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I want to--Um...

I feel like life would be improved here if we all played more games, and... [ Kate, why are you making him do this? ] I-I wanted to ask if anyone else had any games that they could teach us. Party games, this time, not card games. Like Twister.

[ He glances off screen cautiously, then looks back, trying to seem more courageous on the subject than he is. ]

Kate thinks that life here would be much improved if we all played more together, and I have to agree with her. Play is important...for the well being of people, especially those who don't have anything else to occupy their time.

So...that is to say, if we could organize a...party, I suppose, everyone would be invited. We could hold it at the bar.

[ Yep, that's it. ]

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You know, not too long ago I was talking to someone about the idea of a games room. We might have to create our own board games and such with whatever we have around, but I think it could be done!

Really? You can just do that?

[ How do you make board games, uncreative angels need to know. ]

[Elmer shrugs, smiling brightly.] Why not? It'll take some work, but what else have we got to do around here, eh? Have people try to remember the rules to games from their homes, and we can make up boards and pieces out of things we find. I don't see why not. I bet having something to do and look forward to will be good for people's moods too, don't you think?

Yes. Yes, I think so. I've been enjoying playing card games with my friends, but... I'd like more of a challenge; to expand my itinerary a little.

There's not much to do around here otherwise.

I do like card games. And there's so many! But I understand. Variety is the spice of life and all.

And that's exactly what I'd been saying. Between new people arriving and the occasional monster problem, there's not much to do around here, is there? We might as well make something to do that's fun.

Yes. Anything we can think of. I'm...I'm worried about people not having enough to do. Not having enough...distractions.

Ooh, think people are going to get up to no good? Like what? There's nothing to steal, no real places to break in to... I suppose they could wander off and accidentally get eaten by monsters. That wouldn't be very good.

[He says it all with the same placid smile on his face.]

No it's not crime that I'm afraid of. Personal vices, alcohol consumption, depression, interpersonal violence... People aren't designed for such confinement.

Ah yes, that. Boredom leads to terrible things! Well, I don't plan to let people get depressed while I'm around. I'm always out to get smiles, and being trapped in some weird, scary town won't stop me.

[At least someone around here is optimistic?]

Out to get smiles? Like you collect them?

[ What weird phrasing. How do you collect smiles? ]

Ha! Well that is one way of putting it. [That's a frighteningly accurate way of putting it, actually.] My mission is to get every person to smile for me. Hopefully more than once. Smiles are really important, and keeping happy in a place like this means it's even more important than ever. Don't you agree?

Yes, I do. I agree absolutely. I've been trying to make my friends smile too, not that its working very well. Do you have any tips?

I like that attitude! [Elmer grins like you just asked him the greatest question in the universe. Chin in his hands, he leans into the camera.]

I'm so glad you asked. Mostly, you have to find out what they want. What they like! There are a lot of generic ways to get people to smile, but the best way is to really get to know them. Test the waters! Start with a joke, and see what gets a reaction. Everyone loves a good joke.

Oh, but I'm not very good at jokes. Uriel was always the funny one.

[ He does look like he's considering it, though. ]

Practice makes perfect, you know! Did you ever learn any jokes from this Uriel? If only this place had books somewhere, I'd find you a joke book so you can try some out on everyone.

Well, if you're so good at them yourself, perhaps you wouldn't mind teaching me?

Weeeeeell I suppose I could pass on my wisdom! But the best way to tell jokes is to know your audience. A good way to start out is to use some really bad ones. If they laugh - great! If they don't, then you know you have to try something different.

[Elmer thinks for a moment on where to start, before one dawns on him and he snaps his fingers.]

Okay. Really bad jokes are easy. Puns are your greatest weapon! For example: two peanuts were walking down a street, when one got assaulted. Or, did you know that vegetarian vampires can be defeated with a steak to the heart? Or! Bikes can't stand on their own, because they're two tired. Get it?

[ Castiel stays very quiet through the telling of jokes, not sure what he's supposed to be finding amusing. ]

Stakes can't kill vampires. That's how you dispatch a zombie. And how can a bicycle be tired?

Are you sure those were jokes?

[Hoo boy.]

Ah, I see what the problem is here. You're too literal! Puns might not work, then. See, not stakes through the heart, but steaks like from a cow? And bikes have two tires...

[Wait a tick. Something else is more important here.]

Hang on. Since when do stakes not kill vampires? That's how it works in books and movies. How does that kill a zombie?

Oh. I see what you mean. I can use puns, but your language is not my first language. Perhaps if I told you a joke in Enochian...

[ But right. Conversations about monsters. ]

You can only ensure that the dead stay at rest by putting them in their grave, and driving a stake through their heart. A stake not a steak.

Enochian? Really? [He leans into the camera with interest. Elmer studied alchemy starting back in the 1700s, so he's familiar with that term.] That's your first language?

I thought zombies were all about shots to the head. So what works on vampires, then?

It's the first language of all angels, how we communicate with each other.

Um...vampires, I believe, you behead. Beheading tends to work for most things. Dead man's blood can also kill them.

You're an angel. [Even with his usual unflappable sunny disposition, even Elmer can sound incredulous sometimes. Like right now. At least his next question sounds more earnest.] An angel, and yet you're trapped in here too?

Huh. And here I always thought it was the reverse! Behead a zombie, stake the vampire. I'll try to keep that in mind in case one or the other ever show up here. Which, considering the rate new monsters like to show up, is a distinct possibility. At least now I'm properly prepared!

[See, he can put a positive spin on anything.]

Even angels can be trapped. Perhaps more easily, because of our magic.

[ Maybe it isn't the best thing to admit, but it's the honest truth, and Cas isn't in a hurry to avoid the topic, or lie unnecessarily. It just is. ]

You will be. Although perhaps...if you're not used to fighting monsters, it might be best to leave it to the professionals.

And here I'd have thought you'd have the magic to get yourself unstuck. What a shame!

[Nope, not believing this guy's an angel. Magical, sure, but honest-to-goodness angel is a leap Elmer can't make.]

You have a point. I'm not much for fighting. I wouldn't say I'm a pacifist, exactly, but I am all about spreading smiles, not violence.

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strangelic - 2016-09-16 13:33 (UTC) - Expand

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