three ❀ video

[unknowable]

[It looks like Adam has taken one of the mopeds to pieces. There are engine bits carefully arranged around him, his hands still have traces of grease on them, and there are tools nearby. He generally doesn't use the network much, but - this seemed relevant.]

I guess these are the vehicles we were promised. They seem all right - probably won't go more than 25, but it's not like there's a real need for speed here. They run pretty well, though they're electric, so they'll need charging. And they're not too complicated, so if something breaks it should be easy to fix - I'd be fine showing anyone who wants to learn.

[He pauses for a moment, shrugs.]

Or doing it for you, I guess. But there's some... weird stuff.

[Adam picks up the carburetor, unscrews part of the covering, and pulls it off. Rather than what would be expected to be inside - normal moped parts, necessary to running it - out pops a spring-loaded, fake-looking snake, like something you'd hide in a can for a shitty prank.

Expecting this, Adam does not seem surprised, only vaguely tired and maybe a tiny bit amused.]

All the ones I looked at have something like this. They run fine, though.

[And, totally deadpan, as a service to those who might be unfamiliar with this kind of thing:]

They really shouldn't.

Comments

audio

[unitas]

...Yeah, I think I'm going to stick to walking. [ Because 1) FUCK DA GODS, 2) there's a toy snake in a moped and she's not dealing with that kind of shit, and 3) it's been killer for her ass and thighs. ]

That's just fucking weird.

audio

[unknowable]

They work fine, and they seem safe. But yeah, I know what you mean.

[Who knows how safe something can be when it's totally weird and messed up?]

I wonder what else is like this.

video

[murderpotato]

[The cars are full of fake snakes, awesome.]

I ain't fuckin' surprised anymore.

[He no longer has the ability to be surprised when weird bullshit happens in this place. Most of the shit that happens here doesn't make sense and no one should probably expect it to.]

At least they don't fuckin' blow up or some shit, I guess?

video

[unknowable]

Kind of disturbing how fast total weirdness can become mundane.

[Though this is definitely, well, different.]

They haven't blown up yet, and there's not really anything that indicates they might, except for - well. That. We're probably safe.

Video

[knifecollecting]

That's weird. [She turns to eye the moped she claimed earlier.]

How do they charge?

Video

[unknowable]

There's charging stations at the lot I got this one from. You'd just plug it in and leave it there for awhile - it looks like they hold a pretty good charge.

[He taps a port on the side of the moped, where you'd plug it in.]

I haven't tried it yet, though. For all I know it'll just explode into glitter.

[Text]

[save_theworld]

How tall do you have to be to drive one?

[Text]

[unknowable]

Well, you need to be able to get at least one foot on the ground to brace yourself when you're stopped. I don't think there's a height limit besides that. Maybe you could try it?

video;

[pellameno]

Do you think you could teach me to ride one?

video;

[unknowable]

Sure. They're a lot easier than something like a motorcycle would be. Are there cars or bikes where you're from?

video

[64th]

So what's the snake do?

video

[unknowable]

Provides a totally unnecessary amount of extra fun, I guess?

video;

[iustitiae]

On a scale from one to ten, though, how much does that really surprise you?

video;

[unknowable]

I wish I could rate it higher, but I've been here too long. I'd give it a three, maybe.

(Video)

[handofsilver]

What is the use of that...serpent? (Is that what it is? Celebrimbor is not certain.) No, I am surprised they work at all with such shoddy craftsmanship.

(Video)

[unknowable]

I guess it's just there to surprise whoever opens it up. It doesn't seem to have any actual function.

[He picks it up, a flimsy construction of plastic and paper.]

Maybe it's supposed to be funny.

[audio]

[sciencelizard]

[She cannot stop watching this video. There's. Where's the machinery. Holy shit.]

They're... there's n-no parts in them? At all?

[audio]

[unknowable]

There's other parts... the rest of it is all normal.

[He tries to be reassuring. He's not too good at it.]

It still works okay?

audio;

[greywaren]

You know you don't have to do that crap here, right?

[Casual, but a little pointed. Nobody expects it from him here, and becoming the Town Mechanic isn't something that Ronan thinks Adam wants.]

audio;

[unknowable]

No one's forcing me. I just wanted to.

[It's been awhile since he worked on anything. He misses it - the simplicity of it.]

video;

[benumbing]

Can you do anything about the paint job?

video;

[unknowable]

If I could find the right kind of paint, sure. I haven't seen any in the shops, though.

[sunsetsitter]

Okay, they work. Great. But these are booooring.

[gotta take advantage the sun cycle being thrown off, and that includes pestering people.]

Rocket ships! Send me one of those next time, huh?

[unknowable]

I don't know, I think they're kind of fun. Better than nothing, anyway.

[He's had nothing but his own two feet for more than a year now.]

We're in a cave, usually, so rocket ships would be pretty impractical. You'd bump your head.

video

[skelebro]

[You like skeletons? Well you got a skeleton right here. He's leaning on the bars of a lime green moped, lookin' mighty pleased with himself.]

So it runs on magic.

video

[unknowable]

[Okay... a skeleton. Cool. That's, uh. A thing.]

It must, there's no way it can run normally if the carburetor's like that.

video;

[fourthsaken]

How? How can a vehicle with no real parts even work?

[Someone's new enough that she's still surprised by just how weird things are here.]

video;

[unknowable]

Magic. I mean, that's the only explanation, really.

[Which sort of offends his logical nature.]

[voice]

[circumitus]

[Scoff.]

Figures. Would offer a hand with anything on the mechanical side, but it doesn't look like those models aren't based on any sort of engineering.

[voice]

[unknowable]

The rest of the parts all seem to work the way they're supposed to, which leads me to believe that if there are problems we'll be able to fix them, but...

[He shrugs.]

I have absolutely no explanation for how this is supposed to work.

video. pretend i'm not super late.

[bekommen]

[Well, Nick is certainly intrigued by this.]

So ... you're a mechanic?

video. you totally aren't

[unknowable]

Yeah. I was back home, anyway.

[Among other things.]