hadriel | text;

[ She won't show her face, won't use her voice. Not when she's having a difficult enough time keeping her emotions in check. Cecily badly wants to keep this event from lending more power to Hadriel's gods, but Rage and Sorrow are getting a lot of power from the Inquisitor today, despite that. ]

Cullen Rutherford has disappeared. His mabari hasn't been able to find him in days. I can only assume he has gone home, at least for the time being. I also vanished and returned, so he may do the same.

[ Not that she can bring herself to have much hope along that vein. ]

If anyone has heard from or seen him, I beg you to correct me. Additionally, if there is anyone who has the ability to nullify magical abilities, I will need your help, since Cullen has gone.

[ There isn't much else to say, not in the public sphere. Not when his wedding band that she'd obtained from Delight is burning in her hand, pressed tight against the skin of her palm. ]

Finally, if anyone saw his last message and was wondering: the dog is well again. Sincerely, Inquisitor Trevelyan

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

As do we all.

[ Late, late that night, the Inquisitor can be found in the bar. Pup paces the floor, whining softly, then sits down with his head on his paws, only to repeat the cycle every so often. Cecily mirrors his appearance when he lies down, her arms stretched out across the counter, chin resting atop one.

There is no evidence of what she may or may not have consumed, but the scent and expression are telling enough of her state of being. ]

( There are no words that Leliana gives once she enters, just a careful stepping around Pup before she gets herself a drink, sitting on the next stool to Cecily

There's a few more moments of silence, Leliana drinking some of the wine before she speaks. What do you say? What could Leliana do? They were closer, but not that close - Leliana missing the history and friendship that Cecily knows )

I've known Cullen for many years. He was not always the man that he is.

So I've heard. [ The man himself had shared his experience at Kinloch, at Kirkwall. How it haunted him to this day, woke up in the throes of nightmares that she herself soothed away. ] But were any of us what we were ten, five years ago?

[ Before the Inquisition, even in the midst of it, Cecily had been a completely different person. This Leliana doesn't know that; none of the members currently in Hadriel know that, or know her.

She swallows. ]

I'm terrified, [ She admits on a whisper ] that he'll come back and he won't know me at all. That he'll see me, and... be suspicious, look right through me. That we'll be strangers.

[ He could never be a stranger, though. Not to her. ]

And that would be worse than the rest of us.

( She had come in as a stranger to Cecily, as had Cole. Leliana didn't know what would happen. Perhaps he wouldn't come back at all, perhaps he would remember. There were many different options, and it was frustrating )

Is there a way that would help him to remember?

( That would only be if their memories differed, rather than if they were - somehow - from different versions of the same place. Memory alteration sounded more pleasant, and easily fixable, than the alternative )

When I arrived, it was with Dorian and Rainier and Sera and they all knew me. Then Cullen arrived and it was the same; it never occurred to me to think it might be otherwise.

[ Who wants to think that they are insignificant as a person? That they might easily be replaced by another? ]

I never thought I was chosen by Andraste, but all this - [ She grits her teeth, brow twitching downward. ] ... It makes me feel... worthless. More so than I've ever felt before.

[ At the question, she shakes her head almost distantly. ]

It's like asking if there is a way to change me into the Inquisitors that you all remember. We're different people, and it's the same with you, Cole, Dorian, and Cullen. We may have the same... identities as those people, but they are not us.

You were still chosen.

( Leliana may not remember it, and she may not have wanted to believe it at first, but what she has seen has made that thought settle in her mind. Cecily is worthy to be the Inquisitor - worthy to lead them, and good at it. She cares for her people, whether they're 'hers' or not, and she has the skills - the desire. Everything that she needs, and the people behind her helping )

'Inquisitor' is more than a name. I've learned that myself.

( They've come a long way since their first meeting. Though Leliana knows that that isn't the only concern, and it's true. Changing Cecily into another Inquisitor - hers, Coles? It would mean that they lost the person that she was, killing her effectively to bring in someone else. Cullen would still be Cullen but what of his memories? His other life? )

Though perhaps all we can do is hope. ( Hope, and maybe pray. Would their prayers be heard here? By Andraste, at least? No one could answer that, but it wouldn't stop Leliana in the least ) He may return as you remember.

[ In Cecily's own mind, she hadn't been chosen by anything, except for, perhaps, her advisers choosing her to lead them. She herself had chosen, then, to continue on, despite her many misgivings.

If the Maker has anything to do with any of this, He has a dark sense of humor. ]

I'll hope as much as I can. [ She sighs softly. ] But I know that I can't expend all my energy on pining away. There's still so much work to do here, people to protect... and other Inquisition members to look after.

[ Plus, the dog. Pup is a lot of work. ]

Will you help me? [ The Inquisitor asks. ]

( There's a nod from her. Whatever Cecily needed, and perhaps Leliana could answer some of it already. She's spent her time so far making connections, questioning as much as she can to find out things that people may not realise they knew - things that weren't in the 'guides' )

I will. I can still hope to advise you.

( And maybe, just more than that, be a friend. Be something more than just an adviser.

Just don't ask her to look after the dog. She's Fereldan but inexperienced with dogs )

Of course. [ Cecily has always valued Leliana's (and the others') advice. ] Thank you.

[ What more could she ask from the woman who is essentially a stranger? ]

In the meantime... [ She sighs, dropping her gaze. ] There's still work to be done here.

( The final comment has Leliana giving a small chuckle )

As there often is.

( Always is. The work never stops when you're trying to make the world a better place, or just help someone )

But perhaps not for tonight.

( One night to feel what she is, even though Leliana knows that one night won't take it all away. But one night that Cecily will give to the feelings before carrying on )

No. [ If only because she's exceedingly drunk. ] Tomorrow, then.

[ She knows by now how to power through a hangover... ]

I never thought I would feel that way about anyone. [ Cecily groans, pressing her forehead into the surface of the counter. ] I thought it was... ridiculous.

[ And yet. ]

It catches us by surprise.

( She has her own experiences of it, some which have left Leliana with her own heartache, though for reasons which wouldn't inspire any hope )

But your love still remains, if not here.

[ Cecily only nods faintly. The subject is exhausted, by her estimation, and Leliana has done enough to ease the Inquisitor's burden. ]

I won't stay out late. [ She says finally. ] Pup will help me to get home without falling into the river.

Yes, he will.

( There's a smile that Leliana gives her knowingly. Of course Pup will get her home, and with a little guidance if he can't get her all the way )

text;

text.

action.

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject

no subject