Flower PSA

[glazedonutholes]

[ The recording opens with Donut standing in front of his bed that's currently covered in an ocean of flower petals. Beside him stands a decorated bike that holds a few bouquets. ]

Hey guys! Private Donut here from the popular Bluehaus with another friendly PSA. 

As you all know, it's February and that means love is in the air! For those of you unfamiliar with Earth lingo, this is the month we celebrate a little thing called Valentine's Day! It's a day when a guy in a diaper named Cupid hits you with an arrow and BAM! Instant love at first sight! Isn't it great?! 

[ He vibrates with giddy delight. ]

Well! I've been hard at work collecting all sorts of seeds in anticipation and now it's time for all of them to bloom! As your friendly neighborhood Flower God, I'll be making fresh bouquets for anyone who wants them! And this month only [ he throws his hands out to show off the bike - TADA! ] - 
I'll be making home deliveries!

You just tell me what you'd like and [he starts reciting the postal service motto ] neither snow nor rain nor heat nor gloom of night stays this Flower God from swift delivery! I got all sorts of bouquets for all tastes! There's your friendship ones, your first date ones, pure love, wild love, going steady, and all sorts of other ones for every occasion! 

So... [ Here he rocks back on his heels, his hands behind his back. ] I was thinking, if any of you have a little time to spare next month, maybe you can help me set-up a real flower shop and help me move-in upstairs? You know what they say, it takes a village. 

[ He keeps rocking back and forth on his heels, buzzing with so many vibrant emotions they spill over and behind him the larkspur flowers start to bloom. Reds and blues. Purples. Whites. A whole rainbow of colors come to life. ]

Either way, I love Valentine's Day, so I'd do this for free! [ He smiles before remembering - ] I'll be accepting orders all month! 

[ He waves at the recording. ] 

Happy Hearts! 

Comments

[ragnarsson]

He makes me feel... [Great, he has to quantify his feelings. Not easy for an emotionally-stunted psychopath. Eventually, he answers, his face a lot softer than it usually is.] ...safe. Like I'm home with my family again. I feel like I can trust him with anything. He's far nicer to me than I know I deserve.

[glazedonutholes]

Well, Mister. They sound like a pretty awesome person. I think I can come up with something to make your feelings shine through!

[ragnarsson]

Good. But if he doesn't like them, I will blame you.

[He says this while playing around with a very large knife in the hand not holding his device.]

[glazedonutholes]

Oh, you don't have to worry about that. I've got loads of experience with this stuff. I am a Flower god after all. I'll make sure he gets only the best. After all, a taken heart is a rare commodity most people don't ever get to hold.

[ragnarsson]

A god of flowers? [He blinks slowly.] I suppose it takes all sorts in this world.

[glazedonutholes]

Yup! That's what I say.

Now, what's the lucky guy's name?

[ragnarsson]

Alfred. He's a Saxon king.

[And Ivar is clearly enamored with him.]

[glazedonutholes]

Got it!

I'll pencil him in right away!