[video - ask a gentern if zydrate is right for you.]

[purpleknee]

As backwards as this place is, at least you're not using coin. That kind of economy never made a lot of sense to me. You don't even really seem like you're bartering at all! That's more than a little strange.

[Or maybe he just thinks he deserves a lot, when he's this far away from his heart. Hmn. A possibility, to be sure.]

However, since that's the case, I really don't see what the point is in working for an organization like the clinic. Why would I want to go work for someone else when I've been doing just fine on my own for years? Where I'm from, I'm one of just two menders, and I've had plenty of practice.

[He never even completed his training, but shhh.]

Has anyone from your great clinic recreated half a brain before? I doubt it. I have. So feel free to stop by the better healer whenever you like. I'm usually around the library trying to find something that isn't garbage, if you've, I don't know, got your fingers chewed off, or something.

Comments

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[64th]

I have a brain. That's how I know I don't need anything you're offering.

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[purpleknee]

Not having illnesses, stress, or injuries should be the only thing to let you know you don't need what I'm offering. Because their healing is what I'm offering, nothing more, nothing less. You're all so prickly.

[when he finds a heart substitute, he'll apologize.]

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[64th]

Not having stress?? [ she laughs like that's the funniest thing she's heard all week. ] What do you have, some really fantastic drugs?

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[purpleknee]

I don't use anything like that.

[He's never really understood the point? But then, Ozma's spell kept the need for that pretty low.]

I'm a mender. I use my magic to help fix others. Psychological pains are a little more...intimate and complicated to go about healing, but I hear this place is just filled to burst with potential practice.

[Sorry about murdercave? Newbies probably shouldn't have that sentiment this early on.]

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[64th]

I'll give you that. Everyone here is completely fucked up. You have your work cut out for you.

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[purpleknee]

If people stop being so picky about where they go to get fixed, that's true.

[seriously, y'all are being just so ungrateful to this heartless dweeb]

I really am here to help. Nothing better to do here, as far as I can tell. Once we get some of this smaller stuff out of the way, we can get started on working out the big problems.

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[64th]

Bigger problems like disease or like getting out of here?

[purpleknee]

Ideally, disease won't be an issue, and everyone would already be working on getting out of here. Please tell me you're not that useless...

[he wants to Believe.]

The me-specific big problem I was thinking about would be the mental damage this place has done. Nightmares, anxiety, trust issues, that kind of thing.

[64th]

People are working on getting out of here. [ is she working on it? no. but that's beside the point.

she rolls her eyes. ] The issues I have from here pale in comparison to everything I brought in and I bet it's the same for everyone else.

[purpleknee]

[He opens his mouth to argue that he had no baggage, he was perfectly fine, but then...ah...]

You might have a point. That's fine, I can work on that, too. And this place is still terrible!

[64th]

Of course I've got a point. I'm always right. [ her brow furrows. is it fucked up that she doesn't think this place is terrible, comparatively? ]

Okay - I'm curious. Hypothetically. How fucked up would a person have to be before there's nothing you could do to help them?

[purpleknee]

[He scoffs. There's no way in hell this girl is always right. Probably not even right 50% of the time.]

Hypothetically, I have no idea. Like I said, it's a complicated process. I haven't done it a lot. [or pretty much at all, shh] There's something for everyone that can be helped, but I might not be... I'm probably not strong enough for a lot of things. Yet.

[He's admitting it because even as far away from his heart as he is, he still ultimately cares about others' wellbeing if it's put into his hands. He's meant to fix things. That's what he's supposed to do.]

[64th]

[ now it's her turn to scoff, but she's honestly more disappointed than she is unimpressed. ]

Or some people are just damaged. Unfixable. So why waste time on people like that?

[purpleknee]

[He absently rubs at the spot his heart used to be through his shirt. Just a small scar now. He couldn't remember what Nandita all told him, but it didn't just apply to healers helping other healers. That was just what he was afraid of at the time.]

...You can't let fear stop you. Fear and guilt.

[With a sigh, he switches to propping his chin up on his palm. His chest hurts. He misses his heart. This would be a lot less frustrating if he had it.]

Look, just because there's some stuff that can't be completely fixed, that doesn't mean you shouldn't try. You can mend some of the cracks at least. Wounds turn into scars, which change over time. They only fade sometimes. Even if I could just change a scar a little bit, that'd be worth it, wouldn't it?

[64th]

[ she sighs, deciding to reel her emotions in instead of continuing on a path of increasing crazy. ]

I don't know. I don't remember what it's like to not have the scars.

[purpleknee]

Different.

[It was something obvious, but...what else is he supposed to say? Things before his curse hadn't been necessarily better or worse. There was a certain give on either side of it.]

If you're calling them scars, you must want to try to do something about them.

[64th]

It's never been an option before. You can't go back, you know? [ and sometimes, why would you? there's a lot of stuff in the past she wants to stay there. ]

[ but he's swaying her. slowly. ]

[purpleknee]

It isn't about going back. It's just...trying to make things easier. So you can keep living.

[...Hmn.]

I have a scar like that. It's visible, not like everyone else's. Someone else helped me heal it into something smaller.