[text]

[werewolfing]

So, word on the street from everyone's favorite whiny god is that if we form a group to fight off the monsters when the Door opens instead of making him chase them around, we all get prizes. Or something. You know how these guys are.

Anyway, I'm not a fighter, but I bet there's a bunch of you who are real good at killing things. Maybe you should form a club. I'll provide cookies if I can get my roommate to teach me how to make em.

Comments

[morphinum]

a few things:

1: I am not going to be anyones fucking welcome wagon
2: you better not be shitting me about cookies. I hate a lot of things and shit talkers are most definitely one of them
3: these ""prizes"" better be worth my time
4: IF i do this its not for you or anyone else I've got plenty of my own self interests thanks very much

[werewolfing]

1. nobody said anything about friendliness. this is solely about violence against monsters. probably you shouldn't kill any non-monsters but i don't really give a shit.
2. if somebody teaches me to make cookies there will be cookies. hell yes to cookies.
3. don't look at me i've never gotten any god prizes. ask hope.
4. you are on the whole assuming i give way too many fucks about whether this happens.

[morphinum]

1: good just want to make sure you have appropriate expectations here
2: no ifs ands or buts that's not how we do it here in murdercave city
3: already did and he gave a really shitty answer. might talk to him in the context of monster death but I'm not super optimistic
4: organizing shit implies some level of fucks whether you want people to know that or not

[werewolfing]

1. i have no expectations whatsoever. you do you.
2. it can only happen if someone bestows cookie making knowledge upon me otherwise they're gonna be real shit cookies. nobody wants that.
3. yeah he was kinda a downer in general actually. not really embodying the spirit of himself or whatever.
4. i might give a fuck or two but not enough of them to care about why you want to murder monsters in the murdercave. just murder them so i don't get murdered and maybe there will be swag. that's pretty much it.

[unmakes]

cookies?? no, dude

think bigger

picture it with me: free booze, one shot per kill

voice.

[heavyheels]

We had something like that where I was before ... we called it the Watch. People teamed up with partners for regular patrols around the area, to make sure nothing nasty got into the village and hurt people.

[Well ... they tried, anyway.]

[werewolfing]

if i had the booze i would definitely consider it.

maybe you can talk the gods into that sweet deal.

voice.

[werewolfing]

In this case it's probably only important when the Door opens, which I guess is what happens when new people show up. Once we're done getting here and being bothered the monsters seem to go away. So...once in a while Watch, I guess.

voice.

[heavyheels]

But - how do you know? Do the monsters have some kind of timer? They could attack people at any time, not just when some Door opens.

voice.

[werewolfing]

I don't know, I just got here. But people had to go into the caves to find the monsters, and they're not just randomly hanging out in town, so I sorta logicked it out. If you wanna do a patrol all the time, I'm sure not gonna stop you. I don't even do the fighting thing.

voice.

[heavyheels]

Well, sheesh, it's not like I want to fight monsters all the time. I just want to protect people - make sure everyone stays as safe as they can.

[As safe as is possible around gods who can bury half the population alive, anyway.]

[unmakes]

assuming i don't have the booze

text

[krangke]

No.

text

[werewolfing]

there you have it, folks. newt, denier of cookies.

voice.

[werewolfing]

Oh no, you're a hero, huh. Godspeed and all that. Good way to get dead, although I guess they bring you back around here.

[werewolfing]

well if you have the booze why aren't you sharing with deserving folk like me? i have some cigarettes if you're into that.

text

[krangke]

I've never had a cookie in my entire life, mate. I have no bloody clue how to make them.

text

[werewolfing]

well shit, we're gonna have to fix that. the store has super mediocre cookies. bet you could figure out how to do it better.

text

[krangke]

Are they really all that good?

text

[werewolfing]

this is something you can only discover for yourself, young grasshopper.

but i'm going to the store to get some right now if that answers your question.

text

[krangke]

You really don't have to. I know movement is a lot of effort on your part.

text

[werewolfing]

wow just because i won't go kill monsters

rude, blondie, rude.

cookies are worth the effort even if they're not great cookies.

text

[krangke]

Oh I drew that conclusion pre-monster incident.

You know, I'm beginning to think I ought to make a hair-oriented name for you. Shaggy, maybe? Scruffy. Hmm. I'll have to work on that.

Ah yes okay of course. Cookies. So very worth the effort. I await your return with baited breath.

Re: text

[werewolfing]

you're the one who keeps kicking me out of the kitchen.

it's really not necessary, but you gotta do what you gotta do.

save your sarcasm for something less vital than cookies. you do not yet understand.

text

[krangke]

You're a distraction.

Uh huh of course.

Nope I suppose I don't. Until I do I'll keep my sarcasm safe and close.