(There was a lot that Newt admired about Maketh. Maybe she had done a lot of things in the past that she had regretted but so had he. Everyone was subjected to making awful choices every now and then in their life but Newt had meant it with every fiber of his being when he had said that it was the present that mattered, not the past. And the thing with Maketh was she seemed so capable, so incredibly mature and intelligent. She was something he had never once known in adults, with a real sense of order and logic, someone kind and good, good to him now, good to him since he has met her and that...It was the first time Newt had ever considered what it'd be like for him to grow into an adult and wanting to be like anything. Wanting to be like Maketh. If only a little bit.
He too wishes they were talking in person. Newt was a physically grounded person who was invasive in a way that wasn't just emotional but physical. He'd sit close to the people he liked, bumped knees, touched arms, and generally didn't seem to understand the problem in showing affection. He would have hugged the breath out of her.
Newt idly wonders if his own mother, his birth mother, would have been happy that he had found someone like this. He thinks that she would have.
His own eyes were wet and unlike Maketh, he doesn't try to blink or scrub them away. He's got a face that looks used to crying and his tears remain where they are, making his eyes shine.
But then Maketh begins to talk about death in a way that Newt intimately understands down to the limp on his leg. His face is ashen and if he hadn't wished he was there before, he certainly did now.)
I...
(His voice is thick with emotion and he clears his throat a bit, sitting up straighter. He takes a steadying breath. The only person he's spoken about this with was Peter. No one else. Maketh though...She deserved that support.)
Back home, when I was in the Maze, I was a Runner. Because I was fast and smart and had no problem memorizing the Maze. But...it...It drove me a bit-
(His throat clicks and he stared off.)
But uh- uh there were vines all over the walls, you know, so one day I guess I just really couldn't stand it anymore. The maze and being trapped and the sound of the monsters and how I didn't know anything and I just. Couldn't. So I climbed up to the top and well- but I messed up. Landed funny and ruined my leg instead. I- Only...Only Peter knows that about me. I've been...struggling...with that feeling for such a long time. Wanting to not...exist.
(He looks uncomfortable, stressed, but he also doesn't look like he minded sharing this. And maybe it was a conversation better had in person but Newt doesn't really think it matters. It was a conversation that needed to happen now, that was relevant now.)
And here, I felt that way for a while too. I still do- sometimes. But it's really rare and brief and now I feel bad when I think like that. People like you, like Peter, have changed me a lot. You've given me a reason to want to be here. I think that- I think if you've found people, then you've found your purpose. I don't think there needs to be anything more than that. More than the people you meet, the people who change your life.
I think it's important that we've met. I know- I do understand what you mean. I do.
(And he'd told her that story because he understood it so thoroughly.)
And you're not alone. And really, you won't be so long as I'm here. And so long as Henry and Lilith are here too.
[video]
He too wishes they were talking in person. Newt was a physically grounded person who was invasive in a way that wasn't just emotional but physical. He'd sit close to the people he liked, bumped knees, touched arms, and generally didn't seem to understand the problem in showing affection. He would have hugged the breath out of her.
Newt idly wonders if his own mother, his birth mother, would have been happy that he had found someone like this. He thinks that she would have.
His own eyes were wet and unlike Maketh, he doesn't try to blink or scrub them away. He's got a face that looks used to crying and his tears remain where they are, making his eyes shine.
But then Maketh begins to talk about death in a way that Newt intimately understands down to the limp on his leg. His face is ashen and if he hadn't wished he was there before, he certainly did now.)
I...
(His voice is thick with emotion and he clears his throat a bit, sitting up straighter. He takes a steadying breath. The only person he's spoken about this with was Peter. No one else. Maketh though...She deserved that support.)
Back home, when I was in the Maze, I was a Runner. Because I was fast and smart and had no problem memorizing the Maze. But...it...It drove me a bit-
(His throat clicks and he stared off.)
But uh- uh there were vines all over the walls, you know, so one day I guess I just really couldn't stand it anymore. The maze and being trapped and the sound of the monsters and how I didn't know anything and I just. Couldn't. So I climbed up to the top and well- but I messed up. Landed funny and ruined my leg instead. I- Only...Only Peter knows that about me. I've been...struggling...with that feeling for such a long time. Wanting to not...exist.
(He looks uncomfortable, stressed, but he also doesn't look like he minded sharing this. And maybe it was a conversation better had in person but Newt doesn't really think it matters. It was a conversation that needed to happen now, that was relevant now.)
And here, I felt that way for a while too. I still do- sometimes. But it's really rare and brief and now I feel bad when I think like that. People like you, like Peter, have changed me a lot. You've given me a reason to want to be here. I think that- I think if you've found people, then you've found your purpose. I don't think there needs to be anything more than that. More than the people you meet, the people who change your life.
I think it's important that we've met. I know- I do understand what you mean. I do.
(And he'd told her that story because he understood it so thoroughly.)
And you're not alone. And really, you won't be so long as I'm here. And so long as Henry and Lilith are here too.