hadriel | [Video]

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[His eyes are a deep gold instead of their usual blue, yet Anakin is forcing himself to stay still. He is sitting in a meditative position, making himself breathe deeply and evenly.]

It's a shame to not use this power.

[There is no one in the populace currently that has earned his ire, so Anakin has to swallow his anger, tucking it away along with many, many other jumbled emotions.]

Give me something I can use or send me back.

[So he can continue making horrible mistakes. Really, his future is stunning.]

We are stronger than our anger...than our fear... [Says the man who gives into both.] Strike it down.

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But it feels so liberating to follow our feelings for once.

Oh, but if you want I will strike you down.

Do you think you could manage it? [Think twice before you go there, Rydia.]

I would certainly love to try. [Is anyone even thinking straight under Rage's influnce?]

Then you are welcome to find me... [Here, have some directions.]

As lovely as it sounds and as much as I'd love to dedicate you some of my time I am currently hunting down someone... perhaps later? I have a very busy schedule at the momen.

[Somewhere, his saner self is breathing a sigh of relief. She is too cute to hurt.]

Don't get in over your head, kid.

Yeah, no. Most people seem to have given in and it seems risky to try and pretend everything's dandy when people actively seem to want me dead. [ Maybe it's Fear's influence (it is) but ignoring the anxious desire to run seems counter-intuitive to her survival. ]

Does that make you prey? [Start running...now.] You really should stay out of sight.

Thanks for the advice but I'm way ahead of you there. [ She doesn't feel the need so much to run as to hide, which she has. She's taking full advantage of her abilities and has taken to the fog for cover; scary for her, maybe, but more dangerous for angry fools who aren't aware of what they're walking into. ]

You just keep practicing deep breathing and meditation, though. [ Just for everybody else's sake. ]

That doesn't appeal to me. [He wants to cut everyone down and then...

He isn't sure.] Keep hidden and don't use your communicator much.

[Look at him, trying to be a teacher while enraged. Isn't that cute?]

I've been meaning to ask- have you ever considered taking up an instrument? Drums, perhaps?

[Because Anakin, you need a better way to vent than murder. ]

Are you amusing yourself, Elf? [Anakin, play nice.] I could use you as a drum.

At the moment, I think it best to take care not to be too amused at anything.

[Lest he find his sense of humor has taken the turn toward the sadistic. More than he's already noticed, at any rate.]

Would it shock you to find out I'm not terribly partial to the notion?

Unless you are sadistic.

[Are you sadistic, Fingon? He is suspicious and enraged and neither emotion has anything to do with the other.]

I don't want you to enjoy it.

[ANAKIN.]

Unlike the gods, apparently, I'd rather not encourage the trait. Within myself, as much as anyone else.

[Not usually. Who knows what's happening now, thank you Rage and Hadriel.]

I am aware. I do know a threat when I hear one, Anakin.

It would be easier if I were sadistic.

[But he's not. At all.]

Fingon, all I can do is hurt.

That would only give you one more thing for which to loathe yourself.

[It might be a small blessing that he isn't, in that sense.]

Really? You've never done anything else?

But I wouldn't loathe myself then. I wouldn't feel much of anything.

[He could be like Palpatine. Isn't that a nice image?]

I can't remember.

Oh, Anakin. One can still care for people and delight in causing pain, I'm afraid. Even to people one loves. That you are not that is a good thing, not a bad one.

[Palpatine is a mortal Morgoth and is not comparable to normal people. Someone toss him beyond the Doors of Night and throw away the key.]

You know you're being influenced, right now. All of us are. That may be affecting your memories.

[So might Anakin's general sense of confusion and despair, but we'll start with the big obvious problems first.]

Edited 2019-04-04 17:20 (UTC)

[ She's noticed the heightened emotion in the city, and resolved to keep an eye out for potential fires that might need putting out. Here's one worthy of immediate attention. ]

Certainly advice to follow.

[ And a bit at odds with his first statement. Normally she'd want to point out the contrast, or tease him, but she sees him as he is now and she sees him as he was when he'd intended murder. ]

Where are you?

[ He's obviously trying to keep calm. Maybe she can help him succeed if she's there. Maybe she can help if he doesn't succeed. ]

[Her voice strikes an odd chord within him and he blinks, the gold of his eyes receding for a moment to give way to his usual blue.]

Snips.

[Is she affected too? Pushing down his focus-less rage, he tries to read her expression.]

I think it's best if you stay away.

[So he doesn't end up fighting her.]

I'd rather not hurt you.

You think that's likely?

[ That they're both thinking the same thought isn't comforting. The knowledge she knows she can't share is at the tip of her tongue; Ahsoka swallows it. After a moment, words form again. ]

I don't want you to be alone.

[ And of course they end up being what she'd said before. She can't help it. It's still true. Small mercy, her not being affected. She has enough to deal with from her own emotions. ]

If you know what's best for you.

[Neither of them have ever known that. Is that danger? No problem! Is that certain death? Sure!]

That's kind of you.

[IS IT KINDNESS? He trusts nothing and no one.]

Are you itching for a duel?

[ She doesn't know that it's best for herself. She thinks it might be best for others, now she knows that it's entirely possible for him to give in to this.

Her expression is firm with resolve. ]

Would that help with the effect?

[ She's really not. But if he's going to look for one anyway, better that it be against her. She can survive him, at least for a while. ]

[The effect... Anakin knows this isn't entirely his doing, but it feels normal for him. He has been harboring such anger for ages and he wants an outlet.

Not against her, though.]

Don't put me in that position, Snips.

[He has enough guilt weighing him down, burying him deep in the Dark.]

[ She stares, at a loss. She doesn't want to make him feel worse--it would only compound the problem. And she doesn't want to be the one to hurt him by doing that. ]

I don't want that. But I-

[ Doing nothing is against her nature. But then, isn't that what she had learned before coming here? He hadn't wanted her to stay with him then either. She couldn't save him. ]

I understand, but I want you to know I'm here. Listening. Is there anything you would like me to do?

[ That's what she had learned. It was his choice to make. So she offers him one. ]

...stay. Wait for me. [When the rage lessens, when he is able to see above this storm, he will want to see her.] I didn't think I would see you again.

[He loves her dearly and she is a source of Light for him. He doesn't want to ruin her.]

Neither did I.

[ Really. And though it's hard, she wouldn't trade it away. She nods, the knot in her stomach loosening. That's something to hold onto, when she's been unmoored for a long time. ]

All right. I can do that.

[ Waiting is fine. Waiting with hope is better still.

It's a small thing, for the friend she'd thought lost to her forever. ]

[He likes seeing her - even if it's safer to keep distance between them. For now.]

You look good. You've grown.

[Which was inevitable, but it's nice to see.]

Are you stronger?

You could say that.

[small] If circumstances were different, she would've told him she had him on his knees not too long ago in her time, and she would've said it proudly. [/small]

I haven't had much chance to practice, but I was already used to learning on the go.

[small] Given the war they'd been thrown in. [/small]

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