hadriel | fifth; video + action (give me a shot to remember and you can take all the pain away from me)

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fifth; video + action (give me a shot to remember and you can take all the pain away from me)

[Nick is infinitely more sober than the last time she appeared on the network, though the location is, perhaps unsurprisingly, the same. The only difference is that this time, Nick is standing behind the bar, not sitting at it with a drink in hand. She appears slightly uncomfortable, no doubt due to regret over her past broadcast. She clears her throat and nods at the camera.]

So if you didn't already know, I'm working at the bar now. Delight asked me to help out, and it's what I used to do back in Chicago, so.

[She shrugs. Obvious connection is obvious.]

I know I said a lot of shit last time I talked to everyone on this thing, but as I'm sure you all noticed, I was pretty fucking drunk. [She sighs, rolling her eyes, mildly irritated with herself.] I didn't mean most of it, and I'm not gonna, like, poison anyone's drink while I'm working. I also don't drink when I'm on the job, so you don't have to worry about any more dumb bullshit like before. I'm a professional, OK? Just so we got that out there. And yeah, that does mean I'll cut you off if I see you acting like an asshole.

[She reaches over to kill the feed, then remembers she has one more thing to say.]

Oh yeah - leave your fucking pets or whatever at home. I know we don't got health inspections to pass or anything, but that shit still ain't sanitary.

[There, now she's done. She hangs up, but will respond to any replies in between serving patrons of Delight's bar. Perhaps you're even one of them?]

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[And that's just a million times worse, on both counts. Nick's had only a couple people she cares about disappear on her, but it only takes one, really, to understand how much it positively sucks to have that uncertainty in the air about where they are and what they're doing now, and the emptiness left behind by their departure. Nick can't help thinking about Kamina, who has also disappeared (for good this time, she imagines), and she exhales a loud breath through her teeth, frowning, as she steps out from behind the bar and makes her way to the front door to lock it. This isn't the kind of thing that other people need to be witnesses for, and she was going to close up anyway.

When she returns to the bar, she pulls up the stool next to Chris instead of slipping back behind it again. She's off the clock now.]

That's really fucked up. I'm sorry, man. Jesus.

Edited 2016-08-28 23:50 (UTC)

[He pulls his gaze back toward Nick when she goes to lock the door, feeling a jolt of nervousness even underneath the slowly kicking in alcohol, but she's just keeping people out. It's fine.

Chris reaches for the bottle of alcohol while she's coming back over, though he pours it into his shot glass instead of just drinking from the bottle again. He also doesn't drink the shot immediately either, glancing at Nick again at her words and then away once more.]

It was, you know. Gonna happen at some point. I just didn't...

[Didn't think it'd be so soon, didn't think they'd both disappear in less than three weeks, didn't think it would still be such a shock to recognize Josh is really, truly gone. But it's not like Chris had ever had much of a chance to deal with things from home before coming here, and with how many horrific things occurred in this place so often it was a lot easier to just try to move on instead.

He knows he should try to change that, but instead he's here.]

So yeah. I just um, want to not think about it for awhile.

[And it's gotten to the point where he can't ignore it, at least not while thinking clearly.]

Yeah, I get that.

[He better than anyone should know just how much she understands the impulse to drink to forget, to drink until you're numb, to drink even to the point of blacking out; he's the one who talked her down the last time she got stupidly drunk over not wanting to think about things. Nick goes silent for a long moment, chewing the cuticle on her finger as she studies Chris.]

I don't think it really helps, though - the drinking, I mean. I've done a lot of it, and it always seems like a good idea at the time. Afterwards, though ... not so much.

Edited 2016-08-29 00:13 (UTC)

[Chris is quiet while she talks, tapping his fingers on the side of the shot glass, and logically he knows she's right. He's told her that himself, and he's been telling himself the same thing the entire time he's been here. He knows this is a terrible, terrible idea that he'll regret tomorrow.

He reaches into his hoodie pocket and pulls out his phone, setting it on the bar and carefully giving it a small shove so it slides out of arm's reach, then picks up the shot. He really doesn't care how terrible the idea is, but he also doesn't want to be making a drunken post on the network.]

Yeah, well. It's not a worse idea than anything else.

[And another shot down, and although he can feel the alcohol his mind is still racing and so clearly that means it isn't enough yet.]

I mean, what else am I gonna do, sit at home? Josh is Hannah's brother so losing him sucks enough already, and she doesn't even know that she and him and Beth are all dead and she's not going to see him again when she goes back. A-And I know Em's missing Ash and Josh too and just doesn't want to say anything to me.

[Because she doesn't want to make him feel worse, and he doesn't want to do the same to her, and speaking of Emily--]

W-What's your deal with her anyway?

[His posture and expression don't really change with the sudden shift in topic, but his tone does. Somewhere he knows this is not the time to talk about this, but changing the conversation to something he can be angry about is so much easier even if it's another thing he's aware he'll regret tomorrow.]

[... Wait, what? Hannah's dead too? Nick opens her mouth to question him about that - she's only spoken with Josh's sister once, over the network, (and by the way, why is it Chris hadn't ever mentioned her before? Is it because she's dead?) - and maybe she's not hanging out at their house anymore, like she used to - but when he turns on her with bringing up Emily, her questions are immediately forgotten.

Emily. Nick's instantly tense. She's aware, distantly, that there are instances where she probably could have just ignored Emily and didn't, but in her mind, she's still the more offended party.]

What do you mean, what's my deal? What her deal?

[Chris just stares at her a few moments critically, then decides he needs another shot. He's still thinking clearly, after all, and he'll just ignore that that means he's aware he should probably be waiting for the alcohol to actually kick in before he makes a judgement on how much he's had.

One shot later, and he can actually manage to respond to that.]

Dude. Em and I talk, so like... I heard what you called her. It's one thing to like, be a jerk to her if you think she's being mean or disagree with her or whatever, but seriously, I'm pretty sure you know you're being super racist.

[2009 and Kansas aside. And the fact that he can string together that many words correctly means he's really, really not drunk enough to be dealing with any of this.]

[Of course they'd talk. Of course they'd talk about her. Emily and Chris have a bond, because they've known each other for however long before they both showed up here, and they went through everything Chris told her about on the mountain in Canada together. It doesn't matter how much she and Chris have been through together here; Nick will never be able to approach that sort of friendship, because it's not rooted in a shared past and common trauma.

She's just always going to be alone, no matter what. Maybe she should just stop trying to fool herself otherwise.]

Right, 'cause I go around burning crosses on people's lawns. That sounds exactly like me.

[Nick huffs loudly, pushes herself up from the chair, grabs the bottle of disgusting flavored extremely strong whatever, and makes her way back behind the bar again.]

You're cut off.

[Chris watches her, eyes flashing in irritation, but even with the effects of alcohol and generally poor mood he's not the type to be particularly forceful about his anger.

So instead of saying anything immediately he just stands up and hops up backwards onto the counter, swings his legs over, and slides off behind the bar. Considering Chris' usual lack of grace combined with having been drinking, the fact that the motion isn't completely awkward indicates he may or may not have done this several times before.]

Don't get all pissed off at me because you're getting called out. I'm not, you know, usually super interested in arguing with my friends for no reason, so maybe you could try actually listening to me?

[And he'll just pick the nearest bottle off the shelf that looks interesting, which happens to be filled with some sort of green liquid.]

[Chris may regret his choice, as the bottle in question tastes like a mix of grass and lime candy, and it's about as strong as a diluted wine cooler. Delight clearly has a bit of a learning curve yet as far as what makes a good drink.]

Right, listen to you take it out on me because you're feeling shitty about Josh and Ash disappearing?

[Nick slams the bottle of tainted cotton candy liquor into the sink, shattering the glass. Whatever, at least it's a contained mess; she can clean it up later.]

It may shock you to learn this, Chris, but you're not the only one who's lost someone you have stupid fucking feelings about, OK?

[Ohgod that's awful. Actually though he's pretty sure he's had this exact combination during a round of Every Flavor Beans in senior year, though he's barely managed to try a shot and disgustedly put the bottle on the counter when Nick slams the other bottle down and shatters it. He jumps, startled, and takes several steps back; part of him suddenly wants to abandon this whole getting drunk plan entirely, but the other part just gets angrier both from her words and from the surge of adrenaline.

He wants to argue, to deny that's why he's upset with her--and that's true; the way she acts toward Emily is a problem and has been for awhile--but now suddenly he's feeling the effects of the drinks. Or maybe he would be just as unsure of what to say and unable to sort out the tangled mess of emotions rising to the surface if he were sober.]

T-That isn't... D-Do you really think th--fucking forget it.

[It's hard to talk, he's frustrated and angry and anxious, and really regrets everything right now. It doesn't help that his vision is blurring from the beginning of overwhelmed tears because wow, as if he wasn't already being pathetic enough.

He backs up another few steps, a hand on the bar for balance but still pretty steady for going backwards after that much alcohol, and collects his phone from where he shoved it before.]

N-Nevermind. I-I'm going home.

Forget it?

[Right, because that's something she's gonna be able to do. Think again, Chris.]

Right, 'cause you got what you came here for, so you can just fucking leave now. I was trying to help, OK? You're the one who turned it into a game of "pin the fuck-up on Nick Rivenna." Newsflash, Chris - I didn't make them leave!

Yeah. Y-Yeah, I can fucking leave now, that's how it works.

[It's the only part he can really respond to, a mix of guilt and anger at her other comments drowned out by adrenaline that was causing him to focus more on getting out of this situation than anything else. There are so many other things he would've said if he weren't feeling more and more inebriated by the moment, or weren't so nervously on edge, but even then he might've had difficult to actually finding the correct words.

He really wishes there had been no one here.

He's backed for enough away that he reaches the front door, but undoing the lock is proving somewhat more complicated than he expected it would be before he drank that much alcohol.]

[No.

No, fuck this; Nick isn't done, and she sure as hell isn't ready to let Chris walk away from this that easily. She's stone-cold sober, so she has no trouble at all crossing the room and slamming her hand against the door while Chris is still struggling with the lock.]

What the fuck is wrong with you, huh? Do you always turn into an asshole when you're drunk, or is this something special just for me?

[He's half expecting it when Nick slams her hand against the door, but it still makes his stomach lurch with fear and he has to force himself to stay calm. Everything's fine. He just needs to choose a different tactic.

The response he wants to give is not going to help, and neither is demanding for her to get out of the way and let him leave. So instead he looks at her, clearly having to force the words out through his teeth when he responds.]

I-I don't know, I-I haven't drank in a long time. P-Probably shouldn't have broken the streak.

[He'd never been an angry or depressed drunk before, but that had been when the worst he had to worry about were his grades. Still, with only this one time to base off of her guess is as good as his when it comes to if this is something special for her or not.]

You haven't - ?

[Nick just. Drags her hand down her face. Chris, why this.]

You haven't drank in a long time, and you decide to start with the Hadriel version of radiator fluid? Jesus, Chris, I thought you were supposed to be smart or something.

[She points to the bar.]

Go sit your ass down. You're at least gonna drink some water before you leave.

Edited 2016-09-06 02:28 (UTC)

[Seemingly exasperated and insulting is a big step up from angry, but not enough for him to want to spend another second here.]

I'll drink water at home.

[That's truthful--he may have been stupid about his alcohol choice but that was on purpose and he knows better than not to also drink water--but not at all his main concern right now. He really wants to go home and sleep this off and pretend it didn't happen.]

I-I just want to leave.

Do you even have water at home? Last I checked, everyone had fucking Skittles and shit coming outta the faucets still.

[She frowns at him, not moving yet.]

Look, if you think I'm gonna let you go wander around in the dark while you're fucked-up drunk, you better think again, Chris. You could get eaten by a bear, or trip on something and break your neck, or pass out in a ditch somewhere and choke to death on your own vomit, OK?

[She may be angry, but he's still her friend, and he's stopped her from making a huge mistake while drunk in the past. The least she can do is attempt the same.]

I-I'm not staying here, Nick, okay?

[His voice is pitched up unintentionally, strained a little from stress, and the words come out before he's even really thought about them. He knows she's right, logically, but the idea of just sitting down and drinking some water and waiting to sober up sounds like a horrific ordeal. He feels claustrophobic, suddenly, despite the size of the bar, impressions of hazy memories he can't quite grasp through the alcohol just continuing to snowball the need to get out.]

I-I'll be fine, we have water bottled and the alcohol hasn't even kicked in that much yet, so I just... Please.

[There is more that she could say here but doesn't. She could try to be more honest about how the idea of Chris getting hurt because he's drunk upsets her; she could say something like please, don't leave me too, but she doesn't. Everybody leaves eventually, whether it's by the door or through death or just plain moving on with their lives and leaving you behind.

Isn't it better if she just stops trying to hold on to people?]

Fine. Leave.

[She unlocks the door and pulls it open.]

Fuck me for giving a shit.

[And she turns and walks away, back to the bar. She has a mess of broken glass to take care of in the sink.]

[Chris doesn't respond or even look at her, just bolting through the gap made by the open door and out into what passes for night in the cave, then circles part of the way around the building to an out of view wall and stops to lean back against it. His heart is pounding and his hands are starting to shake, and he feels utterly ridiculous on top of everything else that's come to the surface while in the bar.

He wants to just stay right there until fake sunrise, suddenly too exhausted to want to even think about walking back home, but it really isn't that far and he needs to get there. So he walks, wishing the alcohol was doing for him what it used to instead of just making his thoughts cloudy and emotions harder to manage.

There is at least a silver lining to losing Ashley and Josh: there are less people to risk waking up when he enters the house at whatever hour it's ended up being. Fortunately he and Emily had thought to bottle water a few days earlier for whenever the candy was pouring from the faucets, and he doesn't bother to check if that's the case now and instead just forces down one of the bottles. It's not nearly enough for how much he drank, but some part of him feels he deserves the hangover and he retreats to his room.

He'll figure out what to do about all of this tomorrow.]

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fifth; video + action (give me a shot to remember and you can take all the pain away from me)

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