Flower PSA

[glazedonutholes]

[ The recording opens with Donut standing in front of his bed that's currently covered in an ocean of flower petals. Beside him stands a decorated bike that holds a few bouquets. ]

Hey guys! Private Donut here from the popular Bluehaus with another friendly PSA. 

As you all know, it's February and that means love is in the air! For those of you unfamiliar with Earth lingo, this is the month we celebrate a little thing called Valentine's Day! It's a day when a guy in a diaper named Cupid hits you with an arrow and BAM! Instant love at first sight! Isn't it great?! 

[ He vibrates with giddy delight. ]

Well! I've been hard at work collecting all sorts of seeds in anticipation and now it's time for all of them to bloom! As your friendly neighborhood Flower God, I'll be making fresh bouquets for anyone who wants them! And this month only [ he throws his hands out to show off the bike - TADA! ] - 
I'll be making home deliveries!

You just tell me what you'd like and [he starts reciting the postal service motto ] neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays this Flower God from swift delivery! I got all sorts of bouquets for all tastes! There's your friendship ones, your first date ones, pure love, wild love, going steady, and all sorts of other ones for every occasion! 

So... [ Here he rocks back on his heels, his hands behind his back. ] I was thinking, if any of you have a little time to spare next month, maybe you can help me set-up a real flower shop and help me move-in upstairs? You know what they say, it takes a village. 

[ He keeps rocking back and forth on his heels, buzzing with so many vibrant emotions they spill over and behind him the larkspur flowers start to bloom. Reds and blues. Purples. Whites. A whole rainbow of colors come to life. ]

Either way, I love Valentine's Day, so I'd do this for free! [ He smiles before remembering - ] I'll be accepting orders all month! 

[ He waves at the recording. ] 

Happy Hearts! 

Comments

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[lovernotafighter]

is that what that smell was?!

[glazedonutholes]

I got you didn't I?! I pulled it off right under your noses!

[ He's so proud of himself. ]

[lovernotafighter]

[At least someone's proud of Donut. Want me to call Doc to treat that Buuuuurn?]

yeaaaaah. why couldn't you just be like grif and stockpile food? or weapons? or something useful? why flowers?

[glazedonutholes]

[ Hey! Don't be a meanie! ]

Flowers are the language of love and there's nothing more expensive than love~ You should know about that. If you ask me, everyone under this roof could use a little more of it, but don't worry, Donut's got you covered. ;)

[lovernotafighter]

[What? Tucker likes it rough.]

dude this house gets enough love, if the pounding on the walls when Church and i are getting it on say anything

flowers are romance. different.

[glazedonutholes]

Tucker! That's not love! That's Half-Minute Hero!

Besides! You can't have love without romance.

Love is emotions in motion.

[lovernotafighter]

THAT HAPPENED ONE TIME!!!

[Fuck, how do people KNOW about that?! It was Epsilon's fault, anyway; he did that thing with his tongu--]

ok but why have either?

[glazedonutholes]

[ A gasp! ]

What do you mean why?! Free Willy won't make you happy! It's love that keeps you warm at night!

[lovernotafighter]

i thought that was the ten blankets to stop church's ice cold toes from getting on me.

1/2

[glazedonutholes]

That's not what I meant!

2/2

[glazedonutholes]

Warm as in love.

It counters that feeling of being all alone in the world.

[lovernotafighter]

[He's not about to tell you that he's in love with Epsilon. Nope. No way. He'd never hear the end of it.

So, it's time to lie about it.]

how can i feel alone when you guys are always on my ass?

[glazedonutholes]

Oh, that. That was just because I had a limited supply of bath bombs. I was right, though. We would have saved more if we'd just share.

[lovernotafighter]

annnnd im out

[glazedonutholes]

But, you didn't tell me what bouquet you want for Epsilon.

[lovernotafighter]

epsilon? pretty sure he doesnt like flowers

[glazedonutholes]

What do you mean? Everyone likes flowers.

[lovernotafighter]

did he tell you he wanted some?

[glazedonutholes]

It's Valentine's Day! Of course everyone wants Flowers!

[lovernotafighter]

you ask epsilon and see if he wants them. if he does, i guess ill come and pick some out for him? is that how this works?

[glazedonutholes]

But I can't ask him!!! It'll ruin the surprise!

[lovernotafighter]

pretty sure its not a surprise if he doesnt care

[glazedonutholes]

Why are you like this! All of you!

[ And he hangs up, not happy, not happy at all. ]