hadriel | Dictation - 4 [Text] (Forward Dated to the 7th)

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Dictation - 4 [Text] (Forward Dated to the 7th)

[When he had blinked back into life upon Hope's altar, Rosen had felt neither joy nor sadness at the fact. He had stared dumbly at the ceiling, noting with vague surprise and disappointment that death seems to do nothing for alleviating a person's mental and emotional exhaustion. They, or at least he, simply felt the same heaviness and dull discomfort that seems to come with owning mortal flesh. Mortal flesh that has aged and withered, had grown gaunt and grey.

There was no ceremony or eagerness to the way he pulled himself up, sat for another moment or so, and gathered himself onto his feet.

There was a slight haze. A disorientation that felt like heavy fingers gripping lazily at the back of his brain, just tightly enough to be a constant drain but not an actual impairment, and with the same slow, apathetic demeanor he had begun the trudge back to the spires, climbed the steps, opened the door, then tucked himself away inside his apartment, slumped into a chair at his kitchen table.

What now?

Should he call someone? Inform someone that he was back? In his tired fog he couldn't really see a point to telling anyone. What difference would it make? Was it even important? His empty apartment almost felt, in that moment, like evidence confirming that no, it was not.

At some point his fingers crept into his sweater pocket and fished out his phone, and at last he typed out a simple and emotionless text]

Has anyone seen my satchel?

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[Rosen is slow in turning his head. He hasn't really done anything aside from sit and stare at the surface of his table, phone resting in the cradle of his fingers.]

Hello, Lance.

Hello.

[Although Lance is thinking of plenty of things to say or ask, he's at a loss--unusually, for him--for what he should say or ask. This is not exactly a situation that they go over in school.

So for now he just wanders further into the apartment, taking his usual seat at the table, and decides not to overthink it.]

How are you feeling?

[It isn't the stereotypical psychologist line, or even a variation on it, just a genuine question. He doesn't know how the whole 'coming back to life' thing works, after all.]

[Lee's eyes follow him. Once again he logically knows Lance is someone he is happy to see, but the usual sentimental feelings that come with that seem somehow delayed in coming. As if his emotions missed the train that his intellect managed to catch]

Well...I know my name is Lee Noah Rosen. I know where I am. I know what happened. I know who you are...

[He sighs, shoulders sagging]

...but none of it feels real yet.

[His fingers spread on the table surface and he drops his gaze to watch them]

It is somewhat like I've been under anesthesia.

Edited 2017-07-05 00:06 (UTC)

That's probably pretty normal.

[Unless there's something specific to the process of coming back, dying and returning is likely somewhat similar to suffering from any other sudden and very serious illness or injury. Emotional or mental shock is common and to be expected.]

As normal as anything about this situation is, anyway.

[Rosen nods in agreement]

That is unfortunately true

[His gaze then settles on Lance.]

Are you well?

[Have I missed anything important probably should have been his next question, but really it is much farther down on his list of priorities than Lance's wellbeing]

I'm fine.

[He'll discuss Rosen's priorities later on, after he's had more time to recover, so instead he'll just reassure him for now and move on; it just so happens that he does so by answering the question Rosen didn't ask.]

Things have been quiet, for the most part. There was something... Noteworthy, I guess, that happened, but it can wait.

[It's not an immediate issue, there's just trouble brewing and he's sure there probably will be some trouble with individuals in regards to it, but that'll be at least a little down the line.]

We have the Clinic covered, so no need to worry about that either for now.

If it is more about the gods and their nonsense then I don't want to know until absolutely necessary

[They currently rank at the bottom of his priorities list, and Rosen doesn't see the point of pretending otherwise]

Were there many casualties? Of the..the ghosts.

[Well, Lance feels even better about the decision not to go into it just yet.

His gaze shifts to the table briefly at the question, thinking over a few conversations he'd had during that whole event, and then gives a weak shrug.]

I don't know. Few people came into the Clinic for any sort of assistance, and although I spoke with some who did about what their plans were I'm not sure how many decided upon what course of action in the end.

[So there's very little way for him to have tracked how many deaths there were. He hopes not many, but realistically it was probably at least a few.]

[Lee knew that at least Ronan had chosen the same course of action, but couldn't be sure if anyone had managed to save him or not. Same for Sans. And the children, what became of Frisk and Duck?

He takes in a particularly sharp, wavering breath at the thought but does not voice his fears.]

And I assume you spoke to Will.

[The question had to be asked at some point]

[He notices that reaction, but doesn't ask just yet. There are a lot of things he's waiting to address until later, and so he just nods at Rosen's words.]

I did.

[A few times.]

He wasn't aware you'd return.

[That gives Rosen genuine pause, leaving him blinking slowly for a moment.]

No one told him about the rules of life and death here?

[He's even fairly certain that the phone's guide mentions it]

Though, the honest truth is I wasn't certain if I would come back or if I'd be sent away like Kate or Flick. However I was betting on the likelihood that I would eventually.

[Kate and Flick hadn't needed to die to be sent away, after all. So it suggests those rules are different.]

Apparently not. I thought he'd read the guide, so I didn't mention it either; someone else told him, though.

[So he'd found out soon enough, at least. Lance is quiet as Rosen continues, then gives another small shrug and looks off to the side again.]

I'd lecture you on taking the chance, but I probably would've done the same thing.

[He admits it quietly, but it's not like Rosen probably couldn't have guessed anyway; if Lance had seen any of his friends or his adoptive parents there's no way he would've been able to bring himself to kill them, real or not.]

[Rosen opens his mouth to speak but closes it again.

'Taking the chance' seems to strangely imply he had had a choice. He had, of course. In the literal sense. There was an option b, an option c even. But in the less literal world, there had been no there option left open to him.]

I could never kill my own daughter, even if it was perhaps only a copy of her.

[He chews at the corner of his lip]

I wasn't father of the year for any year of her life but... [He reaches up a hand to rub at his face] ...I never have and never could raise a hand against my own child. Not for anything. And certainly not to save my own ass.

[That's a response Lance approves of, for several reasons, and he gives a small nod of both understanding and agreement.]

You had no way of knowing if she was real or not, either. I'm not sure if there's a professional opinion to give here, but personally I think you made the right choice.

[If there's any sort of 'right' choice here, but hopefully Rosen gets what he means. And even after the event, who's to say how 'real' the ghosts were or weren't? What even defines being 'real?' Where's the line that makes it acceptable--or not--to decide these ghosts' lives aren't important?]

[In all honesty, Rosen would have found a professional opinion much less valuable]

Thank you

[The words are dropped quietly against his knuckles, hand still rubbing idly at his jawline]

[Lance smiles, just a little, trying to be reassuring, but he's not sure if it's working. Either way he lets silence fall for several seconds before speaking up again.]

Would you like to stay at my apartment for a few days?

[Mostly because he still doesn't think it's the best idea for Rosen to be alone, especially if the emotional side of everything hasn't kicked in yet.]

[Lee swallows with some difficulty, beginning to feel more than mildly frustrated with how he can simultaneously feel like himself and very much not feel like himself at the same time, then nods.]

Are you sure?

[Last time he'd stayed there had been when Lance was in the worst of his recovery. And at that time he had been, at least in theory, serving a function. Now he would just be- well he's not sure how to finish that thought.]

I wouldn't have offered otherwise.

[Even if he didn't already owe Rosen a lot for all he's done for him here he still would've offered, because it's the right thing to do in this situation and being there to help when needed is part of what goes into being friends.]

[Rosen moves to stand then]

Could we, um, could we go now? [A beat] Please?

I don't want to be here.

[He's a little surprised at the sudden enthusiasm, but nods and gets to his feet as well.]

Of course, sure. You should grab some spare clothes and things.

[Lee draws in a low breath but silently goes to do just that, using a drawstring bag he normally uses to carry spare things he finds for the clinic. He halfheartedly folds a few shirts and pairs of trousers, along with the odd cardigan and jacket.

He then walks back out to the kitchen, the bag gripped before him with both hands. He looks half like a kid waiting to be taken camping and half like he is lost in his own home. His last memories here were of being sick in bed and of Danielle and of dying.

He doesn't have it in him to process that right now, so now Rosen watches Lance expectantly, just wanting to get out of here. ]

Edited 2017-07-05 19:46 (UTC)

[While Rosen packs Lance wanders over to the piano, not bothering to sit down and just tapping a few keys here and there, in a very slow start to the first song that comes to mind which is made pretty unrecognizable by the slow pace and lack of chords. He looks up again when Rosen reenters the room, noticing the lost look, and tries taking the lead a bit.]

Is there anything else you'd like to bring? If not, let's go.

I, uh,

[His head turns slowly, looking around in a vague search for nothing specifically]

I think this is everything.

[Besides, if he's forgotten something, it is not too difficult to run back and grab it.]

Okay.

[That decided, Lance leads the way to the door and waits for Rosen to go first so that he can lock it behind them, then takes back over leading way toward the second spire. He shoves his hands in his pockets, glancing over at Rosen to make sure he's following, but he's content to walk in silence unless Rosen wants to say anything.]

[Unsurprisingly Rosen is short on the conversation as they walk, now and again just staring around at the cave but never remarking on it.

It is only when they begin the final approach towards Lance's door that he attempts some lightheartedness]

Roomies again.

[But his tone falls flat and it ends up feeling forced though he hadn't meant it to. Instantly he looks apologetic and drops his gaze back to the floor]

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