hadriel | oo2. VIDEO

[ It's late at night and another video by Armand pops up. But instead of asking for animal sacrifices this time, he's got a bit of art show horror going on. Armand is pointing the camera in first person view and it settles directly on the oven that is in his kitchen. The oven light is on, but shadows are being cast by whatever is actually sitting inside. Once the camera focuses on the oven window, there appears to be a head sitting on the rack. It will quickly become obvious it is not a human head but one of the Working Joes that occupy the caves. ]

They do not melt or smoulder. It is truly impressive technology.

[ A stark white hand reaches out from behind the camera and turns up the temperature on the oven. He goes back to filming the head for several minutes, nothing but silence that is occasionally interrupted by a dull thumping sound somewhere off screen. It sounds like someone is walking into a wall.

The head does not melt. There might be a bit of a disappointed air as he terminates the feed. ]

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So your first instinct was to, uh...burn it?

It still moved after I removed the head. I was curious what else it could withstand.

Might be it belongs to somebody.

[There's an awful lot of things that people are still pickin' up from when objects from home came spillin' on into the city.]

You think someone owns such a head?

[ A beat. ]

It is still good as new.

Beats me. You could always ask.

[People've discovered weirder. And the fact that it ain't really burnin' up indicates that it's more than just a head of some sort.]

Is this video not enough of an advertisement?

[ He seems unconcerned that someone might be outraged that he's cooking their head. ]

Might've been better to start it off with "hey, is this your head?" instead of, y'know, roastin' it alive.

It was never alive.

[ HAHA HE CAN JOKE TOO. ]

You might be surprised.

[Floatin' heads can be more animate than you might think. Not that he'd, uh...know a whole lot about that. Technically speakin'.]

The only way this head could surprise me is if it actually burst into flame.

Just 'cause it ain't talkin' don't mean it ain't alive.

[Just puttin' that out there.]

[ That is an uncomfortably familiar idea to Armand. ]

It has wires and other technical sorcery sticking out. It is not alive.

[ And if it were. Shruuuuug. ]

Robots can be alive.

[Mettaton certainly was.]

[ He just gives him a look. Surely, this was a joke. ]

To be created by another's hand. That is--

[ He stops to think about that for a moment. He decides that definition is too uncomfortably broad. ]

They lack organs. Blood. There is no life there.

[Sans might be smiling as is typical for him, but it's no joke.]

And? Do I look like somebody who's got blood or organs?

[He taps the side of his skull for emphasis. Sounds hollow.]

[ Armand falls silent and watches him with cautious eyes.

Then, nearly childishly he asks: ]

Then where does your soul lie?

Same place as anyone else's.

[That ain't really an answer at all. Not that he don't have a SOUL - he does, but he ain't in the habit of showin' it off to just anyone.]

[ Talking to this guy is like trying to catch an oiled up hog. ]

Then I will admit I have no idea where mine resides, so yours is a mystery as well.

[Welcome to conversations with Sans, every day.]

I guess that depends. You human?

[With a side of casually fishing for information, as you do.]

[ Oh my god, Sans. You can't just ask people if they're human.

Armand smiles but dislikes this feeling of scrutiny. ]

Of course. Do monsters often look the part of young boys?

You might be surprised. There's plenty of folk here that look human but ain't.

[He's learned it's best not to gauge things by appearances.]

I have not met one. But it is obvious where their souls are?

Most humans have 'em, yeah. Most monsters too.

[He'd be willin' to bet that Armand has probably met a few humans who ain't really human - the city's crawlin' with 'em, even if they don't make it too obvious at the outset.]

Say it were alive. Then the resurrection spell the gods have placed on us all does not extend to the monsters in the tunnels.

[ He's a regular old scientist, this one. ]

They ain't what we'd call monsters.

[Monsters got SOULs, and the things in the caves ain't monsters.]

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