itsnotaonesie: (casual spider)
[personal profile] itsnotaonesie
Hey everyone, this is Peter. I'm, uh... Just lemmie-- Okay, I'm gonna preface this with "I'm fine", which... probably still sounds concerning to anyone who knows me. Uh, with good reason, but I promise that I really am fine.

Okay? Okay.

So... okay, you know those freaky tentacle snails that attacked those guys a little while ago? Yeah, they're still around. I ran into a few of them outside the city, and by 'ran into' I mean 'was totally ambushed by'. Like, I was just minding my own business and they jumped out all "Blahhhhgh!" and I was like "oh snap!!", so yeah, we fought a little and I got bit and, y'know, it hurt. And I know the one guy was all "hey call for back up if you see any" and I totally would have if I'd had a chance, but I didn't? I mean, not because I didn't want to, it's just like, in the moment I was a little distracted by trying to get away from the things, and I didn't have my web shooters on me because they're possessed by demons right now? So I wasn't gonna even try to catch one of those guys without my gear, so I left. My toothbrush tried to stab me this morning, I'm not dealin' with this on top of that today. I'm done, I'm tapping out!

Anyway, if anyone else ends up fighting these guys, go for the eyes if you can. They're kind of hard to hit because of all the tentacles, but if you can take their eyes out it slows them down. They're still dangerous, though, like, they will absolutely still try to fight you, so just like, don't stick around if you can help it. In fact, just don't go outside the city by yourself. Don't go anywhere by yourself. Y'know, buddy system up if you can. I don't know how many of these dudes are still out there, but I have a feeling that they're not going away any time soon.

Oh right, I did manage to break a chunk off one of their shells. I don't know how helpful that's gonna be? But I've got it at the lab if anyone wants to see it, assuming you can pry it away from Newt. I also got a photo! It's... not a very good one, but uh, I'll put this somewhere, I guess.

[attached photo: A City Boy Seconds Before Being Chomped By A Tentacle Monster.]
circumitus: in the ikea parking garage i think i slept here (can you come pick me up?)
[personal profile] circumitus
speakeasy/game room's a bit understaffed lately with the few losses we've had.

could use some extra hands if anyone wants to help out with either or both floors.

jobs including but not limited to:

- managing bar/game room
- bartending special drinks for philistines who have no idea what good taste is
- bouncers in case some motherfucker tries to wreck the place (going to need people capable of throwing someone out on their ass)
- music maybe?
- helping me distill the shit people drink here so you all dont dry out my supply

thats all thanks bye


[On that note, she'll just be attaching a handy signup form and... hope for the best.]
lifetothefullest: (ɪsɴ'ᴛ ɪᴛ ᴀʟʟ ᴊᴜsᴛ ᴘᴀʀᴛ ᴏғ ᴛʜᴇ ɴᴀᴛᴜʀᴇ)
[personal profile] lifetothefullest
[Lance looks a little over life at the moment, which most of his friends probably recognize as his standard look when not being purposefully professional. He's not bothering with the latter right now, both because he's a bit annoyed and because he thinks it would be pointless, so instead everyone gets normal, slightly bitchy Lance.]

Okay, I wish I could say that I can't believe I have to remind people of this, but vigilante justice is not exactly the best idea here. Not only is it morally wrong to just declare yourself to have the authority to decide who is and isn't deserving of 'justice', but it's logically wrong too; you're just going to cause problems, not solve them.

I'm not saying not to intervene when something's actively happening, but going after someone days or weeks later is just starting the whole process of retaliation all over again. So can everyone just take their egos down a notch and, if they're concerned about someone being an active threat or something, work on coming up with some sort of solution that isn't going to make things worse as soon as it's done?

[This is not the first time he's had to go into this discussion while here--or at home--and so that's why he's being extra short about it. He's also not just talking about the recent incident, it's simply what prompted him to say something this time.]
puzzlingly: (♚ 134.)
[personal profile] puzzlingly
It's been a while since he's made a video post in which he looks actually serious, he doesn't look sad for a change, just thoughtful.

When he finally speaks he does it uncharacteristically (for him) quietly, even though, firm.


How do you deal with loss?

When people leave this place or, when you know you will never see someone you care for again?
When they pass away.
Do you try to forget about them... or... 「No, that thought actually hurts.

What is that helps you to move on?

If they do at all.

This has been in his mind ever since Maedhros and Celebrimbor were gone, and even way before. He didn't knew them personally, but he could see how much pain their departure had caused — only one person had made him feel that way, but it wasn't Yugi who left, it was him. Atem left them all and he cannot help but wonder, was he the cause of grief among his loved ones, the ones that survived him when he decided to give up his life, and then when he had to move on from the world of the living a second time?

He doesn't wish to think so highly of himself, but it's hard, specially when all his life the world did use to revolve around him. But he worries about those he left behind, they would be fine, wouldn't they? Heh, if only they knew he hasn't moved on at all, that he still talks to his partner in his head all the time... What a little hypocrite.



private text: Kaiba Seto

Mokuba is gone.

But Atem is sure he already knows. He doesn't expect a reply.
puzzlingly: (♚ 162.)
[personal profile] puzzlingly
you know what?
being alive is pretty rad


That's all. What? People are always telling the most ridiculous things over the network, why can't he?

No, he's not high, though, he should be.




Private: Law

I'm sorry.
thirdreturned: (And himself and everybody around)
[personal profile] thirdreturned
[Have you missed him? Sorrow graces the network of Hadriel once more, and just like every other time, he's calm, composed. Even death can't seem to shake him.]

It's time for a relocation.

[Straight to business, as always.]

Fear was acting quickly when he moved the city to the homeworld of our original hosts, but this is hardly an environment that I'd approve of staying in for too long. I understand that many of you longed to be free from the underground caverns, but we were safer there. Here- we're vulnerable, exposed to Null scans, and without cover. As such, I've instructed Fear to move the city immediately.

[There's a pause, as he considers- though of course, he's already thought this part through.]

Of our four underground cities that we moved between, the Null have located two. It's possible that Delight has told them the location of the other two. Therefore, our remaining options are the surfaces of the other planets- places that provide more tactical advantages when it comes to hiding and potentially fighting the Null. With that being said, there are three options that come to mind immediately. Listen closely- I am allowing you to decide which location best suits your purposes, both for hiding and for a potential battle.

• The first is a planet that is far colder than this one. Temperatures are often below freezing, which inhibit's the Null's ability to scan for life. This was the planet where we made first contact with the Null, as well as the first planet they attacked. Some of our embassies may still remain, with information about our alliance and about the Null that were lost to us.

• The second is a planet with far more life than this one. The city location is overrun by various plants and animals, which will provide adequate cover to hide from the Null, though they may prove dangerous to you. The area is lush and humid and it rains quite often- flooding is a possibility.

• As for the third... the planet's surface is roughly ninety-two percent water, making it one of the few places the Null would not care to look. The inhabitable areas are rocky islands, with some aquatic life and a few plants further inland. This planet is where many of my elders resided, and at one point, I visited here often to learn of the history of my species. The Null destroyed all of our structures and every artifact here that they could find, but they did not find all of them. This is where I instructed Fear to find the Door.

These are the options we have available to us right now. I trust you'll choose wisely.


Open to: Registered Users, detailed results viewable to: Access List, participants: 80

Where should we go next?

The frozen planet
13 (16.2%)

The jungle planet
22 (27.5%)

The ocean planet
45 (56.2%)



[He'd end it there, but- well, there's an elephant in the room here, isn't there?]

Additionally. Thank you.

I understand that the motivation to resurrect me was largely due to my knowledge of the Door and your desire to return home, but all the same... I was forced again to consider the possibility of failure. When I- when the Null destroyed me, I had to come to terms with the thought that this was the end of our efforts.

Because of all of you, it was not.

I owe you a debt. I won't forget that.
restinglichface: Let's give up! (I've got a plan:)
[personal profile] restinglichface
[The broadcast opens up on Lup's bright, beaming expression, her mouth balled up to the right in a grin, mischief dancing against her eyes. For those who haven't seen the elf in awhile, she's sporting a new 'do, her usual long locks cropped short to her head, though with a little help from her brother, she pulls off the look effortlessly.

It's honestly the most excited Lup's looked in the past three weeks.]


Sup, nerds. This is your fav evocation expert sendin' out the call for ladies needin' a weekend away. Hadriel life runnin' ya ragged? Need a break from the liches in charge tuggin' ya this way an' that? Just plain ol' bored lookin' at your family's dumb faces?

[The corner of her mouth twitches upwards as she tries to hold back a laugh, before the elf is quickly adding,] --Sorry, Koko.

Then come join me on a trip outside these shitty dunes to explore what the rest of this world has to offer. Any an' all gals are invited. Just hit me up an' we'll get this ball rollin'.

[She pulls the phone away from her face so she can show off a few instagram angles, complete with duck face.] Lup out!

text

Dec. 25th, 2017 05:10 pm
murderpotato: (And then there's this asshole)
[personal profile] murderpotato
ok so i know this aint like a top priority or whatever

but can somebody fuckin figure out how to close caption shit on here or something because my deaf ass aint got a fuckin clue what you assholes are saying

and you all talk too goddamn fast for me to read lips. i aint good at it yet, slow the fuck down.
pocketspa: (« [Lup] #twinning)
[personal profile] pocketspa
[The camera opens on two people, sitting shoulder to shoulder and addressing the camera head-on. Or, well... one elf and a skeleton. Taako’s face is wide in a grin, seemingly intent on emoting well enough for the two of them, and they simultaneously move to flip some hair from their faces- or well, Lup would, if she had any. The motion is still recognizable enough as they address the network.]

Helloooo, Hadriel!

[For those who remember Stepford, it might be very reminiscent of their tv show, Lup’s voice coming through loud and clear to make herself a little more recognizable.]

You’re on with the twins, and today, we have a suuuuper important thing we need you to settle.

Bee-tee-dubs, we wouldn’t even need to bother with this if my dear brother could get over himself.

[Taako gives her a look, before re-addressing the camera.] Anyway, so there’s like, transmutation magic, which is awesome and rad, and then there’s evocation, which just like, does elemental stuff or whatever, and is super lame. So if you were gonna pick one--

Yeah, no. [And Lup raises a hand to prove her point, summoning fire instantly to her skeletal palm.] Deffo cooler than anything that comes out of his specialization. Trust me, fam.

[Without even a response, a translucent, spectral hand appears behind Taako, and moving in tandem with his hand, floats into the frame and smacks Lup upside the head before disappearing.]

I can literally turn into anything I want, whenever I want. I can fly, my dude. I could be a shark.

Holy shit, Taako. Give up the shark thing. No one cares about sharks! I’m not trying to crush your game or anything, but pick a better animal.

It’s a fucking shark! What is there not to-- no, you know what, stand back, this is gonna be amazing. [He is, in fact, backing up to give himself some space with the intent to actually do it, tossing his pointy wizard hat to the side in preparation.]

And there he goes again. [Lup could not possibly sound less excited if she tried.]

Check. It. Out. [Taako winks towards the camera, hands on his hips, and then extends his arms, starting to emanate a strange sort of glow. But just before their audience can catch sight of what supremely awesome magic Taako is about to throw down, the camera shifts, pulled to a close up on Lup’s skeletal face. She tilts her head, as if smiling, effectively blocking Taako’s transformation from being seen.]

Y'know, I don’t think I’ve ever looked so good.

[Behind her, a loud and rather angry roar can be heard, that still kind of sounds a little like Taako. The voice that follows is much rougher than his normal tone, because it’s hard to make animal vocal chords try and speak, okay.]

LUP WHAT THE FUCK--

[It’s accompanied by what sounds like some thrashing, and then absolutely the sound of something in their room shattering to the floor. Lup somehow manages to ignore the chaos behind her completely, throwing up a skeletal peace sign before the connection cuts.]

[ooc: Taako is blue, Lup is red, both of them are purple! Specify if you want one or the other because the default is both with a three-way thread!]
drabsolutelynot: (phone)
[personal profile] drabsolutelynot

[Rosen has now been in the cave going on 7 months. He's marked out the time on his laptop,  little digits scribbled here and there between his thoughts and observations. 7 long months and as he scrolls through his records, inconsistent as they are due to the lapses in his mental capacity over the past few months, he finds certain reoccurring issues. Most are to be expected, issues of loneliness, fear, and an overwhelming sense of uselessness. However, there are others. Ones that keep him awake late into the night. One's that linger in the way he chews at the corner of his mouth or the way he uncomfortably flexes his fingers.

Prominent among those that he can't help but pick at like an annoying scab is the question of killing. A question that has always dogged him in his very specific line of work and now weighs heavily on his thoughts once again. It is not a coincidence that only a few days earlier a certain friend of his appeared in the clinic wounded and that this same friend subsequently posted to the network asking about the procurement of more bullets for his gun, a weapon that had been implicated as part of the problem in the events that lead to his injuries. 

Lee also hasn't forgotten a certain conversation he had with this same friend weeks earlier, a conversation during which Lee had hoped to convince them to use an alternative and less deadly form of self-defense. Rosen's hopes had inevitably been dashed and though he's tried to let that go, the thoughts that had driven him then are still festering now. 

So now he types out a question, having decided to pose it to the cave as a whole.] 

 

Under what circumstances do you think taking a life is justified? 
hasitsthorns: (I'ᴅ ʀᴀᴛʜᴇʀ ʙᴇ ᴡʀᴏɴɢ)
[personal profile] hasitsthorns
Yo, everyone! [ Been a while since you seen this lovely lady's smiling face on the network, huh? Of course, those familiar with her stunts so far know that with a grin this big it's about to be something ridiculous she's addressing the network with. ]

How're you all liking your new decor? Good? That's great. Anyway, [ she starts, camera moving closer to her face as she starts typing something in addition to filming. ] I thought we could do something fun after all that alternate reality nonsense. Since I'm the only one left to keep the people entertained, I figured it was about time for...


🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥🔥


[ That is some super obnoxious sparkly text coming across your screens, folks. Sorry she's not sorry for the burning of any eyes. ]

Alright, so! How this works is pretty easy. You gotta' post a picture of yourself with a piece of paper that has 'Roast Me' written on it. Or you can take a pic and just, like, put text over the image. Whatever. But for the authentic feel, I say go with the paper. I'll start!

[ Rose pulls back, holding up a pink piece of paper with Roast Me and bats her eyelashes. ]

Now, you have permission to insult the heck outta' me based on what you see. That's what 'roast' means in this case. Try and get creative! It's all in good fun, of course, and I won't take anything personally. I promise. Nor should you if you decide to participate! Though your friends are allowed to put you up here on your behalf. But just in case you don't wanna' potentially ruin any friendships or might be more of a sensitive bean than you thought... Anon stuff is allowed, as per usual.

So, come on guys! Tell me how you really feel.

(( ooc note; This follows the same rules as r/oast me on Reddit. Characters can post themselves or - with ooc permission, of course - have their cr post them instead. It's meant to be mean, but in a hopefully funny way. Of course, characters are allowed to get angry, upset, have hurt feelings, etc. But don't say Rose didn't warn you! ))
thechoiceisyours: (★ ʟɪᴋᴇ ᴀ ʙᴜɪʟᴅɪɴɢ ᴄᴏɴᴅᴇᴍɴᴇᴅ)
[personal profile] thechoiceisyours
Hey, everyone. So uh, I've got a few things to go over, but for everyone who's new, hi. I'm Chris, and I've been here way too long.

[He says it with a grin, clearly finding some humor; he's not as upset about being here as a lot of people are, for a few different reasons.]

I guess that's the main reason why I'm making this post, because um... You've all seen the Null stuff, and Fear's post, and I know that like... A lot of you are missing parts of the story, which you kind of need to make good decisions.

So I figured like, Mello's guide is great about what the hell we're doing here and what to expect, and he and Sharon put together a list of past events, but that's not the big picture stuff. It's all super important, but we also kind of need to be on the same page about everything.

So... Yeah. )

But yeah, all of that out of the way, I also wanted to let people know that Hannah went home. Which um... Sucks, for a lot of reasons. But yeah, people should know.

On less shitty news, I finished a game; you can now all play chess against each other. No computer AI opponents since Deep Blue's kind of beyond me, but you can at least challenge each other and then brag about what a nerd you are. And you know if I'm saying that, it's pretty damn nerdy.


[Private to Duck]

[One last thing to address here--]

Hey, bro, still up for alpha testing a text-adventure game for me?
ushahin: (The Dreamer)
[personal profile] ushahin
[It's been a while since Ushahin has posted to the network. He always ends up enjoying the responses he gets, for it gives him a good pulse on what the cave residents are up to. It's time for another one of what Sans once called his "philosophy hour."

He's sitting outside, and for once, is wearing sunglasses, hiding the worst of the damage done to his eye sockets. It appears that he's watching something up in the sky, the moment of his head going round and round.]


I used to wonder sometimes if being brought here was a punishment for all the wrongs I have done in my life. I don't suppose it is so, but sometimes, the idea seems to have merit. Tell me, what is the worst thing you have done in your life? No lying or vague answers for this one or I'll pull it right out of your heads. Just tell me the truth.

[What he's been watching rapidly descends, revealing the dot in the cave ceiling to have been Fetch, his raven friend. He lands on the ground and hops over, giving whoever is watching an extreme close-up of the raven as he pecks at the device. He gives out a guttural Grrrawww! to Ushahin, who seems to be listening to it as if it's actual words.]

I suppose you are right. Fair trade and all that. I won't tell anyone else. You don't live to be my age without learning how to keep a secret. And if you tell me one, if you would like, I'll tell you one of mine.
outstandingbalance: (pic#10792619)
[personal profile] outstandingbalance
[Low image quality and poor light combine to leave Natasha almost unrecognizable. It's mostly the red in her hair and the sound of her voice when she speaks that identify her, for those who know her.]

In light of our current situation, I'm hoping to get a rough idea what we have to work with.

Specifically, two priorities.

First, anyone who wants to let us know how much food they have on hand and whether or not they'd be willing to share. We might have to tighten our belts a little here, but we can at least try to make what we have last as long as possible and get to as many people as possible.

[A pause, filled with fuzzy static. Then:]

Second, who has access to guns and how much ammo they have on hand.

I've got about a clip and a half left.
dedikated: (099)
[personal profile] dedikated
Anyone come here with sedatives? Sleeping pills, specifically.

Need to make use of them.
thirdreturned: (Default)
[personal profile] thirdreturned
Many of you seem to be unhappy.

We don't all necessarily want you to be happy, but acceptance and adaptation to your situation would be a start. The only question that remains is: how?

It is clear to us that your species resolves many issues through communication. Unfortunately, none of us understand the human psyche as clearly as others of your species, and so I leave it to you to communicate with and to help one another.

You may consider this post an open forum in which you can discuss what's been bothering you. In turn, I will conceal your identities, so that you may help one another without preconceived biases. If you'd like to reveal yourselves to one another, the option is there, but unnecessary.

Heal. Recover.

I'll leave you to it.


[[This is an event post for the Never Log In event! Remember, characters are compelled to get things off of their chest here, as well as to help others- and of course, please stay oocly logged in for your comments!]]
skelebro: (wipe that smile off your face)
[personal profile] skelebro
[The whole world is ending.

Or something like that, he's guessing. Everyone's panicking, everything's burning, and people are running around like Icecaps with their hats off. Chaotic is a word for it. Amusing is another. Either way, there's a skeleton on your video feeds now. He looks just like the skeleton a lot of you are bound to know, save for maybe the look in his eyesockets. It's not the typical world-weary apathy that's more reminiscent of good old Sans. It's more like there's just an emptiness, bleak and cold. But even that's pretty hard to gauge; it ain't like the reading of skeletal facial expressions is common talent down here. Though the, uh, rather sizable crack in his skull, netted just along the ridges of his left eyesocket, might be pretty indicative that this ain't the same Sans.

From the angle of the video, it's clear that he's standing outside the charred remains of Tranquility's temple. He's got plenty of Faith that the decor will be perfect for the tone he's going for.

He looks pretty happy.

There's something very liberating about having reached The End. A number swells, and then it increases. And the last piece slots into place, the last sliver of anything resembling remorse boiled off and burned away.

It's not long now. But he's got one last task ahead of him before, at least, he and his ilk find their much-awaited sleep.]


So I've got a question for ya.

[His tone is a neutral, rumbling drawl, utterly placid and philosophical.]

Did anybody here really buy that innocent, bumbling comedian shtick?

[He opens a hand. A thin white trickle of something hisses out between his phalanges, rattling to the ground in a grainy patter of falling motes. He waits until the last of it whispers to the ground, softly, before flicking the last of it from his fingertips and continuing.

It's dust. Three guesses as to the monster it belongs to.]


Well, what can I say? I'm here to bring forth some revelation. Anybody stupid enough to buy that little act of his...

[He grins, wide - wider. No, w i d e r. And his sockets go pitch-dark, until it's like staring into a pair of black holes. A glacial bite creeps over his tone, razor-thin, the edges filed off, almost like there's something jagged and seriffed curving along the tips of the words.]

Allow me to prove you wrong.

[There's a low, dark chuckle, and the feed cuts out. He's looking for a FIGHT all right, and he won't be sated until he gets it. So come down to Tranquility's in fifteen minutes if u want an ass kicking. "Sans" here is delivering, and will continue to do so right up until his time is up.]

[[ooc: responses will come from [personal profile] fibia! Feel free to action things up so you can drag this edgelord to hell and back lol he deserves it.]]
hasitsthorns: (Kᴇᴇᴘ ᴍᴇ ᴘᴀʀᴛʏɪɴɢ ᴛᴏ ᴛʜᴇ A.M.)
[personal profile] hasitsthorns
Hellllooooo Hadriel!

[ So. Someone's cheery. One wouldn't think so what with the cave being restored to its 'former glory.' ]

Sure is a bummer that Tranquility's good times ended, huh? [ Understatement of the year. ] Fret not, however, for I have taken it upon myself to plan for Love's inevitable - and fashionably late - arrival!

[ Do you have a bad feeling yet? You should. ]

How, you ask? Well! Easy. I've started charting out the ships down here in the cave. What's a 'ship,' you ask? A ship is short for 'relationship'! This can be any kind, really, but the actual fun is in ones of the romantic sort. [ An oh so innocent bat of her eyelashes. ]

There's a couple obvious ones, there's those who have loved and lost, there's the hopeful buddings of new relationships, and of course we're always wondering who are deities are into.

[ No? Just her? Alright then. ]

You can find the list I've started attached and, please, add to it as you see fit! I'll make the changes accordingly. I'll even try to keep it up to date, so! If any changes happen after the fact - break-ups, make-ups, or unfortunate farewells - feel free to hit me up personally and let me know. This way, Love can be up to speed upon arrival.

allyouneedislove )

Oh, right, of course. I should also mention that I've enabled the anonymous feature for responses, so! If you're shy or don't wanna compromise friendships by outing the couples you do know, don't worry. Or if you just wanna stir up some gossip and speculation, don't worry! Your secret's safe with me.

[ WINK. All's fair in love and war, yaddah yaddah. ]

(( ooc; So! HAVE AT IT, MURDERCAVE. FEEL THE LOVE. I'll be updating the post as I get suggestions and eventually porting it to Rose's personal journal for future reference. C'mon, ya'll, let's make Love feel welcome for when they arrive. ))

1 ☄ text

Jan. 2nd, 2017 11:30 am
fifthreturned: (Default)
[personal profile] fifthreturned
Hey there. Thanks for telling Hope to bring me back - hopefully you all can get some use out of these vehicles I made. I think they're pretty neat.

How are you all liking the place? I forgot how messed up the city got before I died. It looks like Hope fixed some of it up, at least. I'm too low on power to do any real improvements, but this temporary facelift should last for a little longer. Enjoy the vacation while you can, uh - 'humans', right? That's what most of you are called?

Enjoy the vacation, humans, and the vehicles. I'm Tranquility, I made this city, and it's sure nice to be back.
unknowable: (so I like to keep my issues drawn)
[personal profile] unknowable
[It looks like Adam has taken one of the mopeds to pieces. There are engine bits carefully arranged around him, his hands still have traces of grease on them, and there are tools nearby. He generally doesn't use the network much, but - this seemed relevant.]

I guess these are the vehicles we were promised. They seem all right - probably won't go more than 25, but it's not like there's a real need for speed here. They run pretty well, though they're electric, so they'll need charging. And they're not too complicated, so if something breaks it should be easy to fix - I'd be fine showing anyone who wants to learn.

[He pauses for a moment, shrugs.]

Or doing it for you, I guess. But there's some... weird stuff.

[Adam picks up the carburetor, unscrews part of the covering, and pulls it off. Rather than what would be expected to be inside - normal moped parts, necessary to running it - out pops a spring-loaded, fake-looking snake, like something you'd hide in a can for a shitty prank.

Expecting this, Adam does not seem surprised, only vaguely tired and maybe a tiny bit amused.]


All the ones I looked at have something like this. They run fine, though.

[And, totally deadpan, as a service to those who might be unfamiliar with this kind of thing:]

They really shouldn't.

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