]

You're not abandoning them. Is that what it feels like? Not just going to another world, I mean...

[Dying.]

Sort of. But it's more that... I mean, I didn't choose to be murdered, but it would be my choice if I ran away to another world entirely.

[It would not only be cowardly, but also almost like cheating. People die, and that's how life is, and shouldn't he be accepting that? He got so much more than so many people did, after all.]

Yeah, but... It's not like that would be giving up or something.

I know. It's one of those illogical feelings, I guess, probably caused by some deep-seated, unresolved issue from my life.

[He manages a faint smile, raising his eyebrows in preparation to make a terrible joke.]

Maybe I should talk to a professional.

[She's 95% sure he's currently doing that deflecting with a joke thing she's the queen of, but whatever. She's making a face anyway.]

Whatever, I'm totally a professional.

What kind of professional is the question here.

[He is definitely not deflecting, okay. Definitely not.]

You're an asshole. And I know what you're doing, by the way.

I have no idea what you're talking about.

[And, for further deflecting--]

But speaking of being a professional, whenever you next have some time I'd like to continue practicing the spells I was trying to learn. I'll try to be less terrible this time.

[Because not getting them right immediately obviously means he's terrible.]

I mean you're trying to change the subject because you don't want to talk about it.

[Kyna wrinkles her nose.]

You're not terrible. You're really really talented.

Even if I did want to talk about it, I wouldn't know what else to say.

[Mostly because he doesn't completely know what he feels, let alone is able to put it into actual words. But he's distracted immediately from that topic by the compliment, not having expected it, and immediately blushes a bit.]

Thank you.

[Even if he doesn't feel super talented, at least not at anything but cantrips.]

It's okay. We don't have to talk about it.

[She's grinning.]

We can talk about the fact that you're blushing instead.

Or we could not do that.

[Although having it pointed out to him is just making him blush more. Why must you betray him like this, face?]

You're totally blushing. Bright red. Do you always do that with compliments?

Not every time.

[Just... A lot of the time. Especially if it's something that really matters and is unexpected.

Also he has a feeling he's never going to live this down, now.]

Just like, most of the time?

[Good.]

Okay, but seriously, you're really good at all the spells I've been teaching you.

[Private]

[Private]

[Private]

[Private]

[Private]

[Private]

[Private]

[Private]

[Private]

[Private]

[Private]

[Private]

[Private]

[Private]

[Private]

[Private]

[Private]

[Private]

[Private]

[Private]

[Private]

[Private]

[Private]

[Private]

[Private]