[Hey, he knows that face! It's the "I'm deeply disappointed and also in pain" face. His old boss used to make that all the time. He'll respond the same way he did then, with a little snicker.]

Just stick your head in the cold ass water, it'll probably do the same thing. And then when you've stopped feeling bad about it, you can start workin' on ways to stick it to 'em with the rest of us.