003✖; (voice)

[circumitus]

[Judging by the sound of her voice and the clunking of glass in the background, Rey has been drinking. Alone, no less. When that happens, she has a habit to get melancholy, and even more so now. Thanks, Sorrow.]

"So, let's get this straight.

"The goal in all of this, assuming that we have one to start with, is to bring all of these dead gods back to life so that they can work their asses to finally use that Door that brought us all here in the first place... to take us back to our own worlds. That is the mission, right?"

[Pause. Another clink of glass as she takes a shot. By then it's obvious that there's something off about the way she speaks. Devoid of the monotone and the robot exterior that she so often maintains in the presence of others. Now it's just too much work.]

"Not that it's supposed to be a bad thing. Am sure that some of you come from lovely worlds with minimal problems and actual lives to return to and whole prospects ahead of you. But where does that leave some of us?

"You know, the ones that don't have lives. People who are dead, or have nothing to go back to but a piece of metal rammed through your chest but you're not dead even though you'd probably be better off that way anyway because of your track record for only making things worse no matter how much good you try to do and..."

[...And Rey is digressing. That is also not something she wanted to actually say.

[In fact, none of these things she actually wanted to say.

[Realizing this, she cuts the feed with a muttered "fuck, never mind" at the end.]

Comments

[circumitus]

[The subject matter has resulted in Rey forfeiting her appetite, so she lets Muscovy help himself to the leftover soup.]

Memory wipes. Replacing previous memories with new ones.

There was also a phrase in a particular song that would initiate a reset.

[If Muscovy can figure out what that Manchurian Candidate shit even means.]

[muscovy]

[He only gets half of that, but it is enough to get a general picture.]

If you got new memories and new bodies, how were those other women still you?

[That's puzzling. Memories and body... sure, he's heard of immortal souls and all that, but he got the impression that it worked under the assumption that memories and some resemblance of continuity of the body were attached to it.]

[circumitus]

[She sighs, scratching her forehead as she searches for the words to properly explain how this works.]

At the time, we were completely different people. But now, can remember all their memories. Their experiences. Thoughts and feelings. That's all that's left of them. Without those memories, those experiences, would be nothing. Would be empty.

[Having very clear memories of what it was like to be an empty shell, Rey would rather deal with the unpleasant memories of those women than to go back to ever being that way again.]

[muscovy]

...Is that also why he can't control you again?

[It sounds like it is related to that, at least.]

[circumitus]

One of the reasons, probably.

To be honest, don't think my father knew whether or not it would actually work or just kill me.

[As Rey had come so close to by her own hands throughout those four years.]

[muscovy]

[There's something bugging him, something that has been like an itch that he couldn't scratch for a long while and he finally figured out what it is.]

Why do you still call him father?

[circumitus]

[Rey's expression twists when a sense of déjà vu hits her.

...

[Yeah, Muscovy is hardly the first to ever ask that question.]

Was created by him. He's the closest thing to a father that something like me could ever have.

[By her logic, anyway.]

[muscovy]

Nick isn't trying to do bad things to you, wants to protect you, cares about you and is a guy and looks older than you. So he is very much like a father too, yes, and in better ways than the one that you call that now.

[He doesn't think Nick is particularly awesome, but definitely better than this guy and also yeah. Has a number of father traits.]

[circumitus]

[Rey now gives him an even more incredulous look, like he just started speaking to her in tongues.]

Are you suggesting that I consider Nick my father?

[True, they see each other as family. And she may have once mistaken Nick as the man who created her in a dream. But it just seems absurd... in theory.

[In practice is another matter entirely.]

[muscovy]

It would be better for you than considering Gregory your father, yes?

[As in, he strongly suggests thinking on it. And then deciding in favour of it once the thinking is done. Which he knows can take a while with Rey.]

[circumitus]

Why would--

[Then she recalls a minor, important detail -- Gregory did beat the idea into many of Rey's older selves that he was the only family and friend she had. The only one she could ever trust. It kept her isolated, from questioning his actions and motives. For the most part, it worked. IV, however, forced one of her predecessors to doubt.

[While they were technically related by association and assembly line, they were hardly alike. And the synthetic man wasn't much of a family, in the end.]

Gregory was never a father type. Didn't consider him one, either.

[muscovy]

Then it is very silly that you still call him one, yes?

[It will be a lot better and make things easier for Rey if she doesn't, he thinks. Maybe it will even make being family easier for her.]

[circumitus]

[Oh.] Um.

[Awkward.]

Never said that Gregory was my father. He was created before me by the same person. Just differently.

[muscovy]

[....

!!!!!!]

Could your creator be a problem for you if he came here?

[circumitus]

Not really. He isn't capable of directly causing harm to another person. That's why he uses people to do shit for him, but he can't force them or anything.

[Which was why he had such a hard time "controlling" Rey when she was insane and virtually uncontrollable.]

[muscovy]

How does he make the do things for him if he cannot force them?

[That is ...he wonders how that works.]

[circumitus]

Blackmail and manipulation goes a long way with him. There are ways to get people to do what you want without having to lay a finger on them.

[muscovy]

[He nods slowly. He's seen that. Never used it himself, mostly because he can't, but he's seen other use such methods with great results. ...Though sometimes also to the detriment of their own health when the person they used it on found a way to get rid of them instead, or found out about the manipulation and got angry.]

If he is good at that and it might hurt you, then it is as bad as if he was strong.

[circumitus]

True, but that doesn't mean he has any leverage here. Not without directly harming someone.

[And she knows that that's out of the question.]

[muscovy]

It didn't sound like he won't hurt people.

[So that's not as assuring as Rey makes it sound.]

[circumitus]

He can't. He wouldn't risk what's left of his humanity out of spite.

[Lucas may be a lot of things, but vindictive isn't one of them.]

[muscovy]

Why did he lose the rest of humanity, and why would he lose more of it?

[...He cannot really picture how either would happen. People are human, or they aren't... aren't they?]

[circumitus]

Don't know. Probably because he's lived so long, he's lost touch with it.

[She pauses.]

Think of it as something like... when a dog kills a human, that dog is usually killed. Do you know why people do that?

[muscovy]

Because you kill someone who kills a human, unless it was in a rightful battle or the person was sentenced to death. And dogs don't usually do either.

[...How does that relate?]

[circumitus]

[DIS CHILD.]

No, that isn't the reason. Usually.

[She pauses. Perhaps she should find a better way to explain this:] It's to prevent it from happening again. People tend to believe that an animal can't be reformed after it's killed, because it can't tell the difference between right and wrong. You can't send it to prison and you can't let it go free for taking a human life. It is also believed that, once something has a taste for killing, the chances of a repeat incident is just too high to take that risk. So, the animal is to be put down.