three ❀ video

[unknowable]

[It looks like Adam has taken one of the mopeds to pieces. There are engine bits carefully arranged around him, his hands still have traces of grease on them, and there are tools nearby. He generally doesn't use the network much, but - this seemed relevant.]

I guess these are the vehicles we were promised. They seem all right - probably won't go more than 25, but it's not like there's a real need for speed here. They run pretty well, though they're electric, so they'll need charging. And they're not too complicated, so if something breaks it should be easy to fix - I'd be fine showing anyone who wants to learn.

[He pauses for a moment, shrugs.]

Or doing it for you, I guess. But there's some... weird stuff.

[Adam picks up the carburetor, unscrews part of the covering, and pulls it off. Rather than what would be expected to be inside - normal moped parts, necessary to running it - out pops a spring-loaded, fake-looking snake, like something you'd hide in a can for a shitty prank.

Expecting this, Adam does not seem surprised, only vaguely tired and maybe a tiny bit amused.]

All the ones I looked at have something like this. They run fine, though.

[And, totally deadpan, as a service to those who might be unfamiliar with this kind of thing:]

They really shouldn't.

Comments

[sunsetsitter]

[Awh, come on, dude. Let her have her rocket ship!!]

I wouldn't. You might.

[unknowable]

I definitely would. I have no idea how to fly a rocket ship.

[sunsetsitter]

Ah, so you've got no business telling me what me and my rocket ship can or can't be doing. Got it.

[She props her chin on her palm, eyes bright.]

But to be honest, the one I'm used to doesn't have much in the way of steering. It just kinda goes where it goes. Takes direction if you ask nicely.

[unknowable]

I guess that was pretty rude of me, yeah.

[Given his lack of rocket ship knowledge.]

So... you talk to it? It's sentient?

[sunsetsitter]

Ah, I'm used to rude dudes. Pretty much all I got around me. Well, no, I guess that isn't true.

[She's literally just rambling... But she seems delighted to have a conversation? Maybe she's just delighted in general. Surely you'd be delighted if you were this pink all the time.]

Sure! It's a tree, so it's a living thing as much as it is a vehicle. Doesn't talk back or anything, but it listens. Trees are great listeners.

[unknowable]

There's gotta be a few decent ones.

[He's more amused than anything by her rambling - Adam's not always such a great conversationalist himself, being on the quiet side, so he doesn't mind it.]

Trees are great listeners, that's true. It never talks back, though? Ever? Maybe you just can't hear it.

[His trees are much more demanding.]

[sunsetsitter]

...I mean, maybe, but that's something to ask someone from Phang, not me. They're the experts when it comes to hearing things no one else can.

[unknowable]

Where are you from, then?

[sunsetsitter]

Cleave! I hear most of you don't hang around the same solar system it's in.

[So many silly earthlings.]

[unknowable]

I've never even heard of it. We haven't left our solar system yet where I'm from.

[sunsetsitter]

I'd say it's not all it's cracked up to be, but space is fucking rad when you get to travel all around it. I mean, Cleave is kinda the pits, but in general! You're missing out.

...I mean, especially now that we're stuck here. Yikes.

[unknowable]

Hey, maybe my world will get there someday. We went to the moon and haven't really been back since, though, so we've got a ways to go.

[sunsetsitter]

Yeah? Well, you managed to not go to war against it, so you're already doing better than some planet I know. Good job, man. Although I guess you...probably didn't have much to do with that. Unless you fix rockets on top of cars.

[unknowable]

There's not much on the moon to go to war with, or else we probably would have found some way to do it.

[Adam's faith in humanity is so high.]

Ah... yeah, can't say I've ever fixed a rocket. Not yet anyway.

[sunsetsitter]

Hey, at least you're honest. That earns you some points.

[unknowable]

I feel like if I lied about that someone would eventually bring me a rocket and expect me to fix it. That would be a disaster.

[sunsetsitter]

Or super mega cool. Could really find your calling.

[unknowable]

I think it's a lot more likely that I'd get blown up. But hey, maybe that is my calling.

[sunsetsitter]

I feel like you'd have to fuck up pretty bad to blow up...

[Not that she knows a ton about rockets, either.]

Especially with one of the wooden ones from Cleave. That's more likely to just make disco lights go off.

[unknowable]

That doesn't sound too bad. I'm pretty good with plants sometimes - maybe that would help.

[Magical plants, usually, but if it can fly through outer space maybe it counts.]

[sunsetsitter]

Exactly!

[Yay. Now if her boss shows up for some reason she can try to rope Adam into being their mechanic.]

So... You look like one of those usual shades of human-y skin color, but the thumb's green, huh?

[unknowable]

Sure, you could say that. I sacrificed myself to a magical forest, so sometimes I have a little easier time with plants than most.

[He says that pretty casually. Adam usually not the type to volunteer that information, but he already knows she's some kind of alien from a different universe, so it seems only fair.]

I'm just a human, though.