Flower PSA

[glazedonutholes]

[ The recording opens with Donut standing in front of his bed that's currently covered in an ocean of flower petals. Beside him stands a decorated bike that holds a few bouquets. ]

Hey guys! Private Donut here from the popular Bluehaus with another friendly PSA. 

As you all know, it's February and that means love is in the air! For those of you unfamiliar with Earth lingo, this is the month we celebrate a little thing called Valentine's Day! It's a day when a guy in a diaper named Cupid hits you with an arrow and BAM! Instant love at first sight! Isn't it great?! 

[ He vibrates with giddy delight. ]

Well! I've been hard at work collecting all sorts of seeds in anticipation and now it's time for all of them to bloom! As your friendly neighborhood Flower God, I'll be making fresh bouquets for anyone who wants them! And this month only [ he throws his hands out to show off the bike - TADA! ] - 
I'll be making home deliveries!

You just tell me what you'd like and [he starts reciting the postal service motto ] neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays this Flower God from swift delivery! I got all sorts of bouquets for all tastes! There's your friendship ones, your first date ones, pure love, wild love, going steady, and all sorts of other ones for every occasion! 

So... [ Here he rocks back on his heels, his hands behind his back. ] I was thinking, if any of you have a little time to spare next month, maybe you can help me set-up a real flower shop and help me move-in upstairs? You know what they say, it takes a village. 

[ He keeps rocking back and forth on his heels, buzzing with so many vibrant emotions they spill over and behind him the larkspur flowers start to bloom. Reds and blues. Purples. Whites. A whole rainbow of colors come to life. ]

Either way, I love Valentine's Day, so I'd do this for free! [ He smiles before remembering - ] I'll be accepting orders all month! 

[ He waves at the recording. ] 

Happy Hearts! 

Comments

[glazedonutholes]

Yup! Got hand-picked by Heaven and everything! I even had my own heavenly servant before I landed here.

[circumitus]

Ah. Okay.

...Fuck.

[Come on, that's not the weirdest thing she's ever seen here or anything.]

Was that a thing you always did, or...?

[glazedonutholes]

A thing? [ A curious look. ] If you're talking about the flowers. I've been pressing flowers into my diary for years! The guys and I had a lot of down time so in between reading Vogue, trying new fad diets and cleaning our weapons, I read all about flower language. It was sort of like an extracurricular activity.

[circumitus]

R... ight. Flower pressing and weapons cleaning are pretty far crys from one another as far as downtimes go.

[Rey mostly just spent hers taking stuff apart and putting them back together, or reading, or literally anything that didn't have to do with social activities most of the time.]

Never really got the whole flower thing. A cactus sounds more lucrative... or a bonsai tree. [Now there's an idea -- not that she would know who to deliver any of those things to.]

[glazedonutholes]

Not at Red Base. I got Sarge to approve a whole slew of progressive initiatives after whining at him for hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and hours and -- well, let's just say, I got my point across.

[ He claps his hands. ]

Wow! Really! Sice cactus have the most passionate meanings I couldn't agree more!

[circumitus]

Ah.

[Hang on, he just said passionate? About a prickly succulent plant?]

Wait, what-- The hell does that mean? What do cactuses mean?