[video - for the good of all of us (except the ones who are dead).]

[purpleknee]

Oh Abeegail, what am I to do? I need to help five people and fill them with hope so I can get something that makes me feel like I have a heart again! Because I don't have a heart inside my body, which apparently means far more to me than it does for most of the people in this stupid cave. Hmn? What's that Beeatrice, this trade is basically impossible for me without the thing I'm trading for? Right you are! How smart, and how quickly you realized it, you smart little bee.

[His faux enthusiasm drops and he glares flatly at the camera.]

Come help a witch help you to help himself help us all. I have healing magic and a temper. If you think this is cheating, I don't want to hear it, and I only want things that will actually help. I'm serious, I'm trying to be good, here.

...Oh, and it goes against everything else I'm trying to do here, but I should let you know that the bees I found can't make honey. Maybe if you tell Delight or someone they can, she'll believe you and the copies will be able to, I don't know. I don't really care.

[He's screwed.]

Comments

[muscovy]

Why didn't you just die?

[That's what humans normally do when their hearts are removed from their bodies, after all.]

[purpleknee]

[WHAT THE FUCKING FUCK]

You can't just ask people why they're not dead like that!

[jfc... But he's kinda tired of holding this heart up that high, so he sighs and offers it out to Muscovy.]

It made a hole in my chest and I healed it. If I wasn't a mender, I probably would have died. Don't know how the old witch of the west survived it. Must have been Ozma's spell.

[muscovy]

[He'll take it and quickly returns it to it's correct place.]

It is a good way of asking because it is clear. If you use too many euphemisms, people will just get confused, yes?

...So you're the new witch of the West now?

[purpleknee]

You could have done without the "just", at least!

[That was just extra rude... Warrick places his hands on his hips, glaring down at Muscovy.]

Yes, witch or warlock. I'm very important.

[muscovy]

But you aren't in the west anymore.

[Nor are they in the east.]

You're in Hadriel.

[purpleknee]

[eyetwitch]

I realize that, but it's still my title and responsibility. Do you have someone I can call to extract you?

[muscovy]

Why would you want to do that?

[purpleknee]

Because you're wretched and annoying.

[muscovy]

You are very mean and rude.

I tried to help you, yes?

[purpleknee]

[ -- well. That's true. Not that it amounted to anything.]

And all you've done since then is call me a rude, inhuman liar.

[muscovy]

Just non-human.

Like me and Rey and Sans.

[purpleknee]

That's basically the s -- oh, you know Sans, too?

[He's still distractable...]

[muscovy]

He stands out, yes?

[He kind of assumes that 99% of the population of Hadriel know Sans.]

[purpleknee]

I guess so. Good thing he's only intolerable about a third of the time.

[Usually when Warrick was already being pissy and Sans just happened to disagree with him. Or announce his disappointment.]

Anyway, you still need to learn some manners.

[muscovy]

Maybe he's only intolerable to you because you're mean.

[He's found Sans quite easy to get along with, even though he can be annoyingly hard to motivate to do anything.]

[purpleknee]

I'm not going to lie and say that isn't possibly the case.

[Because it's probably the case.]

[muscovy]

You don't have to worry about that. One day I will be strong and then I will make sure that everyone can become friends.

[purpleknee]

[what]

What does that even mean...

[muscovy]

When I'm strong I can make people stop being silly and be friends instead, yes?

[purpleknee]

No?

[NNN??????]

That's a very wicked thing to say. You're kind of creepy, you know.

[muscovy]

Everyone will be a lot happier then.

[Just you wait and see. There is nothing wicked about this, why would Warrick say that.]

[purpleknee]

No. They won't be. Not if you make them. Stop?

[THIS IS THE WICKEDEST SHIT]

[muscovy]

[...Okay, maybe he needs to amend the truth a bit to communicate it better.]

They will just need a little time to realize that they're happier, maybe.

[purpleknee]

No. That just means they'll be really unhappy and you're fine with that because you think you're riiiiiight oh fates I'm the worst, I'm the actual worst.

[muscovy]

[....okay, what was that.

He's just going to stare at Warrick and listen. Please, finish that thought out loud.]