FIFTH SONG ♫ TEXT

[hasitsthorns]

Finally bit the dust.
Guess it was only a matter of time. Kind of impressed I lasted as long as I did without getting offed.

Show of hands, who else has died in this place?
Does it always suck a metric fuckton or is that just me?

Comments

private.

[torrefied]

[... Oh. Ouch. That's a sentiment that hits entirely too close to home.]

I understand that better than you might think, actually.

private.

[hasitsthorns]

Do you know?
Well, since I'm pretty sure you're not a cannibalistic monster...
What's eating you?

private.

[torrefied]

No, I'm not. But I do know what it's like to feel like you don't have complete control over some aspect of yourself that you think you should.

[He hesitates, deliberating on how much detail he wants to provide here.]

Emotion responses are often at odds with logic. I was taught to value logic and intelligence above all else. The fact that I cannot control my emotional responses as well as I'd like feels like a personal failing. It's a battle I know I cannot win, but that doesn't stop me from thinking that I should be able to find a way to win it, somehow.

private.

[hasitsthorns]

Ah. The old head versus the heart struggle. That's one I know pretty well, actually... Though for me, I suppose it was a mature of going against my nature.

I knew what I was supposed to be. But I wasn't. I didn't try to be different, I just was. I kept thinking there had to be someway to fit the mold, but I guess... there just isn't. Never quite came to terms with that either, so. Maybe that's why I'm struggling so hard with this.

[ An interesting revelation. ]

For what it's worth, I think emotions are part of what makes humanity so unique. It's a good thing, not something you should try to deny.

private.

[torrefied]

I couldn't if I tried, and believe me, I have. And I can objectively recognize that emotion can be a strength, too, but it doesn't always feel like it. There's someone I've known since we were both children. He's unemotional, and he's always been better than me at everything that counts. That's why I can't help thinking if I could shut off emotion like he can, maybe I could be better, too.

Re: private.

[hasitsthorns]

Trust me, I know how much of a weakness emotion feels like. I was cast out of my pack, almost killed for being 'too emotional.' Too human. So I get it. Believe me, I do.

But I think being unemotional is a weakness too. Maybe you're better than them in some ways you don't even realize because of your emotions.
Or maybe the grass is just always greener on the other side.
Who knows.