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[casperdisaster]

Um, hi everyone, am I- am I doing this right?

[Noah is still learning selfies and how to use the forward facing camera, so he's not exactly centered in the frame, but he's trying, cheek bruised and hair the very definition of bedhead.]

So, did - um. So I woke up okay, uh, and I found this?

[He holds up a book, Oh, The Places You'll Go! by one Dr Seuss.]

I didn't bring this with me. I - um, it's kinda funny, I haven't actually thought about it in... gosh, years? It was one of the books I had as a kid. I dunno, it never meant much before but reading it now...

[He pages through it, pausing at a few places and smiling a little before looking back up to the camera.]

Um, I'm pretty sure none of my friends had it either so... any ideas? Did someone lose a book? Uh, yeah. That's. That's it.

Comments

[casperdisaster]

With a dead person's ID?

[Noah knows what Ronan means, what he means to mean, but he can't resist the phrasing of it.

Noah Czerny lost any future he might have had seven years ago when it was taken from him and given it to Richard Campell Gansey III instead. It isn't that he doesn't mind, it's just that, well.

If someone had to have it, the world needed Gansey more. Who would have saved Adam from the world and Ronan from himself if Gansey wasn't there? One life for three. Noah didn't have a choice, but if he did then he'd make that deal, every time.

Especially these three lives.]

I try not to think about it. I mostly fail at that, but - it isn't worth getting upset over. It can't be changed, being sad and afraid won't stop it.

[greywaren]

[It's true, and none of them think about it much, especially not when Noah is here and... whole. It's not hard to see that he's falling apart at home, coming undone as Cabeswater unfurls into each of them.

Ronan thinks that he'd be afraid, if it were him. Knowing that the end is coming, and not being sure what it means.]

'Death is swallowed up in victory,' [he recites quietly, his voice barely above a whisper.]

Maybe it'll be a relief.

[casperdisaster]

[Noah shrugs a bit.

It's a terrifying thing, dying not just once but then having to do it a second time, the slow but unstoppable unwinding, the decay into nothingness or - or being absorbed entirely into Cabeswater until there's nothing of 'Noah' that remains except an after image.

Maybe that's what he is now. Maybe the majority of 'Noah' went on to something better, some afterlife where the soul is eternal, and this part is just what was left behind and held onto by Cabeswater. It doesn't really matter. He's still dying, a slow death he can see coming and can't do anything to stop.

He doesn't think about it, as much as he can. It's too frightening. Considering the fear he has to live with (or pointedly not live with) maybe Noah's cowardice is understandable, just a bit.]

I'll miss getting wasted.

[greywaren]

[Ronan frowns, pressing the pad of his thumb against his lip for a moment- the movement a mirror of one of Gansey's own nervous habits, but Ronan doesn't really even realize that he's doing it.]

I don't know, there's that whole 'water to wine' thing. Bet they have a lot of booze in- [a pause, and Ronan shifts in his seat, a little uncomfortable. The word Heaven sounds so trite, like it's lost meaning. Noah attends church with him, sure, but it's difficult to know where the companionship ends and the faith begins. So, he amends, quickly-] -in whatever's there, after.

[casperdisaster]

[Noah notices even if Ronan doesn't, eyes tracking the movement, a mirror of Gansey's. It makes sense. They're like brothers, traits picked up from close contact even if there's no shared genetics involved.]

Oh, well if I've got divine keggers I guess it's fine then.

[greywaren]

I hate it when I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or not.

[Ronan stands then, shoving his hands in his pockets.]

I should get going anyway. I just wanted to drop in.

[casperdisaster]

[Czerny didn't really have a sense of humor, he just occasionally said things that happened to be funny.]

Thanks for stopping by. Like, anytime, okay?

[greywaren]

Yeah, sure.

[He'd say same to you, but Noah- and anyone else, really- is not allowed free reign of Ronan's room. So he leaves, content at least that the conversation hadn't gone completely terribly.]