Entry tags:
video; what's gonna be left of the world if you're not in it
[Sans has something in his hands. It's a bolt of fabric that he runs between his metacarpals with a distant, unfocused precision, something to idly turn between his phalanges as he speaks. Might take a moment to realize that the backdrop to his video ain't the typical one. It's not his room he's sitting in, after all. He's reclining atop a racecar bed. The sheets are perfectly made, as though the owner were planning on returning at some point. On the bedside table, there's a small stack of belongings that clash rather astutely with the layout of the place. A snowglobe, a binder, an ECHOcomm, and at the very far right of the frame, a folded-up sweater vest.
He dropped in to visit some pals of his, you see. Only to find they ain't around anymore.]
For those of you who knew 'em, seems the docs've gone home. You know the ones. Newt and Hermann. [A pause.] Dr. Gottlieb.
[Being a pain in the coccyx suddenly gets to be less funny when there ain't anybody to yell at you about it, huh?]
Hope it's home they went, and not, uh...wherever it was before they got here. Yao know what I'm talkin' about.
[He folds up the cloth in his hands and stands up, grinning at the camera without a lick of despair. Maybe there's somethin' a bit tired to the whole facade, but who can say? He's always tired.]
I hate to tell ya, but it looks like my bro might'a been the guy to slack off for once. Funny, right? Takin' that hard-earned title from yours truly. Here I thought I was supposed to be the guy who nips off without a word.
[Those with sharp eyes might pick up that the cloth ain't just any old thing. It's Papyrus's sash delineating him as an official member of the City Guard - twice torn, twice mended, and now without an owner. Like hell Sans is cut out to wear a thing like this.]
'Pologies to the Guard. Looks like you're one member short. 'Fraid I can't help ya there either; Papyrus, he's got some big shoes to fill.
[He winks at the lens before reaching for the communicator and then, almost as an afterthought, adds:]
Someone ought'a take care of the lab the docs built. Lotta their stuff's still in there, too, and lyin' around my place. Figure it should go to the people who knew 'em best.
[Y'know, whoever that is. But you all know who you are, don't ya?
Yeah. He'd think so.
He cuts the feed.]
He dropped in to visit some pals of his, you see. Only to find they ain't around anymore.]
For those of you who knew 'em, seems the docs've gone home. You know the ones. Newt and Hermann. [A pause.] Dr. Gottlieb.
[Being a pain in the coccyx suddenly gets to be less funny when there ain't anybody to yell at you about it, huh?]
Hope it's home they went, and not, uh...wherever it was before they got here. Yao know what I'm talkin' about.
[He folds up the cloth in his hands and stands up, grinning at the camera without a lick of despair. Maybe there's somethin' a bit tired to the whole facade, but who can say? He's always tired.]
I hate to tell ya, but it looks like my bro might'a been the guy to slack off for once. Funny, right? Takin' that hard-earned title from yours truly. Here I thought I was supposed to be the guy who nips off without a word.
[Those with sharp eyes might pick up that the cloth ain't just any old thing. It's Papyrus's sash delineating him as an official member of the City Guard - twice torn, twice mended, and now without an owner. Like hell Sans is cut out to wear a thing like this.]
'Pologies to the Guard. Looks like you're one member short. 'Fraid I can't help ya there either; Papyrus, he's got some big shoes to fill.
[He winks at the lens before reaching for the communicator and then, almost as an afterthought, adds:]
Someone ought'a take care of the lab the docs built. Lotta their stuff's still in there, too, and lyin' around my place. Figure it should go to the people who knew 'em best.
[Y'know, whoever that is. But you all know who you are, don't ya?
Yeah. He'd think so.
He cuts the feed.]

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[Now ain't the time to get into it, nah. It's too much for that right now. Everything's - too much. He's got no energy for arguments, for discussions on ethics and the nature of consequences and personal justice. Can't even imagine hypotheticals, for now, worries about if it had been his brother, if he'd'a acted any different.
Don't matter much now, one way or another. Can't picture it all right.]
Asriel and Frisk been copin' all right?
[The and yourself? is all but implied, but the three of 'em all have that tendency to focus on the other two before they'll even so much as mention themself, if they do at all. Best to start with the external.]
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[But both what Sans asks and doesn't ask is pretty clear. And it's a hard question to answer as well. All of them certainly were better now that the blood was wiped away and their wounds bandaged up. No more fear of death, of the sound of a building crashing down around their ears or the awful, awful words of all of their doubles and the truths they held.
By no means are they better, however. Unspoken actions and coping down the words of a man that did not exist to do right by everyone they ever loved. It's okay. We'll be good.]
I spoke with Asriel after he revived...however, I am not sure how he is coping. [Chara doesn't know if Sans knows what they do, but they won't say anything either way] As for Frisk I have been keeping an eye on them. Their wounds will heal in time.
[For what it's worth.]
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God. God this is his problem with secrets, with promises, the whole ethos behind all of 'em, and it makes him a hypocrite but he's so beyond caring at this point, what he is, that it don't rightly matter.]
I think I scared him.
[That was...cruel. Even for him, that was cruel. Uncalled for. He wouldn't fault Chara for choosin' to take umbrage with that. Someone who hurts your brother, makes him cry - that'd be playing real dirty, huh?]
Don't think he remembers what it is his twin said.
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And speaking of words...so Sans did speak to Asriel. His double as well, if Sans 'scared' him. Given what Asriel double had told Chara about the true nature of Flowey it was likely that the skeleton also knew.]
I hope he does not. You two spoke, I assume?
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[Waitin' for someone else, no doubt. He doubts Asriel had much thought to spare to a Smiley Trashbag who judges kids as guilty unless they're proven innocent.]
I, uh...
[The flower. The king's kid. One and the same. And Alphys, she's the one who spiraled it all down to that. Through no fault or intent of her own, but still - still, 'cause of her, he lived like that. For god knows how long, through however many different iterations.
God. And he thought he was livin' in hell.]
Had no idea. It turns out.
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When Chara walked away from Asriel's double and finally found time to sit down and think about the things Flowey had said and done. What Asriel had said and done.
He was the one who tried to kill Frisk when they first fell into the Underground. The one that stalked them throughout their journey and trapped them in a loop of death. He killed Frisk over and over until they managed to overcome that creature. And Chara can't help but remember the fact that Flowey possessed the power to Save and Load before Frisk came along. The things that someone without emotion could do, said they did. Saved everyone. Killed everyone. Read every book, burned every book.
A flower that, last Chara saw, was terrified of them. They terrified their Best Friend. They were going to kill their Best Friend.
Asriel. Beloved, kind Asriel. The one who had gone and saved a worthless human that had thrown away their life once it became clear what would happen if they stayed on the Surface. Who played Monsters and Humans with them, who loved them--
"You'd think everyone's learned by now, what happens to the people you claim to love."
Chara knows. And so...]
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Nor did I. I did know that he came here without his SOUL, but not that he and that flower were one in the same.
[Funny, isn't it? That Asriel's supposed "Best Friend" did not know that, hun?]
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He trusts he don't have to.
He and the flower. One and the same. There's almost no correlation there, so completely outta the ballpark of any theory Sans bounced around in his skull that, hell, no wonder he never pinned that one down.
Not so smart as the flower thought, then, huh?]
I'm sorry, kiddo.
[Quiet, distant. Not restrained, but - drained, the fatigue weighing deep and heavy in his bones. Not so surprised to find that right now, he kinda means it.]
You're supposed to - you keep 'em safe. You keep family safe. You keep your brother safe. And you can't - what d'you do when you can't?
[...who's he talkin' about again?]
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Sans speaks and they do understand what he's saying. Adults always protected their siblings and they would be expected to if their parents
Yes. Stop.
But a bitter, awful part of them wants to ask "What do you do if you're the reason your brother suffers? What if you're the poison rather than the cure?"
Asriel was the one that suffered the consequences of Chara's actions. Judgement came down on the wrong person. Now there was something the power of Determination would be useful for.
What do you do when you can't? Nothing. Chara doesn't say anything in response for a long while.]
I know Sans. If there was something I could do to change that I would.
[Even ask the Gods, if they could.]
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What do you do if you're the reason your brother suffers?
If Papyrus ever suffered, he...kept quiet about it. And some part of him, some ugly part, thinks that maybe he'd do that for Sans's sake. 'Cause he wouldn't wanna see his brother unhappy.
You never wanna see your brother unhappy. Much less twisted into something beyond recognition. And then when you're faced with the person you know without question is to blame -
Ha ha, wow. Let's not go there.]
I know.
[He ducks his skull by way of apology. Shouldn't've brought it up at all, but his whole life is a big long concatenation of shoulds and shouldn'ts, so hell - what's one more?]
'S not a feeling I'd wish on anybody.
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What do you do if you're the one who asked your brother for poison?
Nothing.
But again, let's not go there.]
Nor would I.
[It's a far cry from the demon when they first arrived, so ready to claim that they didn't have emotions. But when it came to those who Chara loved, they had to have everything and more. That's the least they could offer.
Chara shifts a little before looking at Sans.]
Sans...I understand if you may not be fond of Asriel after this. But I will have to request that you hold of on judgement.
[Request, not a promise. He doesn't have to promise Chara anything. But it'd be...for the best.]
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But Chara - don't think it mattered much to 'em. When your brother goes cold and quiet, dust or worse than dust, it don't much matter if it was a mistake. If the kid just didn't know any better. He attacked 'em, and they hit back.
There's still an ugly coil of rage about your chest, 'cause of all the people they could'a hurt, it had to be him.
...
And that's the second time they've asked him to withhold judgment. And it ain't a promise at all, and he can appreciate that. They've learned each other's vices and yet - not stepped in to use 'em.
Maybe that's something like trust. He wouldn't know.]
I ain't planning on judging anybody anytime soon.
[Hardly cut out to be the guy to do it, right?
He pauses. The adds, as a lazy afterthought:]
'Cept Hux. Man killed a few planets' worth of innocent people. Far as I'm concerned, you and Asriel ain't nowhere near his level.
[Nowhere near his LV either. Funny, right?]
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Chara acknowledge that accident, but that didn't mean they would suffer what she had done to him in silence. Anger like a dragon, twisted justice, ect. Accidents had consequences and nobody was above that. Not themselves, not Alphys.
There's very little point in using those vices now. Chara had their name back and Sans knew the dangers of promises. So....no point. There's no point in finding a thicker brick wall to slam their heads against once the old one wears out. Enough of that for now.
Chara snorts at the sudden dig at another man that Sans appears to have a healthy dislike of, for a fairly good reason.]
I will take that as a compliment. Did this man tell you this or did you find out by accident?
[It's not like Chara ever kept quiet about what they did, but shouldn't killing a few planets' worth of people be kept on the down-low?]
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He was having a very public argument about it with his roommate.
[Didn't regret it for a second, either. So yeah, Chara's got a good several steps above him simply by virtue of expressing remorse, if infrequently.
He's too tired for all but the rote amount of disgust but - fact of the matter, the man didn't express a whit of regret for anything he'd done, the millions of lives he'd doomed.]
Seemed pretty proud of himself.
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But it's probably time to move the conversation away from dead brothers.]
He sounds like a real winner.
[Chara's being sarcastic. Pride was a downfall, so on and so forth.]
I certainly hope he isn't a problem here.
[Or the Gods got any ideas. It's not like they were anymore a beacon of Good Life Choices than Chara was.]
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So, yeah. "Not as much of a genocidal maniac as you could have been" award. Be proud.
He hums his agreement, wearily.]
You and me both, kid.
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But yes. They'll take that award.]
I suppose that all the heroes here will be keeping an eye on him, at any rate. And if worse comes to worse again, I can always tell you more knock knock jokes until things calm down.
['Again', hun? Well why not. It's better than thinking about things have, could and will go to hell in a hand basket. There's always time for bad jokes, until nobody can remember Chara.]
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The right one. Not the left, this go around. Hopefully - never the left again. But hope's a silly, fragile thing, and it ain't for creatures like them.]
Hey, uh.
[It ain't much. But it's - something, maybe.]
Same goes to you.
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But they still had jokes until the miles run out. Toriel had taught them quite a few. Little presents until Chara can give him that final gift.
The Fallen Child just simply smiles. Maybe they could have this for now.]
The couch is useful for a regulated break, if you plan on continuing your walk after this conversation.
[It's there for now, just like last time.]
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But maybe that's just him. He's tired. Too bone tired to touch that just now.]
Thanks, kid.
[With any luck, neither Asriel nor Frisk will question why there's a skeleton crashed out on the couch. They'll just accept it without question.
He'll end up there in a matter of minutes anyway.
Somethin' about this place is - better. Better than a too-empty house, bereft of Papyrus. At least for now.]
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But for now...every single one of them was going to need some sleep.]
I will be in the kitchen if you need me.
[He probably won't, unless the Gods decide that couches suddenly eat skeletons. But Sans can rest easy here before resuming his walk. This place was not better by any stretch of the imagination.
But it was home. And for now that was enough.]
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It'll take more than kind words and bad jokes to ease what's happened. More than even hugs and the offers for forgiveness. But it's something, maybe. It's something, and maybe, given time, it'll be enough.
Funny how that happens.
Even funnier, he sleeps easier than he has in a while.]