hadriel | [video - for the good of all of us (except the ones who are dead).]

Oh Abeegail, what am I to do? I need to help five people and fill them with hope so I can get something that makes me feel like I have a heart again! Because I don't have a heart inside my body, which apparently means far more to me than it does for most of the people in this stupid cave. Hmn? What's that Beeatrice, this trade is basically impossible for me without the thing I'm trading for? Right you are! How smart, and how quickly you realized it, you smart little bee.

[His faux enthusiasm drops and he glares flatly at the camera.]

Come help a witch help you to help himself help us all. I have healing magic and a temper. If you think this is cheating, I don't want to hear it, and I only want things that will actually help. I'm serious, I'm trying to be good, here.

...Oh, and it goes against everything else I'm trying to do here, but I should let you know that the bees I found can't make honey. Maybe if you tell Delight or someone they can, she'll believe you and the copies will be able to, I don't know. I don't really care.

[He's screwed.]

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

That's kind of a lot when they ain't really a renewable resource here.

[Want and intent also have quiiiiiiite a bit of overlap, honestly.]

Magical fruit trees are the very definition of renewable resource.

Maybe not in the conventional sense. I don't much feel like feelin' sad for a week so Sorrow can grow 'em back.

[That's a hypothesis. He can't know for certain if that's what would be required of Hadriel's denizens if somethin' happened to the orchards, but given what happened during Sorrow's resurrection, he thinks it's a pretty good guess.]

I'd gladly take everyone being sad about it over calling me and idiot and threatening me.

[like he doesn't deserve it]

Maybe they've gotta pretty good reason to do that.

[If a lotta people are callin' him out, that's probably for the best. Don't mean Sans won't judge from the sidelines. Can't help it, bud, sorry. It's kinda his job.]

Doesn't mean it doesn't piss me off!

[his delicate ego!! his temper!!!]

So this is "wicked" you, huh? Not real big on the empathy, are ya?

I'm heartless, what do you want from me?!

You clearly ain't completely devoid of the stuff, or you would'a tossed those bees anyway.

[Just sayin', it raises a lotta moralistic questions here. He knows what not caring looks like. He knows precisely what it looks and feels like. And this...might have some of the calling cards, but does it have a full deck?

Well. That's the big question, ain't it?]

[...can't deny that's true. It's not the intended effect, but it makes Warrick feel a little better and he calms down some.]

It's...hard to explain. I have emotions, but not a lot of control over them. Losing control mostly gets anger. But even then, I don't want to kill people. You said you needed Hope to get you special food, so I didn't put bees in his temple even if he definitely deserved it. I didn't want you to starve.

[So it ain't a straight translation measure. Not like LOVE, which pretty much scales up or down dependin' on how many misfortunes you've inflicted on others.]

So you still got reason. Still got empathy. [Heh. Kind of.] And what's givin' you a heart gonna change? It ain't like emotions are known for bein' real rational things most of the time.

...It just helps.

[He hesitates, then switches channels. He'd rather keep it all in, hidden away, but... There should be some people who know the importance of his heart, and he may as well start with the person he'd first judged as not completely terrible once the wickedness settled in.]

A heart is like an...anchor. Without it, things swing wildly. I either feel too little or too much. Most things just change into hate. I only really care about a few people besides myself. Even love becomes obsession instead.

When I first cast the spell, I thought I would be fine. But then I argued with my sister, and I...hurt her. I'd never do that. But I did, and I don't want to again. That doesn't always get factored in, during the bad times. With this heart, or substitute, or whatever, I should be able to control myself. Be the me I want.

[The guy wants a filter, Sans will let him have it. The guy's entitled to keep everyone from knowin' his grievances individually and by name. So he can air 'em privately. And, hey. From one "heartless" guy to another, there might be some solidarity. Somethin' along those lines.

He can understand hurting family. Hating yourself for doing it. There's some lines you just don't wanna cross.

He listens. Digests it - figuratively, naturally, 'cause the guy don't have a digestive tract to speak of.]

Sounds a little like a SOUL. What we call it - the ability to feel things, to care. Back home, we call it a SOUL. There's ways to clear those benchmarks. Cheat the system. Make it so you don't have to feel a damn thing.

Not to say you can't still be a good person, if you just try. No real just about it, maybe. Harder than it looks, 'specially with those barriers in place.

[LOVE can block away everything, even the very worst of it.]

Question is: if you can't get this heart of yours, are you willin' to try anyway?

[A SOUL, huh. He's heard of that before. Mostly when people talked about the dead, but even then there were other words more commonly used. Ghosts, memories... He supposed it was something more like his grandfather, who died despite his working heart and body. Just...gone one day.]

I am trying! Do you know how hard it is to just ask? And then everyone acts like I'm insane, or doing nothing, and it's frustrating all over again!

[video - for the good of all of us (except the ones who are dead).]

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