text; anonymous

[writtendestiny]

[She considers before she makes it anonymous. Poison's pride, battered as it is, still dictates that she doesn't allow herself to be seen asking such openly vulnerable questions.]

What is it called, when things that seem to mean nothing at the time make you remember bad things that have happened to you before? When you wake up at night because you feel as if it's happening all over again, even though you're safe?

I had thought that I felt safer here. I don't know why this is happening. It feels like I'm going mad.

Comments

text; also anonymous because HAH

[hardwearing]

[ This is not something Wash tends to address, because then people will say he has it, they'll call him on being certified, they'll question him now and he's fine really please stop. But he does want to help whoever this is, so figures out how to reply anonymously. He can't private it this way, but he'll try to disguise himself a bit.

He may not be very good at that part. ]

It's called PTSD. Post traumatic stress disorder. Reminders will send you back to a moment, but sometimes it's nothing at all. Sometimes it's just where your head is at.

Do you have nightmares?

[writtendestiny]

Yes.
More since I got here than before.

[hardwearing]

That's common too. Some people say it's your brain trying to work through it after the fact, when you're not in survival mode anymore. I think that's true for me, when life gets bad again it's actually... maybe not better, but easier to ignore the shitty memories. You're busy, you're focused.

Then when it's quiet, when you should feel safe, it all comes back up.

Someone once suggested keeping a journal if I couldn't bring myself to talk about it. I never tried but it's an idea. Get it out of your head at least. Maybe fill a book's worth and burn it, if you're into that kind of symbolic stuff.

[writtendestiny]

That makes sense.

[And she does like writing, after all.]

There would be a lot to write about. Where could I find a blank book?

[hardwearing]

I've seen them in the shops, but not often... I do have an empty one, though. I could leave it somewhere and you could go get it.

text

[am_i_a_monster]

I've had doctors call it different things. PTSD is a good name for it.

It's happening because you've been through a trauma, something really bad.

It might help if you find someone to talk to about it.

text; perma-anon

[writtendestiny]

I'd prefer to work it out for myself.

text;

[am_i_a_monster]

Than can lead to more bad stuff like flashbacks and nightmares. Being alone with trauma can really suck.

[writtendestiny]

You're not telling me anything helpful.

[am_i_a_monster]

The most helpful thing I can tell you is to find someone you can talk to about it. If there's really no one you can trust, then let it out somehow. Keeping it bottled up only makes it worse.

text; anon club

[dedikated]

( Well, Kate usually calls it some kind of bullshit when it happens to her but that isn't what she's being asked. )

Like smelling something that triggers a shit memory?

[writtendestiny]

Yes, things like that.
Seeing things, too. Or hearing things. Or sometimes it's nothing and it just happens.

[dedikated]

Home calls it PTSD too. Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder. Hear about it when they're talking about soldiers or abuse survivors.

( Unfortunately, she's not qualified or even remotely in the position to tell anyone what to do about their trauma other than speak to someone. That's why they've got shrinks, isn't it? )

[writtendestiny]

I think that makes sense. But I don't understand why it's only happening now.

[dedikated]

As opposed to when?

( Side note: is everyone in this city traumatised? Were the gods lying and is that the real criteria for being pulled here? )

No expert on the stuff. Not like we've got a library, either.

( And even when they had a library, the books were mostly useless because they were in alien languages or because they were so obscure as to be wholly absurd. )

not anon.

[puzzlingly]

if you need to get some dreamless sleep i can help with that

still anon;

[writtendestiny]

Help how.

[puzzlingly]

i can imbue tea with magic
it will not help you solve your problems but you can get a break from the nightmares

[writtendestiny]

I'd rather have the nightmares than trust a stranger's magic.

text

[northerndragon]

Fear.

Fear comes whether you will it or not. I'm not sure anyone wills it.

What do you do when you're afraid? You're not going to go mad.

[At least, he doesn't think so.

And all these years, he remembers those dreams of the wight with his father's face.

Not his father, as it turns out.]

[writtendestiny]

[Jon is the first to say this, and yet also the first to say something that Poison immediately understands. It doesn't quite fit, but she understands it.]

But I'm not afraid anymore.

text

[sciencelizard]

i think thats what happens when something rly bad has happened to you
sometimes you dont panic when something happens because you have to like
live thru it
but when you come out you still have all the panic
have you talked to someone about it?
or well maybe this is talking to some LOL

[writtendestiny]

A lot of people are telling me to talk to somebody.
But no one seems to be interested in being that person.
I wonder why that is?

[sciencelizard]

well uhm
we dont know who you are, for starters
and also sometimes you need to talk to a professional?
or like a close friend
like it should be someone you trust</font.

[writtendestiny]

I don't think I trust anyone here.
Not yet.

Maybe one person, but I don't think he'd want to hear me talk about this.