hadriel | [Text]

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Seeking redemption was my entire goal before I was brought to this place. But I've lost my path recently... I ought to set myself in the right direction again.

Since I've committed numerous atrocities in my past, it's only fair that I start, first, by revealing them all here and now. After that... I don't know what I'll do, but I'll have to figure out something.

1. I used to frequently beat up and bully the person who became my best friend.
2. I ~~have~~ ~~had~~ ~~have~~ had wrongful feelings toward my best friend's beloved.
3. I'm constantly jealous of my best friend, to the point where I often loathe him.
4. I tried to stab my best friend in the back.
5. I stole some crystals.
6. I threatened to kill a little girl.
7. I betrayed all of my friends by fighting against them.
8. I aided in the kidnapping of my best friend's beloved.
9. I purposefully skipped my best friend's wedding.
10. I still sometimes feel a deeply overwhelming moral conflict.
11. In the middle of an endless war, I knocked out and kidnapped several of my allies.
12. I failed the dragoons, my kingdom, and my family name in every way possible.
13. I once dressed like this: Open attached image.

I can surely keep going, but this may be enough of a start. Forgive me. I truly regret all that I've done.

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[Kain listens intently, gathering that this definitely is a very personal story, given the family connections and all that his uncle had done. It's… meaningful, isn't it, that Atem is willing to talk to him about such a thing.]

He sounds all too familiar… I fear we may have made very similar mistakes. Yet you say you don't hate him? Why?

[Cecil and Rosa don't hold it against him, do they? They have every right to, and Kain even sometimes wishes they would, and yet… both had said they forgive him. Maybe Atem's answer will give him some insight into why they'd been so eager to forgive.]

「He answers without hesitation.」

Because I love him, he was my family, and for a long time I believed he was all the family I had left. He took care of me to the best of his abilities despite everything.

「Also because Atem is Atem, and he's never been able to hold much of a grudge, unlike others, but there is the possibility that Kain's friends can see beyond his treason and more into the person he really is.」

Because I want to believe there is light in the dark, and because it wasn't all on him either.

「It hadn't been Kain's fault completely after all.」

Don't take me wrong... it... took time for me to forgive him, maybe I still resent him a little but, it's not hate what I feel towards him.

[All of this is thoroughly interesting to Kain, who again, listens closely, and takes it all in. It's a few moments before he's able to reply, as he has to take time to turn it over in his head. Could this be how his friends feel as well? Could it be, they see something in him that he himself doesn't?]

I certainly wouldn't blame them for perhaps resenting me a little, for being disappointed in me in a way, too. And your uncle… did he try to redeem himself for what he'd done?

[There is light in dark, and dark in light, that much is all too apparent to Kain. Hmm...]

This is valuable to hear. I mean that. You remind me of them, you know. My friends. They're forgiving people, they were very willing to forgive me, to see more good in me than I ever did. Which means… what you're saying really does explain to me why they did that. I've wondered about it for a long time.

「Oh... well that's a question that makes Atem's eyes widen for a second before he goes thoughtful and maybe a little melancholy. But it's fleeting, what Kain says to him it's surprisingly touching. He doesn't know what to say about that.」

I don't... I don't know if he ever had the chance. 「He's sure he saw him through that door, it couldn't have been his imagination, he saw his uncle waiting for him on the other side, surely he must have gained forgiveness somehow, but he cannot be too sure about it.」

But, Kain... it's only human to fail, as it is to accept our faults and learn from them. You have a precious opportunity to make amends, and grow.

I'm sorry... I hope that he somehow did, despite everything... or perhaps he'll have a chance in the next life, who knows?

[Anything is possible. Perhaps he's ended up elsewhere, as well. Kain had ended up here, after all, even after dying in the war. He hadn't been so sure he'd have another chance at life, if he'd ever return home. He's still not sure if he'll see home again, but at least here and now in this world, he has another chance.]

That's all I want... it's all I've ever wanted, ever since I went to that mountain to atone. If I can find some way to make amends here, I'll do it, whatever it takes. I've gone somewhat off track lately, but... there's still time for me to salvage it, right? I can work on it now. I just need to determine how, exactly...

Reincarnation? Maybe... I hope so.

「He hadn't thought about that, it's a good possibility given his past, he's seen it happen for a while now.」

You'll have your chance. Also... remember how many lives you've saved here, when you fought the Null, and... well, back then in the cave, you saved my life. I think you're doing just fine. It's gonna be alright, Kain.

Who knows? After all, we ended up here, in this other world, living a new life. He may find another life elsewhere... Perhaps.

[Kain doesn't know how it works, and in many ways, he's less sure of that now than ever. Resurrecting in a strange world will have that effect.]

Hm... I hope you're right, that it will be. A few good deeds won't erase the terrible things I did, but... it's all a good step toward making amends for it all. I'll save you again, if it comes to it, and I'll do all I can to defend everyone here, as well.

「What Kain says makes him think, he should open his mind to all those possibilities. To see his uncle again, to talk to him, fix things...」

I know you will, but I hope you won't have to, but don't worry, I will not refuse the help.

「He's done being this prince in distress all the time!」

I've gotten better lately. At... fighting, I guess.

I won't let you refuse, if such a time should come. We must stay prepared for anything to happen... because it very likely will.

[If he can rid himself of guilt by doing things like this for others here, so be it. If he must die and die again until he's fully forgiven himself, so be it. He'll do whatever it takes, anything at all. If this is how he makes amends... so be it.]

Have you improved? I'd be interested in seeing that sometime. And... if there's any way in which I can help you with that... you only need to let me know.

「It will likely happen, huh? He hates admitting it but, he's right. He makes but a small hesitant pause, it's but an idea that he's toyed with for the past months, but maybe he can ask now.」

Would you... if it's not a burden to you, would you please teach me how to fight like you?

「His sword training with Yukari must have paid off by now, even if he feels he's still as mediocre as the day he arrived to Hadriel, he's light years away from considering himself good, but he cannot afford that feeling to drag him down now (Sorrow doesn't help at all either, but he's stronger than that...), specially not after the way Kain says it. He doesn't have any kind of magic powers in here to protect himself, or others, all he's got is this meager body, might as well use it the best way he can.」

Edited 2018-05-08 14:02 (UTC)

[Kain always takes the more realistic attitude toward everything, and even more so now, after being through that endless war. This place is somewhat better, but... not entirely. There's still a war of sorts on, even if it's not always directly facing them. He figures it's only a matter of time before those Null return and when they do... he needs to be ready. But so does everyone else.]

Of course I can. It won't be easy, and you'll need to give it your all... it takes considerable discipline to become a competent fighter, after all. But if you're willing to give it that effort, I'm willing to train you.

「It's good that Atem has him as someone is his life, often, if not always, he tends to get lost a little in his own utopian world, one that in truth, he will not stop pursuing, one in which people are simply happy, there is no wars, there is no hate. But for that to happen, he has to fight, how ironic.」

I enjoy the challenges. But, I assure you, I'll give you my all and more, Master Kain.

「He gives him a little smirk, not his usual full of pride one, just one a little more humble.」

[Kain can heart the conviction in his tone, and overall... it sounds like he really does mean it. Not in some overconfident way, either. Of course, he's trained plenty of new recruits to the dragoons in his time. Some had gone on to become even better fighters, while others just didn't have what it takes. But he's got a feeling Atem has it in him.]

Then I'll look forward to our first training session, and seeing what you're truly capable of.

Why wait?

「Maybe starting right away might help Kain to distract himself a little from all that guilt.」

Hm, so you have some time to get started soon? I'd be up for that.

[When isn't he ready to go do some training, though? It's typical Kain, as always.]

I'm free right now.

「If this helps them both, sure, why not.」

The colosseum?

「Seems like a fitting place for training.」

So am I... and that works for me. I can come right over.

[It's not like it takes him much to prepare, usually, either, and he's pretty much always prepared to fight, especially after the whole Null incident. One can't be too careful.]

I'll see you there, friend.

「And he's gone with a smile, hopefully this will lighten Kain's mood a little.」

I'll look forward to it.

[With that, he's off to join him, definitely glad for this distraction.]

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