[video - for the good of all of us (except the ones who are dead).]

[purpleknee]

Oh Abeegail, what am I to do? I need to help five people and fill them with hope so I can get something that makes me feel like I have a heart again! Because I don't have a heart inside my body, which apparently means far more to me than it does for most of the people in this stupid cave. Hmn? What's that Beeatrice, this trade is basically impossible for me without the thing I'm trading for? Right you are! How smart, and how quickly you realized it, you smart little bee.

[His faux enthusiasm drops and he glares flatly at the camera.]

Come help a witch help you to help himself help us all. I have healing magic and a temper. If you think this is cheating, I don't want to hear it, and I only want things that will actually help. I'm serious, I'm trying to be good, here.

...Oh, and it goes against everything else I'm trying to do here, but I should let you know that the bees I found can't make honey. Maybe if you tell Delight or someone they can, she'll believe you and the copies will be able to, I don't know. I don't really care.

[He's screwed.]

Comments

[purpleknee]

[Look, he's...really desperate to inspire hope.]

My name is Warrick Chopper. The prickly thing comes and goes.

[oversear]

My name is Armand. Nice to meet you.

And what are you like without the thorns and barbs?

[purpleknee]

Less thorny and barby I guess.

[He isn't...quite sure how to answer that. It was a lot easier to extol his virtues the first time he was wicked, before he knew the fear of becoming something else. Now he just felt kinda gross. He hates everything, including himself. So he deflects a bit to his interests, rather than his character.]

I like books and dogs. There aren't many good books here but I know there is at least one good dog. Fire's pretty cool, but I'm less likely to use it when I'm in control. Right now I would burn three buildings for one entertaining book.

[oversear]

Books and dogs are very respectable. I spent most of my time with films and recordings, but I understand the appeal of books.

[ He hesitates. He happens to have a book. A very damning book. Filled with crimes that paint him in a horrible light. But he could surely rip out that one particular page. ]

Perhaps we can make an exchange. No burning buildings and I will lend you the book that is in my possession.

[purpleknee]

[...!]

What kind of book?

[oversear]

A cautionary tale. About the Undead. Vampires.

[purpleknee]

[Hmmmn.]

I've never read about that sort of thing before. People in Oz didn't really die until the last several years, so the undead wasn't really something to write about.

[oversear]

[ Oz? That was weird. It might explain why this man is green, however. ]

It's a morbidly fascinating read. The protagonist weaves his story well.

Oz is where you are from? How did they escape death?

[purpleknee]

Then I think that's a fair trade.

[Especially since he was refusing himself the pleasure or arson already, while on this mission.]

Our beloved princess Ozma had a spell that kept everyone healthy and happy. When she disappeared, her blessing did, too.

[oversear]

Excellent.

[ Armand is not fond of the idea of someone unstable potentially setting everything ablaze while he daylight sleeps. ]

A powerful sorceress, then. Is this the true Oz you speak of?

[purpleknee]

She isn't a sorceress, she's a fairy child. Except when she isn't a child sometimes? It's complicated.

[When your princess isn't only genderqueer, but agequeer...]

If by true Oz you mean the one the Dorothies visit, then yes.

[oversear]

I see. I have a hard time imagining the spectrum of magic so I will take your word for it.

[ Armand's so basic. ]

Yes, that is the one I mean. Have you met Dorothy?

[purpleknee]

[It doesn't help that Oz has specific titles.]

There's been more than one. I've been to one of their funerals but the Dorothy I met was actually an Emma. I like her a lot more than the Dorothies.

[oversear]

I see. So, Emma went in place of a Dorothy. Were you lovers?

[purpleknee]

[SPITS]

EXCUSE YOU THAT'S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS

[oversear]

[ Shrug. Just finding out about his new bro. ]

Apologies. I did not think it was a sensitive subject.

[purpleknee]

AT LEAST START WITH FRIEND OR GIRLFRIEND DON'T JUMP STRAIGHT TO LOVERS

[oversear]

[ Right, "girlfriends" were a thing nowadays. Committing that to memory. He's laughing, though. ]

Wouldn't a girlfriend be a lover? In more poetic words?

[purpleknee]

THAT MAKES IT SOUNDS LIKE

THINGS

HAPPENED

[burn him]

[oversear]

[ Things didn't happen? That's tragic. ]

Then you are a gentleman of sorts. Forgive me for my assumption.

[purpleknee]

[opens mouth

closes it

lays head on desk]

it's not

we just started dating before I got here

that's all

[oversear]

[ Oh no, he's adorable. ]

Ah. Congratulations are in order, I suppose.

[purpleknee]

[Later Warrick is going to lay down on top of the bookshelf and stare at the ceiling, wondering if that would even be an eventuality, with his curse. A kiss had burned him, so... Uh... Uh.]

thanks I guess

anyway I'm a lot more tolerable when she's around but I'd rather her not have to be here too so

trying out stupid Hope's stupid offer

[oversear]

She emulates a heart for you? That is rather romantic.

I understand the sentiment. I miss my paramours but I do not wish them to be here.

Perhaps, if you have healing magic, you should offer your services to the clinic. Anyone terminally ill could use the hope of becoming better.

[purpleknee]

[buries face in hands ugh it's dumb and sappy but also true]

Multiple paramours? Are you polyamorous or just...talking history?

[He doesn't really want to push on the subject, but he wants to get off of the topic of his own love life for a while, and even in Oz, polyamory wasn't super common. He only knows of Hercilia...]

One time I offered my services instead of the clinic and people just got mad at me so I don't want to work for the clinic.