Jill Valentine (
survivethis) wrote in
hadriel2017-03-23 09:49 pm
Entry tags:
Video
[There's a very remorseful looking Jill Valentine addressing the network today. As terrible a she feels, she's not going to shrink from this moment. She looks right into the camera and speaks with the true feeling in her heart.]
Hi, everyone. I want to formally apologize for my words and actions during the last couple of weeks. I just... I know I'm not the only one who was affected by the choosing of the gods, but I can't hide behind that as an excuse for my behavior.
[She feels absolutely terrible for the way she treated some people in particular.]
I especially want to apologize to Danse, Jo, Sharon, and Curufin. I want you to know I would never normally say those things to you. And I'm so very, very sorry. If there's anything I can do to make it up to you, or anyone else I offended, just tell me and you have my word it'll be done.
Thanks for listening.
Hi, everyone. I want to formally apologize for my words and actions during the last couple of weeks. I just... I know I'm not the only one who was affected by the choosing of the gods, but I can't hide behind that as an excuse for my behavior.
[She feels absolutely terrible for the way she treated some people in particular.]
I especially want to apologize to Danse, Jo, Sharon, and Curufin. I want you to know I would never normally say those things to you. And I'm so very, very sorry. If there's anything I can do to make it up to you, or anyone else I offended, just tell me and you have my word it'll be done.
Thanks for listening.

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Thank you. Maybe...
[She never really took to therapy. It's something that was always offered again and again to agents; especially those who had been in the field as long as Jill has.]
Maybe you can tell me when would be a good time?
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Thank you. I appreciate that.
[Just because he's new doesn't mean she'll assume he has nothing better to do than listen to her problems.]
How's tomorrow? I can come by after my shift. If it's not too late.
[Personal problems or not, she'll still faithfully do her job. The city guard only has so many members, and Jill doesn't skip a patrol.]
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Will? You know him?
[Jill hasn't been filled in, with all of the craziness, that the two even know each other.]
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You don't know? Will and I know each other quite well from before Hadriel. In fact I've been living with him since I arrived.
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[She's a little caught off guard by that. Not angry, just surprised.]
With everything that's been going on, we haven't had the chance to talk much lately.
[Things are a little up in the air at the moment between them, she thinks.]
But that's great! I mean, I'm sorry you were dragged into all this. I wouldn't put anyone in this situation. [Caves. Gods. It's bizarre.] It's just good to have a friend around. He could use one.
[And if Will has invited Hannibal to live with him, the two must be very good friends.]
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Yeah, I know. But you know what I mean.
[A person can certainly be glad and not glad about something at the same time. So far, Hannibal has been kind, pleasant, and capable. Jill certainly approves of Will having a friend like that. They are a bit of an odd couple, though. Will is many good things, but she would not have labeled him as refined. How did the two of them meet? Given that Hannibal is a psychiatrist, Jill can't help but wonder about the obvious.]
Hm, I don't think I want to put Will out of his own house. Or make him feel as though I'm not talking to him.
[Jill isn't hiding anything from him. She would talk to him too, of course. Hannibal wants to help, though, and maybe a little professional insight would do her some good.]
Would it be inappropriate for you to come to my place? The clinic is great and all, but before coming here, I spent a lot of time in... medical facilities. [Which is one way of putting it.] I can't help feeling like I'm under a microscope when I'm there. If it's not an inconvenience to you.
I will guarantee you a reasonably acceptable cup of coffee or tea with your visit. [He probably makes great coffee so hopefully he won't be offended by hers.]
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[Being invited into her home gives Hannibal a number of potential future advantages, from the increased trust on Jill's part to the knowledge of layout and whatever potential security systems she might have in place. He has no plans to kill her at this moment, but it's always good to be prepared.]
When would you like me to come over?
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[Yes, therapy can be good, Jill. It's too late to back out of this now.]
How's 7:30? I should be home by then.
video;
[Sorry, Jill. She's nosy.]
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Everyone says things they don't mean, sometimes. I think good friends understand that.
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[Ellie's attempt at making her feel better gets Jill to smile, though.]
But I appreciate the attempt at making me feel better. I'll carry on, either way.
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Uh, yeah. Don't mention it.
[She's awkward at accepting thanks, but she gives Jill a smile anyway.]
Hope it works out okay.
Video
But especially for this? She laughs before she finally responds.]
Did you do anything other than the paint? [Because really, that's...not worth this.]
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[And that deserves an apology.]
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It wasn't that bad.
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Jill, you don't need to worry about it. I don't hold anything against you.
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Thank you. And... thank you for indulging me.
[He was actually willing to throw stuff at temples with her, which no one else would do. It probably helped her out a bit, letting her release some of her own aggression at the world.]
The whole thing is so embarrassing.
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[ In his own world, he was Rage's own, as well as Sorrow's. Anger doesn't surprise or shock him. And he could understand her rage, even, to the extent that he can know it, the anger that was her own and not just Rage's. ]
[ Quietly ] It isn't your fault. The gods arranged this event, the same way they apparently have arranged others. We get caught up in the feelings. You've ended up taking the rap for something that wasn't your doing.
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[Jill would not have signed up for it.]
It happens so often, I can't help but think I must be doing something wrong. Causing it somehow.
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[ When she starts to worry about whether the source of the trouble is herself, he begins to look a little worried. ]
Causing it? I suspect that we Hadriel residents were chosen for our susceptibility to certain emotions. If that is the case, then you are not the cause. The choosing agent is the cause.
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[As if that was no reason she should ever complain.]
Hm, I never thought of it like that.
[That they were chosen for that reason.]
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And thus, I respect you for your apology to those who witnessed your anger, but I cannot blame you for having been in its grip.
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Some do blame me, but I can't ask them not to. Still, thanks for that.
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I hope the whole incident will blow over, and those who blame you will stop.
And you're welcome, Jill. I wish you well, I really do.
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Thanks, Curufin. That's.. really kind of you.
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I understand. I don't blame you. But if there's anything I can do to make it up to you, just ask.
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I hope that clears everything up. Thanks for the bullshit apology, Jill. [ It would have been easier to forgive if Jill hadn't called her a monster, a demon. If she hadn't said she belonged here. But if that's what she thought then, then why not make it true for her now? She's been the demon before and she has no issue doing it again. Not anymore. ]
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[But Sharon is going to believe what she wants.]
I don't believe any of those things I said to you before. When I was in trouble, you helped me. You didn't even know me. That's the kind of person you are. You can hate me if you want to, but that's what I really think of you. I just want you to know that.
[Sharon's a good person in Jill's eyes.]
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Secondly? He feels like she's trying to make herself feel better and cast herself as a martyr, someone used by the gods, rather than a genuine apology for her own actions. It's so easy to say that she'll do whatever she can to make up for her behavior. It doesn't take away the fact that Danse had to scrub paint off Tranquility's temple. Or that her words stuck with him for the remainder of the week, sticking like the smell of rotten eggs on his skin.
But. He doesn't know her from Adam. And accepting or rejecting the apology is inconsequential for Danse, but it could mean the world to Jill right now. At the end of the day, is he really going to let a couple of rotten eggs and words spoken in the heat of the moment get the better of his conscience? There could be a woman here who's really torn up by what she did. And Danse knows the value of a few kind words better than anyone.
So after debating a response, Danse eventually settles for a simple one:]
Apology accepted.
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He might find her apology coached or insincere, but it's not. Maybe he would believe her if she threw herself sobbing at his feet. Maybe that's what would satisfy him. That's not who Jill is, though. Jill is a soldier. Perhaps he doesn't understand what that means, or maybe he's forgotten what it means. Her words may not be full of painful tears, but they are real and sincere.
Any forgiveness she receives is a gift. She doesn't blame him or anyone else if they're not willing to forgive or overlook her actions, no matter if the gods were involved or not. In the end, he accepts the apology, but perhaps out of common courtesy than any real desire to do so. That's his choice.]
Thank you.