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[wipedclean]

[The soldier is usually pretty stern, intimidating, all that jazz, but right now he's downright grumpy. And... snarly. Clearly he's not in a good mood.]

Why. The fuck. Are these fucking fireflies everywhere?

[Speaking of, here's one fluttering against his shoulder right now. His hand slams down on top of it, squashing it. He growls.]

They are getting in the way and they are making Steve forget he has to eat. Is there a way to stop them other than crushing them one by one?

Comments

[barbarus]

[ It's still not ideal, though. Take an addict away from their fix, and they'll miss it. ]

Perhaps you could make him happy.

Truly happy, without needing the fireflies. You're his friend, aren't you?

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I was, once.

[He says it quietly, seriously. He doesn't remember it, except in flashes, but it... it feels right.]

I changed. [Was changed. By outside forces. To be better.] I don't know how anymore. [Better isn't good enough if he can't help Steve, make him happy.]

[barbarus]

[ That's not what Steve said. It makes Damen look curiously at Bucky.

His obvious care for the young man is strange, if he wouldn't even call them friends. ]

But you've not abandoned him. You care for his happiness.

Don't you?

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Yes.

[That answer is easy. He still doesn't understand why it is, not really, but it's a simple enough response regardless.]

[barbarus]

And you won't abandon him to this. You want to help.

[ Less of a question this time. These two obviously have a more complicated relationship than he'd guessed. ]

[wipedclean]

Yes.

[Again, a simple answer. He wouldn't abandon Steve to anything.]

[barbarus]

[ Damen's shoulders roll, like a shrug that doesn't quite get there. His attitude to these things is very simple. He doesn't really understand why it can't be for everyone. ]

Then you are his friend, aren't you? What is a friend, but someone who cares for your good, and won't leave you to the bad?

[wipedclean]

[He shifts again, considers. By that definition, yes, Steve is his friend.

A part of him wants to accept it, hold it close.

But another part whispers angrily.]

I'm not... supposed. To have friends.

[He speaks awkwardly, brokenly. Still afraid of Hydra to show up and tell him what he already knows: he's overdue for maintenance. He's malfunctioning, in little ways, that are building up over time.]

[barbarus]

[ A small shift, in turn - careful and curious, measuring Bucky. ]

According to whom?

Not him. [ This meaning Steve, who Damen can't see, but who he assumes is close. ] He's the one who told me you were.

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My... [He hesitates, uncertain of how to describe Hydra.] Handlers.

[That... probably works.

He looks over at Steve again. Of course Steve is going around saying they're friends.

Though. He doesn't... mind terribly.]

[barbarus]

[ Damen thinks of handlers, and can only think of slave handlers.

He tells himself it's not necessarily that. His mind shouldn't jump to it just because it's close to home. He shouldn't react to it.

He does anyway. ]

And so, they are what changed you? Did they hurt you?

They can't tell you who you should care for.

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[He shrugs, entirely nonchalant about it. It's his life. It's all he knows.]

Yes. [To both questions.]

I'm only meant to care about the mission. [He swallows.] But there's no mission here.

[barbarus]

[ Damen watches him. Yes, he'd been hurt. But there's no reaction. Not like with Damen. Either he's dealing with it better, or much much worse.

Worrying. ]

What was the mission before? In your own world.

[wipedclean]

Kill Natasha Romanoff also known as Black Widow, or enable her capture.

[That part comes out mechanically.

The next part... he hesitates first, glances over to where Steve is, then says it more quietly.]

Kill or enable the capture of Captain America. Steve Rogers.

[barbarus]

[ Almost as surprising as the mission itself is the fact of Steve's rank, because Damen knows he doesn't have one. He'd been a trainee, yet to see battle.

There's something wrong here. One step at a time, though. ]

Steve Rogers. And yet Steve is alive.

You refused?

[wipedclean]

No. I didn't.

[He frowns. This is... a very complicated subject.]

He is from... before. I am from much later.

[barbarus]

[ Damen pauses. The concept of different timelines is, to say the least, strange to him. He turns more uncertain now, his eyes darkening while he watches Bucky. ]

So then...later. You will kill him?

You intend to?

[wipedclean]

[And here is where the soldier becomes uncertain, hesitant.]

I... have been ordered to.

[barbarus]

[ Damen nods, his expression unchanging. ]

I know that.

It's not what I asked.

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[He shifts, clearly uncomfortable.]

I don't... I don't want to.

[He chokes out the words, like it's physically difficult.]

But I might not have a choice.

[barbarus]

[ Damen's head tilts. ]

We always have a choice.

Why do they want this of you?

[ It's honestly difficult for Damen to imagine Steve being this much of a danger to anyone. This has all the markings of a specialised assassination, and frankly, it just seems like overkill. ]

[wipedclean]

[He sighs, shakes his head a little, but doesn't expand on the choice bit.]

He becomes... a great soldier. A great military leader. Because of that, he makes enemies. The people who... made me what I am, who... [He hesitates, goes through several options of what to call them before he settles,] that I work for, are some of his oldest enemies. Their vision of a peaceful world doesn't look like his. They don't want him to get in the way of their realization of that vision.

[barbarus]

[ A great military leader?

This, in fairness, is also difficult to imagine. He's seen Steve.

He has the character for it, but it's hard to think of him on a battlefield. He'll be surrounded by men bigger and stronger than him, and he's supposed to not only survive, but lead them? Damen is skeptical.

He doesn't say so.

Instead he frowns, thinking about the way Bucky's talking and the people he's describing. People who exert that kind of control, who try to manage their world in that way, do not rate highly with Damen. The description reminds him too forcibly of the Regent, for whom the world is a game that he's playing. ]

And you? What do you think of him, when he's this great leader?

You're more than what they made you. He doesn't think you're a threat.

[wipedclean]

I don't... I don't know him. I'm just ordered to kill him. I'm not a threat to him here because... he's not the one I was sent to kill.

[Maybe it's nitpicking, maybe it's semantics, but by god he's sticking with it.]

They made me. It's all I am.

[It's all they let him be.]

[barbarus]

But if that's true, he's easier to kill now.

Younger. Less experienced. Weaker. A simpler target, unless it's an honourable match you seek.

[ Which he doubts, honestly, if Steve is nothing more than a mark. Damen doesn't believe he is, though. If he had been, he'd be dead already. That much is obvious. ]

You can choose. You're choosing now. You choose every time you look at him, and let him live.