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[ She won't show her face, won't use her voice. Not when she's having a difficult enough time keeping her emotions in check. Cecily badly wants to keep this event from lending more power to Hadriel's gods, but Rage and Sorrow are getting a lot of power from the Inquisitor today, despite that. ]

Cullen Rutherford has disappeared. His mabari hasn't been able to find him in days. I can only assume he has gone home, at least for the time being. I also vanished and returned, so he may do the same.

[ Not that she can bring herself to have much hope along that vein. ]

If anyone has heard from or seen him, I beg you to correct me. Additionally, if there is anyone who has the ability to nullify magical abilities, I will need your help, since Cullen has gone.

[ There isn't much else to say, not in the public sphere. Not when his wedding band that she'd obtained from Delight is burning in her hand, pressed tight against the skin of her palm. ]

Finally, if anyone saw his last message and was wondering: the dog is well again. Sincerely, Inquisitor Trevelyan

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[ Cecily doesn't look up, instead staring dully at the ground with her arms draped over her knees. ]

Since... five or six days ago. I've lost track.

[ Time has become a long, ugly thing, stretched out forever between the night she fell asleep beside her husband and the morning she woke and he was gone. ]

[ Her heart pinches in her chest. Cecily looks like a woman distraught, a woman lost, and there's not a single word Sharon can say to fix it, to help. She crosses the distance between them in several quick, long strides, kneeling down beside her friend. ]

And you've been looking since. [ Because what else could she do? Stay, and wait for her husband to return? No. When you care about someone, you can never give up, even when it seems like all is lost, even when all is lost. ] I wish you'd called me, I would have been out here with you.

You have enough to think about. [ After all this time, Cecily has no reservations about what Sharon's life is like and the complications that it holds. ] I can manage.

[ If the hound couldn't pick up his scent, then no human could find him, she thinks. ]

He left Pup behind. [ Cecily speaks up again, almost weakly. ]

[ Sharon wants to berate Cecily for such a line of thinking, but finds the words dying in her throat. It would be hypocritical of her to judge her too harshly when she's just as stubborn, and foolish. The mention of the mabari gets Sharon to shake her head slowly, and she reaches out to take Cecily by the shoulders, but, at the last moment, pulls her into a tight, awkward hug. ]

He'd have never left either of you. [ She whispers fiercely. There's not a bone her body that believes, if he had a choice, that Cullen would leave either of them here, not now, not ever. ] Not if he had a choice.

[ It isn't awkward to Cecily. However badly she handles her own feelings and sentiment in general, today is not a day for that kind of discomfort. There's no room for it on top of everything else. ]

I know. [ She replies softly, just as fiercely. ] And I know... that he's just gone back to our world. That he's out of harm's way, at least from this place.

[ He won't have to face another death in Hadriel. It should be a blessing, but it still stings like a curse. ]

Even... knowing that... [ She stiffens, grip tightening briefly around her friend. ] Maker, I wish I could at least have said goodbye.

[ No amount of knowledge will change the fact that, for now, Cullen is lost to her. He may be safe from the gods, he may be home, but he is not with her, and that's the only thing that really matters. This isn't just distance, this is world's apart, literal. fucking. worlds.

She returns her friends tight squeeze with one of her one, only pulling back after the grip loosens. Her eyes are glassy, but she's not crying. ]

This fucking sucks. [ And she is so, so sorry. ] We'll need to watch the Colosseum well, just... just in case. [ Because, perhaps, he'll return like the Inquistor herself did. She doesn't want to fill her friend with false hope, but it's always a very real possibility in this place. ]

That it does. [ 'Fucking suck,' that is. Cecily nods faintly at the suggestion, but they both know that if Cullen comes, he'll come, and if he doesn't, he won't; there isn't much they can do. As usual, they're powerless.

She swallows hard, shoulders tight. ]

Thank you for... this. [ She says finally, sullen. ] I'm glad you haven't disappeared, at least.

It's what friends do. [ She's kind of getting used to this 'being a friend' thing. It's nice, like having family. Plus, you're welcome is tougher to say, kind of like gratitude. ] I'm... I'm glad you haven't disappeared, either.

[ She knows it's selfish, but Cecily has been the one constant in her life since Fear started all of this. Who else understands their predicament as well? Or won't bitch, or judge if she fucks up? Or has no problem dealing with her drunk ass? She'd be jealous if Cecily left, and happy for her, and so incredibly torn. ] I-I don't know what I'd do if you weren't here.

I feel the same. [ It's true, of course; there aren't many here that Cecily is very close with. Cullen left, and there's Sharon, who... really is her closest friend in Hadriel. ] I told him, once, that I'd be furious if he vanished... but, as that didn't stop him, I won't say the same to you. Just know...

[ The Inquisitor would likewise be devastated to lose her friend. ]

Hey, if I vanish on you, I expect you to be fucking furious. [ It's really not a thought she likes to entertain. She wants—no, needs—to return home. As long as she's here, Christopher is in danger, at the hands of that bitch and the rest of her scum Order. But there's a part of her, a deep, ashamed part of her, that wants to stay as long as she can. Where else has she ever had the chance to get to know people as herself? Where else has she ever been where so many people care for her, even knowing the truth? ] And if I come back, you have permission to knock a few of my teeth in for leaving.

[ She wants to promise that that day will never have to come, but she knows, realistically, it could happen any day without a single warning. ]

I will be. [ She'll be furious with the gods, or the Door, or whatever is responsible. She'll be devastated to lose her best friend. ] But I won't do anything to your teeth. Maker, don't be a masochist. This place takes enough from us without me dislodging your teeth.

[ Still, she admits a faint, tired chuckle. ]

Is that a hint of what you'll do to me if I leave and come back? I've actually done that already, though I'm loathe to admit it...

Does that mean I owe you a good hit? [ Her smile is tight and doesn't quite reach her eyes. Like she'd ever do anything to cause her pain—not on purpose, not if she has some choice in the matter. When she was younger, she'd read a lot about what it would be like to have a friend, to live a normal life with normal people. Books never really prepared her for what it would be like, how selfish it would make her feel, how protective and envious. Alessa thought she'd missed out on that feeling, and Sharon is so incredibly glad she hasn't. ]

I think so. [ She agrees gravely. ] Whenever you like.

[ Sure, she'd allow Sharon to punch her over her having disappeared, or in the future if it happens again. It's only fair, isn't it? ]

Maybe I'll save it for a rainy day. [ For when the older woman inevitably fucks up, as women like them are bound to do. Dumb, dangerous, daring fools like them. ]

Fair enough.

[ There's a pause, faintly strained. Cecily sighs softly. ]

... I'll keep in touch throughout my dramatic misery. All right?

That's all I ask. [ Just... keep her informed. She cares a great deal about her friend's mental state. ]

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action | we can end it here?