voice

[am_i_a_monster]

[Abigail died in the deserted plot and has just been revived.]

Hello? Can anyone hear me? Is anyone out there? It's dark out. I can't see anyone. Please tell me I didn't go through all that just to be alone again.

[There's a moment of Abigail crying.]

I was dead. Am I still dead, is that what this is?

[Being alone feels like hell to her.]

Comments

[puzzlingly]

「There isn't much of a reaction, at least not yet. It is clearly not okay but Atem holds his words for a moment. But her reaction is much more telling than his. He scoots over closer to her, and grabs her hands gently pulling them away from her face.」

[am_i_a_monster]

[Abigail's hands shake as he pulls them away.  She doesn't meet his gaze, doesn't want to see the jude-side of him again.  And she doesn't want to think about Nick either. He's already in her dreams.]

[puzzlingly]

「Atem keeps her hands between his, not tightly in case she wants to move them away, but just as support; he can feel her shaking. He's not there to judge her, clearly he had done enough of that already.」

Why?

[am_i_a_monster]

I was scared.  My friend Marissa had been killed.  She was my best friend and her organs were cut out of her while she was still alive.   I found the body. 

[She can't help the tears at the memory.]   

I was in my dad's house.  It was after my dad died.  I had taken a knife and I was cutting open the pillows.  I wanted to get rid of the human hair that my dad had put in there. Nick Boyle broke in.  He said he wanted to talk, but I thought he killed Marissa.  I thought he'd kill me too.  I ran and he caught me and shoved me into a wall.  I couldn't get away.  I was still holding the knife in my hand.  And I killed him.  It was instinct.

[puzzlingly]

「It's definitely not what she did but the gruesome images that she narrates what makes Atem feel a shiver run down his spine. But he listens, his eyes on her for a moment afterwards.」

It wasn't your fault, Abigail.

「He brings a hand to her cheek, wiping the thread of a tear.」

You were afraid... you wanted to live.

「Which is why so outrageous what that Leo guy did to her, she did not deserve it.」

[am_i_a_monster]

[She shakes her head.]  But he was innocent.  Nick didn't kill Marissa.  He never killed anyone.  He wasn't going to kill me.  I was wrong.

I'm always afraid.  I always want to live.   It's why I did what my dad wanted.  [And what Hannibal wanted.]  I was even scared with Leo. 

[puzzlingly]

I know... Accidents happen, Abigail. You need to learn to forgive yourself... No one can do it for you, no one can just take it away and make it magically disappear.

「He's running out of things to say, he doubts more and more that Leo had done something good for her at all or if he had other motives to mess with her head.」

You're not alone in this, I can assure you that. I will not leave, and I will not turn my back at you. You're my friend and no matter what you did or didn't do, I'll be here for you.

[am_i_a_monster]

[Abigail has needed to hear that.  She pulls him into a tight hug and rests her head on her shoulder, crying softly.   She doesn't know if she should trust his words.  Anyone can disappear in this place; they're all subject to the whims of the gods.  She wants to believe that he'll always be there and she'll never feel so alone again.]  

Do you promise you won't leave me?  I couldn't take being alone again.

[puzzlingly]

「He knows he cannot make that promise, it's not up to him, he doesn't want to lie to her. But she needs this, everyone does, even him: to know that there is something, someone he can trust, someone that will be there for him. He's already left people behind, even in this place, he's let them down, they didn't have to be gone from Hadriel to be gone from his life.」

I promise I won't leave you.

「He says, giving a little squeeze to her hand. He is not going to leave, not his own account, he can promise that much.」