Video 1

[theladyofhighever]

[the video opens with a sixteen year old girl who is doing her best to appear self-assured and confident. she's in armor and she's sitting ramrod straight in a plain, wooden chair. she takes a deep breath and speaks]

Hello. My name is Lady Mariane Cousland and I'm looking for sparring partners. I use a sword and dagger, but I'm willing to fight with any kind of swordsman. Or swordswoman.

I'm also willing to teach others to fight, so please let me know if you'd be interested in that.

[she looks away from the camera briefly, as though debating with herself whether or not to say anything more]

Any responses would be very much appreciated. Thank you.

Comments

[dragonsgrasp]

I've fought countless monsters in my time... so I can only imagine. If they're far beyond that, then... your world will have a lot of work ahead, to make a true recovery.

[theladyofhighever]

It will. Some parts of Ferelden may never fully recover. It will be the work of more than one lifetime. I can only pray that when I return, am wedded and crowned queen, that Alistair and I have an heir. Soon.

[even though she knows it's virtually impossible for two Grey Wardens to conceive a child. she'll go to anyone, try any remedy to ensure an heir. failure is not an option]

[dragonsgrasp]

I wish you well in that endeavor. It's no easy path to walk... but it must be done. It seems quite common around here, unfortunately, to have so much undone left back home. But that's all the more reason why we must work toward getting back.

[Will it truly happen someday? Who knows. He's not one to be too optimistic about that, but he won't give up entirely, either.]

[theladyofhighever]

Indeed. It almost makes one wonder if that is why were were chosen--leaving so much unfinished back home is likely to provoke a severe emotional response. And we will go home. Perhaps not as soon as we'd like, but we will get there.

[Mariane knows it's possible to go home and she refuses to give up hope that she will]

[dragonsgrasp]

Perhaps you're on to something. I've often wondered whether our being brought here is truly all that random, if they chose us for a reason... it very well could be as you say.

[After all, it's true that everything the gods do is to generate the most emotional response. That would make sense, in the overall grand scheme of things.]

[theladyofhighever]

Indeed. Almost all of us, we seem to be at turning points in our worlds or we have died in them. Were I searching for individuals with strong emotions, they would be who I would choose.

[which is rather frustrating because she wants nothing more than to go home, marry Alistair, and begin the work of healing Ferelden, including bearing his child. but she supposes that very frustration must be feeding someone, most likely Rage]

[dragonsgrasp]

Yes, it's probably no coincidence... they might have somehow been drawn to us because of those reasons. It would explain a lot.

[He has a lot of guilt that he still carries with him even now, and a road to redemption to return to. Of course, it was probably either Sorrow or Confusion interested in him, given a lot of his past. They all have something, apparently. It's all the more reason to fight for a return home somehow.]

[theladyofhighever]

Indeed. Which makes their taking advantage of us all the more loathesome.

[she truly loves Alistair, but she holds a great deal of sorrow for the loss of almost her entire family.
and she was going to be Queen of Ferelden, a long-held, but thought impossible ambition. she wonders which god would be attracted by ambition]

[dragonsgrasp]

It does. They've used our emotions for their own purposes ever since we were brought here... no one deserves to be exploited in such a way.

[Having one's emotions toyed with is bad enough, and it's even worse when it's done in the uncontrollable way it often happens here.]

[theladyofhighever]

[a bitter smile] Ah, but we are. And there is little we can do about it. After all, one cannot simply refuse to feel.

[even though she tries to every day she's here]

[dragonsgrasp]

It's a shame we can't control that, but you're right. There's no escape from feelings... no matter how hard one might attempt to hide them.

[That's his way of dealing, hide the feelings, push them down, and don't let anyone know they're there. It's... sort of worked, until it finally backfired.]

[theladyofhighever]

And even hidden emotions still have meaning.

[that's what she's been doing here. it was different with the Blight companions, she needed to trust them and needed them to trust her in order to succeed. and if that meant showing a little emotion now and then, so be it]

[dragonsgrasp]

Unfortunately so. There are few things worse than having those feelings exploited.

[It's happened quite a few times here, unfortunately, and once in a pretty major way back home. He wouldn't mind having a break from it all, someday. But it seems there's always someone powerful out there eager to exploit others' emotions.]

[theladyofhighever]

Yes. Our emotions ought to be our own, to share or hide at will.

[and she tends to hide hers, even from her closest friends. it's not that she doesn't trust them, she doesn't trust herself]

[dragonsgrasp]

Exactly. In my experience... it's for the best that certain feelings are kept inside.

[It's only ever caused pain, when those secretive feelings are revealed, so why let them out?]

[theladyofhighever]

Yes. Very much so.

[and she thinks about her carefully hidden love for Morrigan, something she intends to speak of to no one. Alistair would never understand and Morrigan herself is long gone. there would be no use in confession]

[dragonsgrasp]

Which gives us quite a challenge here. All we can do is keep persisting, even when things happen beyond our control.

[He's determined, perhaps more determined than ever to fight and keep his mind as guarded as he can.]

[theladyofhighever]

Especially when things happen beyond our control.

[as is she. her mind is her own]

[dragonsgrasp]

Especially then. That's often when we must fight the hardest.

[At least he's not one to give up, when it comes to it. He's often preparing for the worst to happen.]

[theladyofhighever]

I'm no stranger to fighting.

[as is she. she knows that the civil war in Ferelden left deep divisions and that not all who swore fealty to their new king will be true. that's where his future queen will come in]

[dragonsgrasp]

Which is for the best, here.

[Even if some among them are untrained, if they have enough experienced fighters, it will surely help in their struggles. Plus, they can train some of the less experienced in even some basics, it will surely help.]

[theladyofhighever]

Certainly. That's why I'm offering lessons and asking for sparring partners. It would not do to allow my skills to wane here.

[she hopes that she can do what she can to help others. she's never actually taught before, but she remembers her mother's lessons starting from when she was old enough to stand]

[dragonsgrasp]

Agreed. Fortunately, there are enough of us who are willing to spar... I just hope that all those who don't have any such skills will be willing to train.

[That's going to be all too important, soon enough, after all.]

[theladyofhighever]

That is my hope as well.

[she thinks back to her first look at the Null during the prisoner exchange and represses a shudder]

[dragonsgrasp]

That's something for us to keep working on, then.

[Since who knows when the Null will attack again. Not if, definitely when.]