hadriel | ❅ Seventeen (Text)

I don't mean to pry but that seems like it comes from someone who knows. I would not wish any hurt on you but I am gladdened if you have met someone who has helped.

As for me, the one I want will not have me. How can I hope to move on from that? To find someone else. Once I thought I could marry for duty, now I know what it might feel like, I don't want too.

[He could probably start by not stalking the woman he was in love with and trying to move on like a normal person, but he wouldnt. He would move on kicking and screaming]

Before I knew his true nature, King Joffrey was someone I naively loved. I was willing to do what it took to marry him; I wanted to be his queen and give him children.

(She tries not to be too hard on her younger self. But it's difficult. She can clearly see how willfully blind she had been - and how stupid.)

Love wrote a name on my wrist too, recently, and I was drawn to someone else. The feelings frighten me, but my eyes are open this time. I won't be blinded by a pretty face.

(How can anyone move on from a deep love? Then again...)

If your love isn't returned, can you truly call it a relationship? I agree that you deserve more than marriage for duty, but you also need to be loved.

[There was that name again. He sincerely hoped Joffrey showed up in Hadriel so they could have a 'chat'. Kelson did not like what he heard about the young man, from both Sansa and Margaery.]

I know your land is not a kind one, but I am at least heartened that you did not marry him.

[He didn't even want to think about Joffrey around small children, or Joffrey with Sansa.]

You at least had the best intentions. And now perhaps you know better. Is the person you felt love for kind this time?

[Kelson did not know better.]

Perhaps not, I'm sure she still loves me, even if she will not have me. That's something though isn't it? She might still change her mind.

(Joffrey will have "chats" with many people at this rate. But that's for the best. If he were to arrive and hurt someone, Sansa would feel responsible for not warning enough people.)

Lady Margaery married him and I feel awful for what she had to endure.

(Joffrey shouldn't have been around anyone. He should have been imprisoned by himself.)

Yes. She - (She.) is as kind as she is beautiful.

My lord, please do not wait for her. She is avoiding you for a reason. Should her feelings change in the future, she needs to approach you.

[Kelson would feel responsible as well. Joffrey may not be from his world but he was a king and peer and if he failed to adequately control him, Kelson would be miserable.]

I feel terrible for what any of you had to endure with him. That is not what a king should be, but that does not stop it from happening. Gwynedd had it's share, as has the rest of the Eleven Kingdoms. I wish I could say Joffrey and his tendencies were unique to your world, but I cannot.

[Kings were infallible, they were people after all, just people with enormous power. And people came in all types.]

I know her reasons quite well. I don't agree. I can still change her mind. There's hope. There has to be.

[Even if he knew others like Margaery and his council emphatically did not agree with him. That probably should have told him something about his choice of action but he refused to see that too.]

She?

[That was....new. Well perhaps not new but not something he usually thought about. It wasn't all that talked about back home.

(If she can't throttle Joffrey or poison him somehow, she would be sure to get help.)

I know he isn't unique. Monsters are numerous and they exist in every single world, I suspect.

Perhaps life would be boring without them?

(That last sentence carries a sense of tired acceptance.)

You should live your life and keep your heart open for other loves; loves that return your feelings.

(Otherwise he is doomed to be miserable. Even if he has her, he will worry about her leaving.)

I was surprised too! I've never been attracted to a woman.

Monsters not even confined to position as king. They are everywhere. I think I would rather take boring. A nice private dinner with friends and family instead of having to deal with.....everything else.

[Kelson looked down, pausing in his text>

She does return my feelings. She just wont marry me.

[Kelson is doomed to trudge after her for another four years, and even then, part of him will always love her. But first love is tumultuous and extreme and he is unwilling to give it up.]

Are you still?

[Kelson supposed as long as she wasn't hurting anyone, it was probably all right. He just hoped whatever games these beings played hadn't hurt her too much.]

That does sound nice. I can cook a nice dinner, but I can't do anything about what sort of horrors the deities produce.

(Oh. Oh? That's -)

Why does she object to marriage? Does she not want to be queen? I can understand her being fearful of that position.

(Kelson.)

I care for her. Still. I don't know how she feels or if she will wish to speak to me, but -

I want her to be happy.

Few I believe have the power to contend with these beings. But perhaps a nice dinner can counteract some of the horror we've been through. I can bring some wine.

[Yes, Kelson's feelings for Rothana are.....extreme. Most of his council lords are willing to see him marry almost anyone at this point. If only it isn't the nun he's chasing after.]

She....married my younger cousin when I was believed dead and became Queen for a month. He was executed for murder, attempted murder, assault and high treason. She no longer considers herself and her child worthy of Gwynedd. None of his actions stain her own.

Will you not try to speak with her? If you do not try, you may never know.

[Then again taking advice from someone who was stalking a nun and his dead cousin's wife against all warning to the contrary might not be the best idea Sansa.]

Edited 2019-03-10 13:47 (UTC)

That sounds lovely. Let me know when you are free and I will begin the preparations.

(She had thought herself so in love with Joffrey that she might have been similar to Kelson, so she can't judge him too harshly.)

She must be frightened. Whether or not she is blamed for his actions is inconsequential; she likely blames herself and worries for her child's safety. Loving you complicates things more because, as a mother, her first responsibility is to her child.

(Then she is back to her ordeal.)

I will find the courage to speak to her soon.

[He almost asked if they needed a chaperone but then stopped himself from being silly. If he didn't need one with Margaery for all the time they spent together, a dinner with Sansa would be fine. He hoped. But, old habits. As for the comparison to Sansa's infatuation with Joffrey, the situation is not dissimilar. Kelson is as blind as Sansa was.]

I shall, I will quite look forward to it.

[Kelson takes a breath before he continues to type.]

I would never hurt her child. I want him raised at court, as he should be. Rothana wants him hidden away and raised for the religious life. The boy should have a choice, no matter the possible consequences.

[It had been pointed out that the boy could easily one day threaten Kelson's throne, or that of his children. But he believed a king who could not stand his ground to keep his crown did not deserve it.]

You understand much for someone who has not born a child. Unless I'm mistaken?

(He isn't going to take advantage of her; she trusts that. Besides, if she really needs a chaperone, she can quickly call on Lord Fingon or her brother, Jon.)

As do I.

(His words make her sad for him. She knows he wouldn't hurt a child.)

She is worried he will be assassinated. You can't protect him or her from those who think ill of them.

Wait until he is of age and then give him the choice.

(Until then, she supposes they can trade letters so the boy knows Kelson is a good king and kind soul.)

Can you write to him?

No, I've never had a child. I want them, eventually, but the only children I've known well are my siblings.

Edited 2019-03-12 08:26 (UTC)

[Rothana trusted Kelson too, and yet his hand still found it's way into bodice of her gown.]

I know.She's worried for him, she's worried for me, she's worried he might follow in his fathers footsteps and challenge me. It will surely happen if he grows up being denied what was rightfully his as a prince.

Both his mother and his grandfather do not agree with me.

I would be willing to raise the boy....my own children would just have an older half brother. What's the harm in that? The priesthood isn't any protection from threatening my throne either.

I wish they'd let him choose.

[Thankfully as of yet Kelson has not made the leap from wanting the child and wanting to do whats right, to demanding and threatening to kidnap the boy and take Rothana as his wife all against their wills. ]

I could write when he's old enough. I would hope that his mother would bring him to court often enough but, I suppose I should not hope for that.

I hope you get what you want, you would be a splendid mother.

(Sansa isn't above slapping, Kelson.)

You are a good man, my lord, and I think her son would be lucky to have you as a father figure. However his lady mother needs time and space to make a decision of that import. You are in a troublesome position as you will be expected to marry, will you not? Or are your children heir enough for the throne?

(Yes, everyone would be happy then; all locked up and confused. Sansa urges him not to take that route!)

You never know. She is frightened, but that fear will lessen with time.

All I wish is to survive the upcoming war and see Winterfell prosper again.

[Why was it that no one he talked to about this agreed with him!? If only Sansa could see his face when she brought up marriage. He was sour and exasperated.]

Not you too. At least you don't have a trunk full of portraits of eligible ladies for me to look at. Or want me to meet your sister.

I hope her fear will lessen. I only want the best for them. For us. As I know you want for yours.

(Kelson, you don't want to go down that road.)

I didn't mean to make you feel forced, my lord. Royalty is expected to produce heirs - multiple heirs to be safe. Otherwise the throne may not be secure.

I want the best for you too.

[Oh but he does, he just fails to realize the consequences of such an action. Hormones and first love. Boy needs a talk on consent.]

No, not forced. It's nothing I have not heard before. Many, many, many times. Everyone wants the traditional heir and a spare. What I want doesn't seem to matter.

Sorry. That sounded pechalent didn't it?

What you want matters to me. I know you are in love and if you could have heirs with her, you would be delighted by the...process.

(Nope, she's not thinking about him having sex. Not one bit. ~~Okay, a little bit.~~)

You are a man; expecting you to be above heartache is silly.

Edited (I can code. I am a professional.) 2019-03-15 10:29 (UTC)

[I'm a king, heartache is supposed to be irrelevent when it comes to duty.]>

[It's okay, now he was thinking about it too.]

Yes, I'm told the ...process as you put it is enjoyable. That's hardly the point isn't it? I'm more than just a body.

[And yet time and time again Kelson forgets he's a body as well. Stop ignoring it Kelson.]

You are expected to overcome it as a king; that doesn't make it irrelevant.

No, I meant the process would be enjoyable with the lady you love. Because you would be more than a body and she would be more than a brood mare.

(Being used as a brood mare is something she has experienced, unfortunately.)

What if I don't want to overcome it. I know I have too if she wont relent. Gwynedd must have a queen. I just dont want too. What I want certainly seems irrelevent when I'm being pressured to take another queen.

[You see what his council is dealing with? An eighteen year old king pining after his first love having realized after four years of mature rule as a child thrust in an adult world that he can throw tantrums]

I would much prefer a queen to a brood mare. That's why Rothana was perfect. I cared for her, she was skilled, highly adept in politics and magic. She would have been able to share the responsibility rather than just be a royal brood mare]

We all must do things we would rather not.

(She was betrothed once and married twice against her wishes. The betrothal and the second marriage proved to be the most abusive and Sansa bears the scars under her dress.)

There are other wonderful women, I assure you. It would be tragic if you closed your heart to all others.

Edited 2019-03-16 17:00 (UTC)

I pray you are right. It's a pity we are not in Gwynedd, I'm sure you would have made a fine queen. If I cannot have love, I would much rather have friendship.

I'm not sure I am fit to be a queen, but if you asked it of me in Gwynedd, I would try.

Why is it almost every woman I've asked that question too has given me that same answer? Why do you think yourself so unworthy, Sansa?

[At least that wasn't a complete no.]

You would have me?

❅ Seventeen (Text)

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