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[ She won't show her face, won't use her voice. Not when she's having a difficult enough time keeping her emotions in check. Cecily badly wants to keep this event from lending more power to Hadriel's gods, but Rage and Sorrow are getting a lot of power from the Inquisitor today, despite that. ]
Cullen Rutherford has disappeared. His mabari hasn't been able to find him in days. I can only assume he has gone home, at least for the time being. I also vanished and returned, so he may do the same.
[ Not that she can bring herself to have much hope along that vein. ]
If anyone has heard from or seen him, I beg you to correct me. Additionally, if there is anyone who has the ability to nullify magical abilities, I will need your help, since Cullen has gone.
[ There isn't much else to say, not in the public sphere. Not when his wedding band that she'd obtained from Delight is burning in her hand, pressed tight against the skin of her palm. ]
Finally, if anyone saw his last message and was wondering: the dog is well again.
Sincerely,
Inquisitor Trevelyan
Cullen Rutherford has disappeared. His mabari hasn't been able to find him in days. I can only assume he has gone home, at least for the time being. I also vanished and returned, so he may do the same.
[ Not that she can bring herself to have much hope along that vein. ]
If anyone has heard from or seen him, I beg you to correct me. Additionally, if there is anyone who has the ability to nullify magical abilities, I will need your help, since Cullen has gone.
[ There isn't much else to say, not in the public sphere. Not when his wedding band that she'd obtained from Delight is burning in her hand, pressed tight against the skin of her palm. ]
Finally, if anyone saw his last message and was wondering: the dog is well again.
Sincerely,
Inquisitor Trevelyan

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[ Maker, as if. Dorian is still one of her closest friends whether he remembers her or not. ]
You've got them in your memory. There's always a chance you be with them again someday. [ There's an almost uncomfortable pause. ] I'm not... very good with sentiment, but stranger things have happened. In our lives they happen all the time. I would be more surprised if you never saw them again.
[ Cecily is sincere, at least. ]
What is it you regret?
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[He doesn't say anything, doesn't want to spit on her trying to be hopeful, he's not quite drunk and depressed enough to do that yet. Give him another bottle or two and he might. He's been pulled all over, and he highly doubts they're going to show up again. He'd dearly love to be proven wrong, but he's also done his mourning. Having them back would be wonderful, but it would make it hurt even more when they were inevitably taken from him again.]
[It's a long moment before he answers, licking his lips and leaning back in the chair]
I never told him I loved him. Never said that I wanted anything more than what we had. At the time I thought it for the best, neither of us were in much of a position for anything like a committed relationship but... it would have been nice to put a name to it. A horrendously bad idea. But nice.
[He hasn't told Cecily precisely what he had been doing to get along in Eros, what all of them had been doing. When you were a whore, it put rather a crimp in what most people would consider a committed relationship. Not that he had loved him any less, been any less in love with him or committed to him. But he had never said the words, and that bothered him still.]
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[ In one piece, hopefully. ]
If you thought it was for the best, then you're hardly at fault. [ Cecily says after a pause, frowning a little. ] You had no idea he would vanish just as I didn't. It's impossible to treat every day as if you might be separated on the next... and unhealthy, besides.
[ That's no way to live. ]
You know how you felt about him. You have to hold onto that, and... believe that one day, you two will cross paths again. That you'll do that and remember your shared experiences. If you can't hope, then what can you do?
[ Says the pot to the kettle. Still, she means it in earnest. ]
Dorian, you may not believe it, and I realize I sound like a bloody idiot, but it's true that... I really do believe you two will find each other again.
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[Well, there were always the hangovers, but that was solved with some water, and some food, and with whatever passed for elfroot in that particular area. He was still in one piece after]
[He sighed]
I was never sure it was the best. I... [And oh this takes a moment to get out] I was a coward though, thinking that it would hurt less that way.
But, I suppose one can hope.
[He takes another long drink from the bottle]
I do hope I can be as hopeful as you though. Though I doubt that day is today.
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[ It's hard for her to hope right now, herself. ]
At the very least, we've got each other's company. That's more than enough, you'll see.
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[He raises the bottle, biting back the comment that almost slips out, because she doesn't need to think about how long that might last, or hear about his certainty that either she will leave or he will leave eventually. There was a time limit on every single relationship of course, that was built into being mortal. But they seemed much more pressing in places like this.]
Well, in that case, to company. Excellent, and hopefully not sober for much longer, company.
[He takes a long drink, because they are not lounging in this library to stay sober, Lady Trevelyan. They are here to get stinking drunk]
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[ Cecily imagines that he feels similarly. The Inquisitor takes another long sip, savoring it, letting the fuzzy warmth seep through her blood. ]
Mm. [ There's a long, drawn-out sigh. ] Maker, I needed that. This.
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I think we all do, some more often than others. It's good to have someone to drink with, drinking alone is never as much fun.
[It was also something that drunks and depressing people did. And he was neither of those. Nope.]
want to wrap up?
[ She's certainly done that one before. ]
Still not fun, of course.
Sure! Sorry for the delay, OTL
[Even if he understood the need to be alone with your misery sometimes, he wouldn't ever recommend it.]
[He leans back, crossing his legs as he so often did back home, staring up at the ceiling for a long moment]
I am glad to have met you. I'm sure my counterpart was as well.
[Back home he might have worried about manipulation, but here... well not so much.]