hadriel | ❅ Eleven (Text)

(Tears shimmer in her eyes, but it's clear that, even though she is sad, she is happy to see him.)

I was blessed to have another for as long as I did. I know he did not leave willingly and, as long as I am here, I might be able to see him again.

(So hope remains; this mourning is but a period.)

How would you ease my pain?

Edited 2018-08-13 02:18 (UTC)

[Kelson notices the tears but does not comment, not wishing to embarrass the lady if she wasn't comfortable.]

I do hope you are able to see him again.

[A mourning period was natural, even if there was that faint semblance of hope. A mourning period was necessary.]

It's a little like meditation, have you ever done that? I would help you reach a state of less sorrow, one you could handle, and hold it for you. It would only work while I'm there but, I would be happy to ease it for you.

(Tears are good. She needs to mourn and celebrate knowing Maedhros. How many nights had she fallen asleep nestled against him? How many times had she seen to his hair and managed to make him smile even when he was hurting? She is happy to have had the time they shared.)

Me too. I will introduce you to him, then. He is a great warrior - he was once a king - but his life took a tragic turn. I think that is why he was so kind.

(She frowns pensively, pulling her long braid over her shoulder.)

I haven't, but it involves clearing the mind, does it not?

Edited 2018-08-13 02:39 (UTC)

I would like that, I would have liked to know him. If he does return, I would value the chance.

[Hearing her description of the elf, it seems no wonder to him that they would gravitate together.]

I'm sure you will miss his council.

[He takes a breath, trying to make himself seem gentle.]

Yes, but if you have trouble I can do most of the heavy lifting. It does involve magic, I would be in your mind in a way, but not privy to your thoughts. I wouldn't do that to you. It takes more concentration and contact on my part to do anything like that. So you needn't worry about that.

[Something that probably never crossed her mind but too Kelson, that's the first thing he usually has to deal with.]

It's funny... I can hear him speak in my head. I hope that doesn't start to fade. (His council is with her for now.) I think I will write down my best memories of him to keep them fresh.

(The thing is - she trusts Kelson. He has become a friend and she doesn't have anything that she really wants to hide from him. Except for maybe the horrible memories of what Joffrey and Ramsay had done to her. But even that she feels he would understand.)

I am willing to try. I don't wish to tax you, so if you feel weary, please tell me.

Edited 2018-08-13 02:51 (UTC)

That's a good idea. I didn't think to do any of that when I lost my father.

[Maybe that was something that made the perspective uniquely female? Perhaps that was why it hadn't occurred to him? And the idea of someone trusting him so implicitely, someone who wasn't Deryni or hadn't been working with his kind before was shocking. But, he supposed, she did work closely with the elves. Perhaps that was the difference.

As for the horrible memories, yes he would understand. He has some of his own.]

I promise, but the energy output necessary shouldn't be too great.

[Then again he'd never tried to do it to someone over a long period before. Maybe he was wrong?]

Edited 2018-08-13 02:58 (UTC)

I didn't write down anything when I lost my first father. Then again, at the time, anything I wrote would have been read by the King's spies. I was never alone.

(It's more experience. She has the freedom to remember a loved one properly, so she will do so.

The Elves have opened her mind to otherworldly powers. Sansa has also learned to trust her gut instinct. Kelson has never made her feel frightened or wary. He isn't using her - he gains nothing from doing this for her - so she is willing to believe what he says.

Besides, if her pain is lessened, she can be more helpful to Maglor, Fingon and Curufin - who are suffering too.)

Thank you, Your Majesty. I do not know how to repay you.

[The one thing that stuck out to Kelson on that was the spies. Since, well, Kelson had used such methods himself but he didn't think Sansa had done anything to require them. Maybe he was mistaken?]

Why were being spied on?

[Kelson shakes his head, smiling as she uses the correct title for his world. How nice, how rarely he heard it here.]

Being able to use my abilities without fear or reprisal is payment enough. You have no need. I swore oaths when I was crowned and I intend to uphold them, here or in Gwynedd.

Because I am a Stark. My father was beheaded for being a traitor - though he was only standing up for the good of the Seven Kingdoms - and I was imprisoned, as the King's betrothed, to keep my mother and brother in line. They feared the North would rise against them, but as long as they had me, they reasoned, no one would make a move against them.

(So, no. The spies were not deserved. She was only a scared girl mourning her family.)

You are an honorable King and you have been a good friend to me. I would be ungrateful if I punished you for being kind.

[Oh, well.......it wouldn't sound terribly good if he admitted he'd done almost the same thing? Sure, Kelson had his reasons, every king surely thought they did. Instead, he looked down.]

I'm sorry for the loss of your father. Did they mistreat you?

[For all Kelson's actions, he at least made sure his hostages were well treated, even if they thought otherwise. And any spying was....subtle when appropriate.]

I appreciate that, my lady. I'm not sure everyone in Gwynedd would see it that way.

Yes. (There is no hesitation, but she doesn't sound angry either. Just resolved and tired.) I was beaten almost on a daily basis in front of the court. I tried to apologize, but King Joffrey had his Kingsguard strip me and hit me with the flat edge of their swords.

(Her spying was obvious and intrusive. On a good day. On a bad, she was hit and then later punished if she showed her bruises.)

Are they afraid of magic?

[The mere fact that she can talk about it without such emotion says quite a lot to Kelson. He looked up. His eyes shift, the once gentle and kind face squaring off into a neutral expression, grey eyes cold and glaring.]

For what reason?

[Although it sounded quite like this King Joffrey didn't need a reason. He reminded him a bit of King Wencit of Torenth, sadistic and cruel, because he could. Wencit at least always had a reason though.]

And King Joffrey's full name.

[Because he was bloody going to the collosseum every month and waiting there until he found Joffrey. And then they were going to 'chat'. With any luck, at the end of their chat, Joffrey might be a little blue and hanging from the nearest structure he could find. Kelson ignored the last part of her question, he'd come back to it later. This was more important.]

Edited 2018-08-13 13:29 (UTC)

He feared my family; he feared their influence. By tormenting me, he felt...powerful. I think he enjoyed it too much. (If Joffrey had been allowed to grow into a full adult, he might have been like the Mad King.) He had to keep me alive and that was the only detail that saved me.

(Joffrey did as he pleased. If he needed a reason, he would find one belatedly.)

Joffrey Baratheon, though it should have been Joffrey Lannister. He was the son of a brother and sister. His mother was Queen and she passed Joffrey off as the son of her husband, King Robert Baratheon. But it was obvious they weren't related.

[Kelson's jaw clenched as he listened to the story unfold. Of course, incest. Wasn't that always how it began?]

Joffrey Baratheon. He abused you for no reason other than his own insecurity. That's almost amusing considering he was king, how much more power did he want?

[He sighed. What a horrible king. He wished it was uncommon. But it wasn't. Kelson, angry as he was by the obvious torment and rampant abuse Sansa and no doubt others had suffered at Joffrey's hands, he couldn't help but wonder if anyone had ever taught him how to be better? Kelson had his own to guide him, to chastise him when he made mistakes and ensure that he wouldn't make them again.]

Did he have anyone to guide him in more....appropriate behavior?

And on a side note, I do wonder if incest has something to do with sanity. My own kingdom has a similar story. Imre and Ariella. Their family wasn't the model of sanity and good deeds to begin with, but they were lovers. Had one son. Do you think that's part of the issue?

(It doesn't help matters. Genes aren't meant to be mixed so closely, though Joffrey might have stood a chance if he had been raised with love. Instead Robert hit him regularly and did everything but deny he was his son.)

All of it. He wanted complete subservience. (But she doesn't think that would have made him happy. No, Joffrey was a very broken boy.)

His father was openly cruel to him, his mother might be worse than he ever dreamed of being and his true father never acknowledged him in public.

(Hate breeds more hate, doesn't it.)

I wonder. His siblings were very kind, so I doubt it. I was a friend to his sister and his younger brother fostered kittens. All of them possessed the Lannister golden hair, so I imagine their father was the same.

[Maybe it is that Joffrey never stood a chance, but with a family like his, he most definitely didn't. In contrast, Kelson's childhood was practically idyllic. He had a father who wanted him, he excelled in things Brion valued, and even if his mother was a little crazy, it didn't affect things that much.

Kelson let out a sigh.]

That would have solved nothing, he would still have wanted more when he achieved that. I can't say I know what it's like to be raised in a circumstance like that, but I imagine it can't be easy. Not that it excuses any kind of behavior. But I suppose if you don't know any better, how can you be expected to achieve anything else?

[But if his siblings were kind hearted, maybe the defect was just Joffrey?]

Still, his behavior is inexcusable in any man, worse in a king. Does your kings not do coronation oaths and vows?

[Kelson took his vows very seriously. Perhaps it was different in Westeros]

(Nature versus nurture. Both matter, but, in the end, nurture holds more weight. Cersei might have loved her boy, but she damaged him beyond repair. Robert hit her and hit Joffrey. She had some outlets to at least save her son. Sansa would have protected her son - her child - before herself every single time.)

I pity him now a little. But that doesn't stop me from being glad that he is dead, too. (His pain is over and she can breathe easier.)

Oaths and vows are only words. Knights take them too and the knights were the ones that hurt me in court. I don't believe anyone is protected by words anymore.

[Part of Kelson might hope that if Joffrey did end up here, he might be able to help the king, separated from the harsh influences that previously made up his life. Experience however taught Kelson that was kindness and mercy were not always the right choices and more often than not caused preventable deaths and hurt.]

I am glad you were able to escape him.

[Even if that escape was his death, and others hurt her just as much.It was one hurt down.]

Words are only as powerful as those who speak them. In my kingdom, any oaths made to me are usually truth read. Anyone who swears such falsely are held accountable. But I suppose in other kingdoms one only has common sense to weed out the dangerous and untrue. It's difficult in cases where corruption is rampant.

[Like, say, with Joffrey.]

If you see anyone here that makes you uncomfortable, or you have reason not to trust, such as Joffrey or those knights, you will let me know.

[That was not a question Sansa. You will let him know.]

(In Joffrey's case, the mercy might fall on deaf ears. In fact, it probably would. Which is unfortunate. Sansa had the blessing of a loving family; Joffrey did not and it really does make all the difference on a child who doesn't have a lot of self-esteem.)

I am too. (What happened was awful, but she can't feel bad for Joffrey. He beheaded her father and he is at least part of the reason her mother and brother were slaughtered.)

Truth read...? Is that some kind of spell? (She gives a small sigh.) Corruption is everywhere in King's Landing. A man once told me that everyone there was a liar. He would have known considering he turned out to be one of the largest liars of all.

(Baelish will face punishment very soon.)

Of course. (She gives him a small smile.) I wouldn't put myself or anyone else from my world in danger. If Joffrey and his Kingsguard are free to go where they please, someone will suffer.

[Nurture may make a difference, but some perhaps are just born wrong. Kelson's cousin Conall had all the love and he could want, but in the end, it wasn't enough. The selfish, childish, spoiled part of Conall won out and all the love and nurture and training can't stop nature. Like Joffrey, he had two younger siblings who were loving and kind.]

I wouldn't call it a spell, it's barely even magic, although I suppose it seems like it to those who can't do it. It takes very little effort on my part, so much I learned to truth read and truth say--where I can compel someone to tell the truth-- spontaneously.

I daresay it would have been a useful trait to have in King's Landing. It's too bad I can't teach it.

[Kelson wished he couldn't imagine a kingdom where the entire nobility was corrupt, from the king down to the very knights who served him.]

Good. I'm glad then. I do hope there comes a time when the corruption will be rooted out.

[It may take time. It may take hundreds of years like it did in Gwynedd, but it would happen. Just not perhaps in anyone's lifetime. Kelson was confident of that. It would happen.]

(Maybe it says something about the family as a whole when a child is so cruel. The Lannisters have had problems for decades - just look at how poorly her first husband, Lord Tyrion, had been treated and all because he was a Dwarf. In a way, you always reap what you sow.)

I would like to see you use that ability at the court of King's Landing. The lies you would uncover would be heinous, I am sure.

(It goes further than that for Westeros. Even the religions can't be trusted.)

I can only imagine that happening one way. (With the aid of dragon fire.) Those that are accustomed to building their lives off of lies must be brought to justice.

[You do reap what you sow, that was something constantly reminded to Kelson when he lamented Conall's death. He got exactly what he deserved. He may have been getting cold feet about putting poison in the flask Kelson drank from, but he got that poison by killing a man and hiding it, and he killed that man because he'd been seeing him in private to gain the power to attack his father and Kelson to usurp the crown, which he did. The facts were not to Conall's benefit. Like Joffrey, they both got exactly what they sowed.]

I would quite enjoying truth reading at that court. At the very least, it would be entertaining.

[Religion hasn't been the most trustworthy source in Gwynedd either. Luckily for him, most of those suspect committed outright treason. Had they been more like the Lannisters and those in Westeros, Kelson would have been very hard up. However, outright bigotry and want for power prevailed over political chess games.]

Then I hope that happens and you are able to rebuild from the ashes.

(If there is an afterlife, perhaps the little good Conall and Joffrey did will help them not be tortured for eternity. Sansa isn't attached to Joffrey being tortured further. He is a sad figure for her and not worth much - if any - mental strain.)

What you found might sicken you. But you would be in a position where you could protect yourself.

(Kelson wouldn't be a prisoner, forced to abide by ridiculous etiquette and punished for...existing, really. Sansa feels a small stirring of hope; a flame she prays - to whatever deity hears her - she can carry with her back to Westeros.)

It's strange to want violence - to seek battle or a war - but the current regime won't come to an end quietly. That isn't in their nature.

[Kelson hoped they both rested in peace. They paid their price in this life. Let them rest. But, that was more of a matter for priests than kings. He had done his part. He had no idea what happened to their souls later.]

I've seen a great many things that sicken me, my lady. I would do my best to not let them get away with it.

[He hoped she was able to carry that hope, that bravery with her where ever she went. There had to be hope. Otherwise, what was the point? It had to get better.]

No. They never do. But it is better to completely cut off any possible resistance than have to fight all over again. War it must be. There has only been once in my life when I was able to win a war without a single sword being raised. And even then, it was not to be.

(She winces and closes her eyes.) I wish that were not so. I wish I could erase what we have seen, heard and experienced. But then who would we be? You and I might not even be friends.

(Hope blooms in the most unlikely of places. Now if it will only take flight and become something lasting.)

Why was it not to be? Did the victory not last because there was no violence?

❅ Eleven (Text)

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