hadriel | I'm Just A Soul Whose Intentions Are Good

[The first thing is that the phone has been propped between two branches on a tree in the orchard. Ushahin needs both hands for the task at hand. He's trying to peel a piece of fruit that has a bright purple skin on it. The problem is that if he tries to use his good hand to peel, his bad one can't hold onto it firmly enough, so it falls. If he tries to use his bad hand to peel while his good hand holds, his crippled fingers don't have enough force to break the skin. He'll be trying both methods alternately as he speaks in his usual soft tone.]

I was thinking tonight. A dangerous pastime, to be certain, but what I was thinking was this. How many of us who have been brought here are good? [He pauses, trying to get his nails under the skin, and he fails.]

I would ask how many of you here think you are a good person but-- [And there goes the fruit again, falling out of his bad left hand. He sighs and picks it back up.] --I don't think many of us have that high of a opinion of ourselves. I know I don't. [He's shattered too many minds and killed far too many people to think he's still got a soul anywhere close to being pure.]

So I will ask this. How many of you think those who are here with you are good people? Your family and friends, how many of them are good souls? [The fruit slips from his grasp once again.]

Damn. [He's given up trying to do this the nice, neat way. He ends the video by using his good hand for support, then biting down into the peel, and using his teeth to tear it partially off. It's not the most dignified method of being able to peel the fruit, but at this point, he's too stubborn to give up.]

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[He nods very firmly.]

Big bro is good, and Rey is good, and you're good, and Shadow is good too.

[He can think of one or two people that aren't, but they're really in the minority.]

Defining what is 'good' and what isn't is the tricky part, don't you think?

You have a kind heart, my young friend.

[Who better to judge who has goodness in them than Muscovy? He's probably one of the best people here.]

I do agree with you about Shadow. As for the others...well, that is harder.

[Ushahin spits out the peel, finally able to rip off the rest with what grip strength he has. Oh, there's a face he hasn't seen in months.]

Aye, that is the hard part. I've been called evil more times than I care to think upon. [He finally is able to bite into the fruit.] To describe it is difficult, but I know it when I see it in others.

You are [it's hard to put this one into words, and in the end he reaches for what poetic sense he has been taught by his lord father, by what feeling for storytelling he has been given just by his people possessing it] you are like a banya in a winter's night. There is cold and dark outside, but there is warmth and a fire that cannot be seen but felt at the core.

And Rey is a bit silly, but once she stops, she does her best to take care of one and offer the protection that she can find in oneself.

And big bro [who really is the easiest on his list]<|/small> is very bright and warm and will always help me.

What makes a person 'good' to you? Because most people can't be put into a category like that. [ It's all relative. ]

Why do you ask?

That is no way to think of yourself, Ushahin! You are very good! I know, because I am the goodest person around, and I can always recognize a fellow extremely good person! Why, everyone in Hadriel is extremely good! I can tell you this as an expert on things that are good!

[Oh look, it's Philosopher's Hour With Ushahin again. At least the guy is honest about his brain-breaking habits, huh? Not that it makes it any more palatable, exactly. Just vaguely understandable.]

Most people have it in 'em to be good. For whatever it's worth.

Don't always play out like that, but there y'go.

[Carlisle would have let this go unanswered, but now he's awake. Sigh.]

Looks can be deceiving.

It's all subjective, really. Whatever one person thinks makes someone "good" is going to be different from what another person believes that word to mean.

For instance, this place supposedly brings in those who are "evil" or "chaotic" -- yet there are many here who do not apply to either of those. From our own narrowed opinions, that is.

[Like Rey would think of Nick and Firo and Glacius to be good. Even Muscovy, and a few others. They're hardly perfect, but she is always willing to overlook the flaws and focus on the good as opposed to the bad.]

Of course I do.

[The look on his face softens.]

You're far better than you think you are, Shadow.

[He knows what Shadow thinks of himself. He's been inside his head often enough.]

Well, you certainly can't.

[Sorry, Sharon. He had to get that dig in considering how she treated him and Fetch last time they met.]

For me, it's when actions meet words and thoughts. So many people start off with good intentions and get lost along the way.

Call it curiosity. Where I am from, people are either said to be good or evil, with no middling ground.

I will agree that you are a good person. [His lips twitch into a smile. Papyrus has no guile whatsoever. It's refreshing.] As for the rest...well, I am not going to discourage your course of thoughts.

[He tilts his head, chewing on a slice of fruit as he watches Sans with his mismatched eyes. A simple question, but he doesn't think the answer is quite so simple when it comes to the skeleton. He's been inside his dreams often enough to know that.]

Is that how it is with you, Sans? Potential that has not quite come to what it could be?

What is your opinion then? Where do you see goodness in this place?

[He's not so certain he sees it in Rey. She's...different than most he has encountered. Then there is what he saw in her, that terrible power that makes her a being of fire, blood, and destruction. He doesn't think anyone truly good would have that within them.]

Not when you see more than one reality as I do. I see people as they present themselves and as they truly are.

[Of course, he sees them through the eyes of madness, so what he sees is just another point of view.]

Oh, you fucking wound me. [ She mocks the dig, but it did sting. She used to be a good person; Sharon had been a good person, Alessa, too, so long ago. ]

To me, good and bad is all about your perspective. The villain of the story is the hero in another.

That is a beautiful and generous description, my friend. [He'll have to remember that next time someone asks him exactly what he thinks of himself. Ushahin sometimes wonders if he is as terrible as he sometimes thinks.]

I shall take your word for it. You are one of those that has a gift for seeing the good in others even when they cannot see it themselves.

[Shush, Shadow, let them have a good opinion of you /paps]

[That is a really nice thing to say. Even though it is a bit silly when people think that they're terrible when they aren't.]

I only see what is there and put it in words, yes?

Well!! At the very least, you recognize my greatness. That is the first step! But the next, very important step is to agree with my expert assessment of the goodness of yourself! Perhaps you ought to work on self-affirmation exercises! Look in the mirror and tell your reflection, "You're great!" Do that twelve hundred times a day!

Some say that 'anyone can be a good person if they try.' In practice it is a different situation.

[Some people are just demons, in the end.]

I believe most I know would be considered "good".

[Boy. That sure is a question. Let's think about it for a minute here...

Nah.]

Sounds like you've already come to your very own conclusion there, haven't ya?

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I'm Just A Soul Whose Intentions Are Good | Video| OTA

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