hadriel | audio & action cw: mention of suicide

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audio & action cw: mention of suicide

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[ It's been a rough few weeks and Will knows that the oncoming weeks ahead are probably going to be just as bad for him. He has a lot of explaining to do and a few apologies to make, which isn't the easiest thing to deal with. His double caused a significant amount of damage both to others as well as to himself.

He's not in the best mindset as he sits out in the cold, just a few hundred yards from the colosseum. The thought of entering it and letting whatever beasts have been brought through the door maim him or worse. With bruises from head to toe and a few fractures scattered around his bones here and there, falling from the window of his fourth story spire had left him a little worse for wear, as had the final fight with his double.

Beside him were a few bottles of water, a small handful of chocolate bars and what was left of one of his bottles of aspirin, Will had originally intended to offer some help to anyone leaving the arena in poor shape, only his mood had gotten the better of him. He knew it was dangerous for him to be out in public right now, what with several people cursing his name and after his blood, but Will wasn't thinking straight (when was he ever?) Stricken with grief after watching someone special to him, take their own life in order to save his, Will was in a state of both physical and mental pain. Still, he would sit and wait, see if anyone needed his help, or if he could even muster the effort to help when the time came. ]

I have a few supplies... If anyone might need them?

[ Stroking his dog, Winston who acted as a guard around his deflated master. ]

[ Private audio to Tyki ]

[ Will was an intelligent man, it didn't take him long after picking out a few words that he recognized in Portuguese to work out roughly what the rest of the message meant. The part he was truly struggling with, was deciding if it was a prank or not?

After some pondering, deciding he really had nothing to lose, Will picked up his device, switched the settings to private and contacted the number left on the flyer. ]

I might have a need for your offered services.

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[ Typical Pell, adamant to help. On the inside Will was smiling, his face was too bruised and sore to do it on the outside. ]

I don't want you in my apartment...

[ That came out colder than it was meant to, and Will winced pulling a face, finally looking up at Pell. ]

Not... Not because I don't want you there... I don't want anyone there... It's not...

[ He couldn't bring himself to say the words, to tell Pell that the body of his doubles victim was still there... will hadn't the strength to take her down yet, but he was working on it. ]

...

[ Oh. It's not as bad as it sounded. Or maybe it's worse. The body's still there, isn't it? Pell chews his bottom lip, wondering if that's something he wants to argue over or not. ]

My house, then. There's a spare room, you don't have to deal with anyone else.

[ Will shook his head, his cheek wincing up a little as he chewed on his thoughts like Pell chewed on his own lip. ]

I have things I still need to do... I just need to get my strength up before I handle it.

[ Was he that transparent? Was it so easy for Pell to guess? he couldn't ask anyone for help and honestly, having Pell in his house might have brought back some untasty memories. Memories of Pell sharing his. ]

I couldn't... I've caused you enough trouble as it is.

How are you supposed to get your strength up injured?

[ And he's willing to bet that Will's not eating properly, either. Not that Pell can talk -- he's a bit off balance, himself, but this? This he can do. ]

Just come by, alright? I'm going to check on the newcomers now.

I'll live...

[ Oh Will knew he was acting like a bit of a brat about this, but he was just still so confused. He didn't want anyone interfering with him anymore. He didn't want to have any friends or get to know people yet he couldn't just avoid Pell or the rest he'd come to care for and trust. In fact, he was still considering going into the arena and letting the new monsters finish him off. ]

Sure. I'll do that.

[ Despite agreeing, Will had no intention of going over to Pell's place. He didn;t want their pity or what them trying to talk with him about what happened. ]

Alright. This afternoon, then.

[ And he's off, suspecting that Will won't show.

He doesn't.

Unsurprised but also undeterred, Pell steels himself for the worst and heads to Will's apartment with his bag of medical supplies, knocking thrice.

Let him in, Will. He could come in if he really wanted to but he's going to wait and give Will a chance to do the right thing. ]

[ Will jumped when he heard the knocking at his door. Ignoring it at first of course. He moved and pressed an ear to the wooden frame, trying to listen, to see if they were still there. ]

Who is? I'm not taking visitors today, thanks.

[ He had an idea it was Pell, but honestly it could be anyone he'd been avoiding lately. ]

I don't appreciate being lied to, Will.

[ His voice is light, though, not scolding or angry, just softly truthful. ]

I'm going to wait right here until you let me in. We need to talk, at least.

Pell?

[ Will closed his eyes, leaning forwards against the door and letting his head rest there as his face chewed up into various different expressions.

That was right, he'd agreed to go over to Pell's after they spoke outside of the arena. Sighing deeply and stepping away from the door. Pacing the hall a bit, growing more and more frustrated with himself. ]

I didn't lie to you... I just... I'm terrible company, you know that.

...you've always been fine company.

[ Pell's standards might be a bit different than Will is used to, though. He presses a hand to the door, trying to sense what's going on behind it. ]

Let me in.

[ Will pressed his back to the door, sliding down until he was sitting on the floor. Arms wrapped around himself in as much comfort as he could offer himself. ]

Heh, somehow I really doubt that.

[ The window was still broken from where he and his double had fallen through, he'd covered it with a bed sheet but the cool air still crept in. Same for the body.... A sheet hung over where she was impaled. He had someone coming to take care of it, he just had to come to terms with it all. It wasn't healthy, he knew that, but he couldn't bring himself to do anything about it. He was overwhelmed. ]

... I can't

[ Hearing the voice shift to come from below, Pell sinks down as well, leaning against the door. ]

Will... I'm sorry. I wish I could have stopped either of them. But it wasn't me who hurt you, please believe that. I'd never do what he did. Just let me in and we can deal with this.

[ There they sat, back to back with nothing but a door between them. Will felt bad about not letting Pell in, but he was scared. Scared that Pell wouldn't look at him the same, Wouldnt think of him the same. He had no idea how much was passed on from Pell's double... Will recalled very sick things his own did. ]

I... I know it wasn't you... I just...

[ He's trying not to cry. He's also trying not to give in and let Pell in. He knows they need to talk, he just doesn't know if he's ready.

Standing up once more, Will unlocked the door but left it closed. Pell could enter at his own will. Will moved away and leaned against the wall in the hallway instead. ]

[ It was all passed on, and they'll need to address that sometime, the dissonance between what he saw and the person he believed Will to be, but for now he just wants to make sure Will is healed. He hears the door unlock and climbs to his feet slowly, reaching for the knob... it turns and he steps inside quietly. Where did the man go, though?

He doesn't look at the figure in the living room, ignores the stench. He's seen and smelled worse, after all. ]

Will?

[ Will was in the kitchen, leaning against the wall. When he heard Pell's soft voice call out, he turned and poked his head around the corner. The moment he saw Pell's face, Will started to sob, shaking his head as he cried uncontrollably. ]

I'm sorry...

[ He said, as he tried to dry his eyes, yet the tears kept flowing. Dropping down to his knees and sitting on the floor, his back to the wall. He couldn't look the other man in the eyes, it was too painful. He thought he'd be alright once they were face to face in the same room, but panic and sorrow took over. ]

[ The movement catches Pell's eye and he moves quickly to Will, kneeling at his side. Instinct has him reaching out to touch Will's face, but he's impossibly gentle about it -- he doesn't try to get Will to look at him, just strokes tears off his cheek and brushes unruly bangs out of his eyes. ]

...for what? You didn't do anything.

[ Neither had he, not really, but Will knows what horrors he's capable of, now. Even if he would never actually do the things his double did, he could. ]

[ Instinct told Will to pull away, yet he remained still and in place. Allowing Pell to stroke his tears away as he closed his eyes, still unable to look at him. When he finally spoke, his voice was meek and small. ]

That's exactly it, though, Pell... I did nothing... I didn't even try to stop what was hapening.

What? Will, he had you beaten and tied up. What were you supposed to do? And you... I mean, this happened because you fought him, didn't it? That's why you're hurt?

[ He hadn't been strong enough to stop his own double; Cal had taken that duty. ]

[ Will looked at Pell then, a slight startle to his eyes. How did Pell know he'd been tied up by his double? Did he know what his own double knew? Like Will did with his? A mild panic washed over him, looking back down at the floor finally. ]

Yea... That's why I'm hurt... But I didn't think you knew that...

[ Pell keeps up the gentle stroking of Will's hair, and with the contact he can feel the man's panic, the realization. Whoops. He'd meant to break that more carefully. ]

That part was a guess. But he did... share things with me.

.. I see...

[ Will swallowed, sighed deeply and pulled his knees up to his chest, resting his face against them as he wrapped his arms around his legs. ]

... So you think I'm a monster now too then? That I'm just like him... I have to be, right? You seen it.

[ Nope. Nooooooope. He shakes his head hard enough that strands slip from the braid to frame his face. ]

I'm not sure what I saw, Will. It doesn't... fit, with what I know of you. Not at all. I thought I'd at least give you a chance to help me understand.

[ Looking up from his knees where his face was buried, Will noticed the hair that had now fallen around Pell's face. He reached up and with a soft but shaking hand, tucked one of the strands behind Pell's ear, offering a very mild, small, smile. ]

I don't understand it either... I don't know if I can even explain...

[ Will found it hard to find the line, between his own mind and the things he lets into it. ]

Lately, everythings become blurred. Memories, dreams, hallucinations... I can't be sure what's my own thinking and what's that of those I've investigated... Whenever I invite another's mind into my own... They leave a piece behind.

[ The gesture gets a small smile in return, grateful and encouraging. It fades to confusion, though -- inviting a mind into one's own has likely a very different meaning for hara. ]

What do you mean invite another? You mean they aren't your memories he took? I could help you sort through them.

I er... I'm not sure anymore...

[ Will frowned. Touching his temples and closing his eyes. It was hard, ever since Hobbs' death, Will had felt responsible for Abigail. He saw himself as a father figure, and that blurred his own feelings with the thought of her actual father... The man who murdered all those girls. ]

When I use my sight to see what's happened, what's been though and their design... I become them in my head... I struggle to separate what's me from what's them... Yea... it wasn't my own memories he took... Just my warped version of events.

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pellameno - 2017-03-16 02:00 (UTC) - Expand

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feelslikeimspilling - 2017-03-20 22:40 (UTC) - Expand

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audio & action cw: mention of suicide

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